To ask if as an adult you still get an allowance of some sort from your parents/caregivers?

[Lalala89]

Hi all,

I was listening to the radio station the other day and they had asked the above question of anyone over the age of 25.

Absolutely not meant in a negative way, but I was so surprised by the calls that came in, everything from parent's paying phone bill's to power, mortgages to lump sums yearly/monthly.

Parents paying for cars/ insurances, the caller that stuck with me was a lady who recieved $1200 a week from her mother into her children's accounts (so it wasn't taxed) as her mother wanted her grandchildren to have the best life possible.

Just interested if anyone has any stories along these lines because lockdown has me curious 😁

My parents give each of us money at Christmas. When they started to do this my dad sat down - on Christmas day, mind you, right after the turkey - and explained 'well, we're going to die, and if we don't die for at least another seven years, you won't have to pay taxes on this money, so it seemed sensible'.

He was totally confused why my brother and I both burst into tears.

I thought they were trying to tell us they'd had some bad news!

It is very generous, though. More recently, my mum helps out with nursery fees (or did until last month when DD qualified for the free hours). I do feel awkward about it, but also very grateful.

I'd never expect or ask, though.

My parents pay for a cleaning service to come once a week. They live hundreds of miles away, are in ill health, and want to help. I have children with additional needs and they're aware of how difficult life can be when you don't have help. My mother in particular wishes her mother had offered her more help (practical, not financial) when her kids were young, she raised us on her own without family help while my dad worked long hours. My DH works away and if they were local and in better health I know they'd be here babysitting and helping out, but they can't, so this is how she feels better about it. I've never asked, fought the idea for a long time, but now just appreciate that they care. Me refusing help caused hurt on their end for a long time.

They did a lot for my sibling financially so this is also their way of "balancing" things although I never expected it or feel resentful for what they did for my sibling. I've never asked for help and certainly don't expect any inheritance.

No.
Did help our in laws out though when they were desperate.

I’ll say that yes I am one of those people who get handouts from parents
First of all DH mum gave us 10k for a house deposit 6 years ago. Helped us massively and we sold that 18months ago and managed to buy our dream house with the equity
Could never have done that without her
My parents give us £50 a month
This is towards our childcare costs. It comes in at just the right time before payday when things are a bit tight

We don’t need it. Our household income is just under 90k. But if I can do the same for DC I will do. We didn’t ask for any help but are extremely grateful for it

Not a monthly amount, I find that quite odd, and I wouldn't feel like a proper adult if I did.

But I have had help paying off some debt which was fully repaid, a loan for a car which again was fully repaid, a substantial gift for a house deposit which will come out of my future inheritance, and a lump sum and £5 weekly payments into a separate account for DS. DM also gives me the odd £5 and £10 here and there to buy DS something nice.

@Flirtygirl people who are ill still have personalities and character traits you know, they don’t automatically qualify for sainthood. My brother's health issues are largely self inflicted. He was an idle and selfish child, and he’s an idle and selfish adult. I don’t resent my parents financial support of him, I resent him ruining their well earned retirements though.

My mam grew up very poor. As in not having enough to eat kind of poor. By the time her and my stepdad were in their late thirties he was earning a very good salary working abroad.
So yes, they regularly help us out with money.
They don't pay for regular bills but they pay for things like the kids activities, bring us around 40 quids worth of food shopping a week, pay for holidays at home and abroad. A few times a year they'll just transfer us some money They insist on paying the bill for meals out. For birthdays they'll pay for home improvements, cars, weekends away. They offered to pay for our kids to go to private school which we declined.

They still have more money than they could spend. They live in a lovely house which had the mortgage paid off years ago so they don't have much else to spend the money on.

I don't really see anything wrong with it. My H still works hard in a good job and earns a good salary while I'm enabled to work part time and still have all the luxuries that we would have had if I'd worked full time without this help but I get to look after the kids. Whats wrong with that?

I would completely offer the same help to my kids when they're adult and will help them all the way. I'm still good at managing my money and could cope without their help.

I completely get why having hand-outs from parents may seem as though the recipient is being spoilt and indulged. But, for those of you who have children, would you genuinely be able to sit back and enjoy your savings/earnings (considering you have plenty) and watch your children and grandchildren struggle financially or live life of a much lower standard to yourself or to what they have grown up accustomed to?
Personally, if there’s enough to go round, I’d rather everyone enjoy it and I hope I have the privilege of being able to share what I have with my adult children should they ever need it when they grow up.

We don’t get a regular amount of money, but my parents are incredibly generous. We don’t expect or need it but every so often they give us money. They also put generous amounts into the children’s savings accounts. And every so often they take us all on holiday. Plus they always insist on paying for meals when we go out. I’m sure there is more.

I have to say I cried the other week as once the Coronavirus shit hit the fan (and pretty much flat lined our business) they rang to say they have transferred some money to us to take the worry away and to just ask if we needed more. It’s all no strings attached and they just want to help or treat us. They treat all us siblings identically and all the grandchildren too. We are all very very lucky.

I hope we can do the same for our children one day.

