To ask if as an adult you still get an allowance of some sort from your parents/caregivers?

[Lalala89]

Hi all,

I was listening to the radio station the other day and they had asked the above question of anyone over the age of 25.

Absolutely not meant in a negative way, but I was so surprised by the calls that came in, everything from parent's paying phone bill's to power, mortgages to lump sums yearly/monthly.

Parents paying for cars/ insurances, the caller that stuck with me was a lady who recieved $1200 a week from her mother into her children's accounts (so it wasn't taxed) as her mother wanted her grandchildren to have the best life possible.

Just interested if anyone has any stories along these lines because lockdown has me curious 😁

No! They helped me through uni ( I'm old enough to have had a grant - but they had to top it up. No student jobs in the north east during the miner's strike) but since then I've been on my own. Even when we have been on the bones of our arse, I couldn't ask even for a loan. I'm sure they would have gladly given/lent me money but I just couldn't.

Not since university.

My Dad /aunt do occasionally drop us unexpected generous gifts eg, money to buy an ipad/ cash to upgrade my washing machine when I bought a new house but nothing regular/ predictable.

My Dad would always help financially in a crisis but he uses money to control people so my siblings and I try not to ask and sometimes loan money amongst ourselves to avoid doing so.

My aunt Is much less complicated and would also help in a crisis but she has fewer resources than Dad so we wouldn’t ask her.

My mum buys me random things, like last week I was saying to her that the conversion from cups to grams was so odd and then a few days later a set of measuring cups and spoons arrived! But I don’t get anything like an allowance!

Yes we do get help from my parents if we need it. It's not an allowance but they do step in if we are struggling and have given us house deposits etc. I hope I'll be in a position to do the same for my children when it comes to it.

My dad pays my car insurance 😁 it's because he bought and paid for my brothers first car and insurance at 17 and still does. I didn't pass my test until I was 30 and paid for my own car so he reckons it's only fair.

I don't pay anything regularly. But I help my daughters when it would be a helpful thing to do. My eldest is a real saver, and finally managed to buy her first small home a couple of years ago. It pretty much cleared her out apart from an amount she'd put aside in case interest rates went up. It was clear that the was likely to need a new CH boiler at some point and a new door, which I knew she was concerned about. So I gave her some money in a separate account for such needs.
The other daughter was married last summer and has just had a baby, so of course I spent a similar amount to help with the wedding and baby stuff.

I wouldn't do anything ongoing, because I think it's important for my kids to budget and manage their regular expenses according to their income. Nor do I want them to take me for granted (which they never do). But I can help them out with specific things as they arise, and am happy to do so, because they're sensible with money, and very appreciative when I do help.

Most of my friends got help from relatives for buying their first home.

Not now but they did until I was about 24. I had my first son unplanned, and young and the truth is we couldn’t afford a child. My parents bought us a a car, all the furniture for our first house, and did a weekly food shop for us (they ordered it online and it was delivered to our house) until our son was two. They also gave us half of our house deposit. We’re incredibly, incredibly grateful and lucky as I know many people don’t have that. I always say that although my husband and I are now well off, and successful, this is absolutely due to the support of my parents and grandparents (who provided free childcare for my children).

We help our dd & her family, very happy that we can help ease the burden a little, buy our dgds clothes & shoes, pay nursery fees & pay for us all to go on holiday once a year, also buy nappies & formula & occasionally buy bigger things that was needed for the home.
It gives us great pleasure & takes the pressure off our sil as our dd is unable to work due to serious health issues.

I think it's the regular allowances that's weird. I don't think I'd be able to consider yourself an adult if I still got 'pocket money' from mummy and daddy.

Nope, and at 18 + if we stayed at/moved back home we paid rent

I work with someone who earns roughly 60k? Ish, in his mid 30's, he had a couple of properties he rents, his wife is early 30's and works as a teacher in the north x1 Young child (just to give you an idea of finances etc), her mum still pays her phone bill. I find this baffling! He says they always have and it's normal for her! He finds it amusing!

My friends mum gives her loads, clothes all the time, loads of stuff for the baby, pays for her phone contract (some kind of family plan) friend is in her early 30's but it started when friend was a teenager, then when at uni and has just continued.

