STBXH thinks I am unreasonable for the following odd reasons.

[TravellingSpoon]

So last night my STBXH sent me a very long email, brought about by me pissing him off by suggesting he could call DD if he doesnt want to come over and see her, as she is very upset about the lockdown and not going to school etc. So the email is deflection from that. He lists some of my 'unreasonable behaviour' during out nearly 20 years together. These include:

• regularly going out with a friend for dinner and not inviting our family. Apparently this is weird behaviour.
• starting DS on a dietician recommended vitamin programme without consulting him.
• using family money to but a magazine subscription for DD for her birthday when I should have used my own money because he hadn't agreed to it.
• not helping more when we moved house 13 years ago
• buying an ugly painting and hanging it in the hallway.
• taking DS1 ( his stepchild) to university open days without consulting him and filling his head with fanciful ideas.
• when I was studying for my NVQ 3 at work I didnt listen to his advice (despite the fact he n is nothing about Health and Social Care).

He does this often, goes on long rants about odd stuff to deflect, but this is the best it's ever been. Some of these things must have been eating at him for years.

But it certainly cheered me up a little. Anyone else have little gems of behaviour like this?

Is dd not old enough to communicate with him herself, so you don’t have to? He sounds like a right idiot.

We need to see this ugly painting!

I think I’d slightly amend Frazzled’s response and go for “So does that mean you won’t be calling DD then?”

Just ignore, whatever you reply will be an invitation for him to carry on communicating this crap.

If there’s no mention of your daughter and calling I’d ignore it and file it away for later.

Otherwise, as others have said, only respond to anything related directly to contacting your daughter.

I can’t judge until I see the ugly painting, sorry. Two sides to every story and this might swing it .

I wonder why you filed for divorce? He sounds like a right charmer.
Not.
I am curious about the painting. Just how ugly is it?

I was taken to family court by a ex partner just like this.

Your Ex is the same and they are control freaks.

The top and bottom of it is your ex (if they have parental responsibility) can find out and get involved with of the health and educational things and it is NOT your duty to inform them.
My ex got a ticking off from 2 judges for trying to deflect such things on me saying I hadn't told him or informed him. It was basically lazy parenting on his part and any excuse to HAVE A GO at me and that being reiterated by 2 Judges made me feel so much better.

Keep your chin up and do not let it grind you down

I’d be so tempted to send back a list of ridiculous and made up complaints.

You ate the last Rolo
You never dressed like the milk tray man to give me chocolates
You didn’t like the jumper I bought you for Christmas, 2005
Your left nostril is bigger than your right, but you wouldn’t get it sorted
You snored
In 2014 you farted in the kitchen while I was having breakfast.

But I’m childish 😁

This is brilliantly funny op. I particularly like the complaint that you didn't listen to him 're academic study that he knew nothing about.

So that list isn’t even the complete one, TravellingSpoon! I think we can all see why he is STBX.

I like the ugly painting accusation the best but seriously he should not need reminding to phone your daughter.

Windyatthebeach That whole situation must have been really dreadful. Thank goodness you are out of it and your DH is so different.

not helping more when we moved house 13 years ago not sure which is best, that or the ugly painting
Brilliant!

My last email from XH was only telling me how money grabbing I was for asking for help in his dcs extra curricular activities for once. I feel quite let down down now that I didnt get a list though I am sure the tit has one

@T0tallyFuckedUpFamily yes!!!

Sounds like my exes response to our divorce yes i was arrested but that's no need to throw it in my face I need to "get over" him being engaged to someone else the gem was he said he doesnt think he should pay towards the divorce as the pays £6.87 a week out of his universal credit in child support the judge ordered him to pay towards the divorce 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Could you say “ ok then. I will tell DD that you won’t call her to chat because I bought an ugly painting 15 years ago and you still have not recovered from the trauma”.

👀

So are these things he argued about at the time, or is this the first you're hearing?

@Windyatthebeach why Windy why? So mean. He should have been changing your tampon!

op Exactly frazzledasarock said. Then PS: I have now moved that picture to the bedroom. Thanks

Windyatthebeach

WTF my jaw dropped open reading that, no wonder you got rid of him.

These are bat shit crazy but brilliant reading.

OP you really are going to have to put a picture up of the offending painting.

My ex-husband has just emailed the family court in relation to an application he has made to enforce an order that HE breached. He told them that it was because I was insanely jealous that he and OW are getting married (after 7 years I might add). I couldn't be more delighted for them actually, they are far better suited than we ever were. Can't wait to see how this one pans out

My abusive now exh told me our relationship was never a close one as I never involved him in my periods or let him change a tampo

Aside from the obvious pervert alert there, I think we have the same ex. I have been told the exact same thing by a long ago ex.

The ugly painting is one that DS2 did at school that they framed and made me buy at a PTA sale. It's quite good to say it's been done by a 7 year old.

I am.not going to relpy, it makes him more cross when I dont. I will just giggle every time I go passed the painting in the hall.

The only thing we have argued about or has been mentioned in the past is the vitamins because I didnt consult him, and the moving house. I didnt help as I was recovering from a Csection and a 2 week old baby. I did as much as I could but he pushed ahead with the move.

The tampon thing is crazy @Windyatthebeach. Some people are beyond strange, it's a bit creepy really.

@Hedgehog26

I wonder if you know my STBXH, he wont use the T word, the P word or discuss it in any way. Apparently he knows they happen but he doesnt need to know more than that. Towards the end of our marriage I was (am) peri and had the odd flood. So I didnt tell him as he obviously didnt need to know. Apparently it was VU of me to not to as he then had to see the sheet on the bathroom floor before I washed it, oh yes and I should have hidden it. I may or may not have left it there on purpose.

Can you put the ugly picture as your Whatsapp status so he keeps having to see it?

Oh yes! Use it as your avatar/status on EVERYTHING :o

I do agree with replying "So you're not ringing DD then?" because it ignores everything he said but bats right back at him with the very thing he is trying to avoid.