Yes I am over 60 & my DPs (late 80s) give me £100 a month, they jokingly call it a ‘carer’s Allowance’. They are equally generous to my siblings and all their grandchildren. My DS is at Uni & they give him a monthly allowance too. They receive incredibly good pensions, have an extremely comfortable life style, have down sized so have plenty of capital ... and in their words they would rather see us enjoying it now, they also give very generously to charity.

When my parents retired to Spain they apparently bought my brother a nice flat, fully furnished it, bought him a car and also pay for him to fly out to see them every 3 to 4 months. He was 39 at the time and still living at home, pretty much fully supported by them at the time, right down to my mother buying his clothes, cigarettes and beer for him. Totally NT just a spoilt, lazy bastard and the "golden child". Horribly dependant.

I haven't had a penny from them since I left home at 16, but I also haven't seen or spoken to them since I was 18. I'm glad I'm not him.

That said, if I had money I would definitely do what I could to help out my DC. I don't have any money though!

Not a monthly allowance, but dm is very generous in that if I'm talking about something the children are doing/want to do often she'll offer to pay part. It's really kind of her, but in no way expected.

Since my Mum died my Dad has surprised me and my sister with a bank transfer now and again. He’s so kind and thoughtful: it’s meant i could buy extra Uni books, and when my laptop broke he gave me back what I’d paid for a new one. I would never ever ask him for money, but he says he likes to help us out randomly when he can. I’m super-grateful and I hope I can do the same for my kids when they are older too.

I don't envisage a time when I have available money and am not willing to share it with family and friends. If I have it spare and they need it then I'll give it. Sadly I'll never be a millionaire!

Just my mam now. Would begrudge giving kids money u think dont give it so. Kinda glad I never got help as wonder could it be thrown back at u at a later point!!! Will help my own kids where we can.

My parents are and have always been generous with money and I find it difficult to accept it whilst also being very grateful for it. For my 22nd birthday, they opened a Help to Buy ISA for me and have been putting £200 a month into that since then. Once it reaches the maximum amount for a bonus (£12k - this will happen later this year) they will stop and I will start adding to it myself. I had an allowance at uni, partly because the loan wasn't enough and partly because we weren't allowed weekend jobs as a condition of the course.

As a 'proper' adult in my own home with a partner, they are still generous in smaller ways - paying for meals out together or refusing to be repaid when Dad picks stuff up from Costco for us, though I always ask! I meet my mum for lunch often as our offices are only 15mins walk from each other and sometimes she'll pay, sometimes I will. When I bought a car, they paid for the cost of recovery/breakdown cover - at their insistence. They also pay for me to have private health insurance, which is entirely their choice as I probably wouldn't bother myself, but they are both covered through Dad's work as spouses, so want to ensure I have additional protection too. They are well off and mortgage free, and they like to support me, which I'm very grateful for but don't take for granted.

My DP's parents throw money at him constantly, on the other hand! But not in the form of an allowance.

Nothing from my parents. Don’t see why they should fund my life, they have to work for it, why shouldn’t I.

A friend of mine gets an allowance from her parents, about a 1000 a month. She’s married with 2 kids, in her 40s.

Even when we have been on the bones of our arse, I couldn't ask even for a loan. I'm sure they would have gladly given/lent me money but I just couldn't.

I would be extremely sad if my boys were 'on the bones of their arses' and didn't feel they could ask me for help.

My DM will buy me stuff every now and then randomly and put £10 monthly into an account for my eldest dc until they were 18, but other than that no, and I would actually feel really uncomfortable accepting regular significant amounts from them. They worked really hard and I want them to enjoy their money. My DGPs gave me 'pocket money' weekly from when i was born until they died. DGM died when I was 29 and by that stage it had increased to £5 per week I used to try to refuse but it was important to her and i remember that very fondly now.

We do. More in form of specific gifts like others, days out, food occasionally etc. They are generous people by nature anyway (give to charity, volunteered lots in community when I was young). My parents are ill with chronic health problems which means they can’t help practically with childcare in the way they hoped they would - we don’t expect it at all and could cope without if needed

Yes.
My parents pay my university tution fees. I'm 27 and would never have been able to go otherwise (not entitled to a student loan)

My parents are quite wealthy and have helped me once or twice with a lump sum (car and house buying) but have never given me an allowance or regular top ups.

My parents have not given me a penny since my last day of 6th form. Not even when I was at university, and I couldn't get a full loan because of their income.

No, but my parents have loaned us large sums of money to do work on our house (approx £30k) interest free. My husbands work gives set bonuses so they knew we could pay it back within about 3 years. They also gifted me £10k when I was 25 towards my first house deposit.

Now that I'm in my 30's and have two DC obviously I don't get any handouts, but they're very generous and financially comfortable and I know they would always be happy to give me/us an interest free loan if it was needed, as they know I'll pay it back. I have friends whose parents give them large sums of money, which I do find odd - my parents have recently bought a second home so could definitely have afforded to eg pay for the work I had done on my house outright, rather than an interest free loan, but why on earth should they?!