STBXH thinks I am unreasonable for the following odd reasons.

[TravellingSpoon]

So last night my STBXH sent me a very long email, brought about by me pissing him off by suggesting he could call DD if he doesnt want to come over and see her, as she is very upset about the lockdown and not going to school etc. So the email is deflection from that. He lists some of my 'unreasonable behaviour' during out nearly 20 years together. These include:

• regularly going out with a friend for dinner and not inviting our family. Apparently this is weird behaviour.
• starting DS on a dietician recommended vitamin programme without consulting him.
• using family money to but a magazine subscription for DD for her birthday when I should have used my own money because he hadn't agreed to it.
• not helping more when we moved house 13 years ago
• buying an ugly painting and hanging it in the hallway.
• taking DS1 ( his stepchild) to university open days without consulting him and filling his head with fanciful ideas.
• when I was studying for my NVQ 3 at work I didnt listen to his advice (despite the fact he n is nothing about Health and Social Care).

He does this often, goes on long rants about odd stuff to deflect, but this is the best it's ever been. Some of these things must have been eating at him for years.

But it certainly cheered me up a little. Anyone else have little gems of behaviour like this?

It reminds of sibling stuff 'you always had to be the dog in monopoly' etc

Well the dog is very important

Reply.

When will you be calling DD?

And don’t mention anything else.

It will drive him crazy that you’ve not responded to his little tantrum.

That sounds a bit like the list of reasons my ex put for our divorce - my charity work (helping to run a playgroup I took the kids to 3 times a week) was taking me away from the home too much.

The ugly painting, in particular, is brilliant.

I don’t understand how you’re not weeping about your unreasonableness

That really is little brother territory!

Do what Frazzled said!

Yes, what @frazzledasarock said. Take the wind completely out of his flapping sails by ignoring it.
He obviously has a lot of time on his hands. Idiot.

Hilarious, he sounds like a sulky child. Bet you're well rid.

I wouldn't reply at all. Leave him wondering if you even read it.

What a sensitive man he is. I wonder how he can survive this cold harsh world.

Tmi alert..
My abusive now exh told me our relationship was never a close one as I never involved him in my periods or let him change a tampon .
Just grim...
He was removed by the police after trying to hurl me downstairs post drink driving arrest...
I filed for divorce..
My new dh's contribution to period week is to buy me bars of chocolate!!

It is kind of funny, more to outsiders than you presumably, but 'ugly painting' WTA? If it makes you feel any better, my a*hole XH went online dating towards the end of our 20 yr marriage. End of a longline of crap. He eventually said he signed up for OLD one night when he wanted to go owl watching, and 13yr old DD and I didn't want to go with him. He thought he was being quite reasonable. Mucho threads on here about it at the time. I wasn't going to put it in the divorce petition, there being so much else to put in, but then I thought, nah, let's do it. I often think he's a bit scared I'll send a copy to his DM and new wife!

Can we see a pic of said 'ugly painting'?

@Windyatthebeach wtf?

@Windyatthebeach omg is that a thing?? Some bloke I know won’t even say the word tampon. Although that’s probably a separate issue on its own.

I agree with everyone else. Just reply about the phone call or something else ‘business like’

Frazzle is absolutely right. Ignore everything in that email and reply when will you be phoning your daughter.

spongebob
Wow. Blast from the past.
I remember 'owl watch' like it was yesterday
Hope things are nice and owl free these days. Mx.

@frazzledasarock

what she said, perfect.

@OwlinaTree

"hmm, on reflection you may have been right about that painting, oh well. So, when will you call DD"

Good grief, OP. And also to Windy.

But tell us more about the ugly painting.

Don’t reply to crap like this.

Grey rock the twat.

"The ugly painting, in particular, is brilliant."

That made me laugh out loud!

So what was the painting then?

'And you ate all the red & green wine gums'. That's the kind of thing ex would bring up in arguments.

Hilarious.

and yes, if you respond, only inquire about when he'll be calling his DD.