Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be fed up of seeing what a great time my SIL is having in lockdown?

251 replies

TwiggetyTwig · 11/04/2020 22:32

SIL (DP's sister) is a single parent with 3 DC and lives in a sort of hippy commune in the countryside. She has a job she can do from home and is able to set her own hours (self employed). Her DC are home educated. She's a bit chaotic and has been a source of endless worry to the PIL over the years for one reason or another.

Since lockdown, she's been posting daily updates about how fanfuckingtastic it all is. Every day they've been out doing shit like paddling in the stream, or going for bike rides in the woods, or cooking dinner on a fire with her DC and the other DC who live with them, while I'm stuck in a house with a hanky sized garden trying to work set hours including being in video meetings whilst entertaining 3 bored children who usually are off to school every weekday! They just have so much freedom! Even for the difficult stuff like shopping, the adults are sharing the workload and pooling resources.

They are having pizza nights and camping out in fields and making water slides in the garden and to them it's just a holiday. Every evening she is hanging out with the other commune members and playing games or drinking wine or singing round a fire. She's not lonely like I am Sad Daily she is posting updates about how lucky she feels to have this lifestyle and it's just starting to feel a bit...galling. I mean I don't expect them to live in miserable silence but I'm tempted to unfollow her on Facebook as it's just frustrating seeing how her slightly bizarre lifestyle choice has ended up being a real bonus in this situation! I probably sound like a jealous cow and overall I'm not, I wouldn't want to live her life (not sure I could handle it tbh) but it is making me think I've missed a trick right now!

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 11/04/2020 22:34

It’s possible she’s finding it difficult too but all her posts are her way of dealing with it. You never know what’s going on behind facebook!
It might help to ‘snooze’ her posts for the time being if it’s upsetting you.

GreyishDays · 11/04/2020 22:34

Gawd, just unfollow her for now. Smile

AhComeOnNow · 11/04/2020 22:35

Sounds fab. Good for her.

WorraLiberty · 11/04/2020 22:35

I'm not sure what you're asking?

Is it "AIBU to unfollow her?" If so, then of course not. She won't know.

elQuintoConyo · 11/04/2020 22:35

You can hide her posts for 30 days.

I have hidden a couple of friends and a cousin for similar. I live in Spain in a flat, no garden, no balcony, can't go outside to exercise. It was getting me down so I hid them. Felt better immediately.

Comparison is the thief of joy, and these days I need all the bloody joy I can get!

Wine
NurseJaques · 11/04/2020 22:37

Snooze her and make yourself feel instantly better Smile

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 11/04/2020 22:37

but I'm tempted to unfollow her on Facebook

I can’t understand why you haven’t already!! Do it! And do the same for anyone else who is irritating you on FB.

There were too many on mine so I deactivated the account Grin

SeaLettuce · 11/04/2020 22:37

This is pretty mean-spirited. You sound as if you want to be congratulated or rewarded for bringing up your children in a conventional situation, and want everyone else to share the exact same misery of bored children, videoconferencing and a tiny garden. Is it just that you’re suddenly seeing the advantages of the life she’s chosen, when in the past you swallowed your PILs’ disapproving view? She will certainly also have found drawbacks to her lifestyle, so why not acknowledge that in situations like this, communal rural living can be a good thing?

Yogawoogie · 11/04/2020 22:37

You do sound jealous.
Sounds like a fab way to live (her way). Where do I sign up?

Fromthebirdsnest · 11/04/2020 22:38

Why would you want other people to be miserable just because.you are.? I think her lifestyle sounds really cool , if that's the life she want then brilliant you've said you wouldn't like it so why would you be jealous of a life you don't even want ? A lot of the things you've listed you can do with your family ! So why not try and make the best of it if you can ? X

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/04/2020 22:38

Unfollow her, she won’t know and you’ll feel better. You don’t seem to like her so it’s unsurprising you’re finding her lockdown experience galling.

SamSeabornforPresident · 11/04/2020 22:38

My friend is childfree and does dance lessons, reads, watches Netflix, gets food and cocktails delivered... while I wrangle 2 toddlers all day. Grin

That's just the way it is.

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 11/04/2020 22:39

I agree her lifestyle sounds pretty awesome.

brentwoodbaby · 11/04/2020 22:39

Sounds like the life she's lived for years that you've been cynical of is now benefiting her greatly.

She's family, be happy for her but remember all the (normal) reasons that in ordinary circumstances you wouldn't want her life.

FWIW I am insanely and irrationally jealous my childless furloughed friends who have spent the last week sunbathing, laying in and drinking but the pragmatic side of me remembers that I love my kids, I am incredibly lucky and grateful not to have been furloughed which is not a holiday and that I am far too boring for daytime drinking now!

BeardedMum · 11/04/2020 22:40

Sounds great. Why can you not be happy for her? Wish I had that lifestyle !!

PurpleFlower1983 · 11/04/2020 22:40

Her way sounds pretty good to be honest!

Russellbrandshair · 11/04/2020 22:40

Firstly, don’t believe everything you see on SM.
Secondly, there’s nothing stopping you from adopting a hippy lifestyle if you wish- you can create fun games inside or pretend to go camping indoors or go for a bike ride in the park? Surely you aren’t tied to your computer 24/7 without any breaks?
Thirdly- be honest, would you really really like to home school? I mean- for the entire time, not just 2 months of lockdown? Because for me that sounds like torture.

Oly4 · 11/04/2020 22:41

I think you mostly sound jealous OP. Let her enjoy her “chaotic” lifestyle as you see it.. for once it’s probably nice for her to feel that she’s made good choices... rather than everybody frowning on her all the time for making “bad” ones

NotNowPlzz · 11/04/2020 22:41

You sound like you usually enjoy an immense deal of pleasure thinking you're better than her.

Fluffydogdog · 11/04/2020 22:41

Wow I want her life. I’ve always wanted that kind of life, tbh. Where do I sign up?

Oh yes, and just mute her if you can’t handle it for sure.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 11/04/2020 22:42

Mean spirited

Sounds like you were used to her previous role as the chaotic black sheep to whom you were superior and now the tables are turned and her unconventional lifestyle is suddenly to be envied, and the tables are turned, your nose is out of joint and you are peeved.

CyberNan · 11/04/2020 22:44

nah... i've deleted my response.. you wouldn't have liked it

NotNowPlzz · 11/04/2020 22:44

Sounds like you were used to her previous role as the chaotic black sheep to whom you were superior and now the tables are turned and her unconventional lifestyle is suddenly to be envied, and the tables are turned, your nose is out of joint and you are peeved.

Precisely this.

Zantedeschia · 11/04/2020 22:45

Just unfollow her...you're still friends but don't see her posts.

There's lots of examples of how social media only shows the good side of things if you want to make yourself feel better.

SandyY2K · 11/04/2020 22:48

This jealousy over other people's lockdown fun intrigues me.

She's obviously benefitting from her commune hippy lifestyle... I couldn't be jealous of it, because I'd never want to live that way.

Everything has pros and cons.

Unfollow her and have some peace.