My parents lent me a chunk of money for my house deposit (£5k which I'm slowly paying back), they have also helped me out with the odd expense (but this is VERY rare. Maybe 1k over a 10 year period? Which included deposit on old rental as well as money for car repairs. They help my brother out as well. He's been made redundant a few times so they have helped him here and their. If I ever asked they would always help. They don't have massive outgoings (Moorgate free, car is through work etc).

I don't think it's unusual for parents to help offspring from time to time, I do find it odd for them to regularly pay for things such as a mortgage. BUT. Their is every chance it's done so that they know the child has a roof over their head etc, and if that means the inheritance is spent whilst the parents are alive then so be it. I wouldn't say no if dad offered to transfer me £200 every month

I'm in my 30s and have paid my way since starting work at 16.

Honestly I'd feel ashamed if my parents were paying or contributing to my bills. Any help should be very time limited such as in the event of losing a job or similar.

No. We’re lucky in that we know both our parents would be willing and able to help us out if we were in financial trouble, but we’re not. We live within our means and save, and luckily have never been in a position not to be able to.

Someone I work with gets a 400 pound a month allowance from their dad! They are over 50.

No! I wouldn't want them to either - it would be embarrassing and a bit cringeworthy! I think the last allowance my parents gave me was mid 1990's when they gave me £300 a month for 3 years for rent and food whilst I was doing my first degree. I value my independence and sense of achievement too much.

It will be our pleasure and privilege to help our DCs out financially from time to time in the future, though they're both going into very lucratively paid careers so probably won't need any help. But it will still be nice to treat them to something special. I would feel very uncomfortable knowing my children were living hand to mouth or anxious about paying their car repayments when DH and I were sitting very comfortably on our very big nest egg

Other way round for me, I had to pay half my mum’s bills from the ages of 20-25. Even after I left home at 21. We both earned 20k each. It was like paying maintenance to my own mum and I lived on a shoestring as I had my own rent and bills. Had my son at 23 (which she disagreed with me doing) and had to cut my maternity leave short as I could not afford everything and she insisted I paid her first and foremost.

It came to a head last year when she told me she had been filling up her ISA for 15 years and had done rather well for herself off the back of the money. She is sorry now and we are trying to rebuild, but unfortunately I have been conditioned into thinking I must pay for people in order to be loved so there has been a lot of damage done. I have been an enabler to many people because of this (threw money at my stepson), plus I’m a workaholic and neurotic about finances.

I don't get money from my mum, no. But she often buys clothes and toys for DS, not because I ask her to but out of love as he's her only grandchild.

My grandfather will give me money on occasion. Again I don't ask for it, he doesn't give me a regular amount for bills or anything but I am a single parent and he is comfortably off so he likes to treat us now and then. For example he will pay for DS and I to go to Butlins once a year or to go out for a meal, things like that. He did used to help me out with doing a food shop for me sometimes when I was on benefits after splitting with DS's dad but I no longer need that since I went back to work.

We get money now and then (which we never ask for and are extremely grateful to receive and realise it is a privilege).

Nothing regular but for example in the past couple of years:

• £5k from PILs when we moved into our first house to help with fixtures and fittings

• £1k from my parents towards a big shed/summerhouse

• £300 between both sets of parents for Easter (we are skint and unemployed at the moment due to the pandemic but they'd normally give us £100-200 anyway but perhaps in vouchers rather than cash)

• £200 cash my DM bunged me (again, towards food as unemployed)

Both sets of parents are reasonably well off and we are only children on both sides so very spoilt (but I actually grew up poor so neither expect it nor take it for granted).

Nope. Nothing from my parents, and I can't afford to help out my kids, because there's five of them and I couldn't hand out similar amounts to all of them (which would only be fair). I sometimes loan money but need it paid back as I'm on a stupidly small income.

Saying that, when my mum died she left enough money for my DB and I to buy a house each, so I now own my own home outright. And that's thanks to the savings DPs made through not constantly handing out smaller sums to DB and me. I'd rather have the house now than have had handouts during their lives.

My mum was paying half of my childcare bill (he went one day a week) as money was really tight, but my son really benefited. It stopped as soon as I finished studying and got a much better paid job.

No , but my dh helps his parents out with a couple of bills so they kind of get an allowance from him

Not allowance, but have had regular monetary gifts, my ddad would rather we had it when we need it than inherit when he dies (whatever he doesn't spend will then go to the grandkids).

Really didn’t think that this happened, not regularly. There is a point when it’s great be grown up. For you and your parents, isn’t that what the nature cycle is and what is hoped for.