STBXH thinks I am unreasonable for the following odd reasons.

[TravellingSpoon]

So last night my STBXH sent me a very long email, brought about by me pissing him off by suggesting he could call DD if he doesnt want to come over and see her, as she is very upset about the lockdown and not going to school etc. So the email is deflection from that. He lists some of my 'unreasonable behaviour' during out nearly 20 years together. These include:

• regularly going out with a friend for dinner and not inviting our family. Apparently this is weird behaviour.
• starting DS on a dietician recommended vitamin programme without consulting him.
• using family money to but a magazine subscription for DD for her birthday when I should have used my own money because he hadn't agreed to it.
• not helping more when we moved house 13 years ago
• buying an ugly painting and hanging it in the hallway.
• taking DS1 ( his stepchild) to university open days without consulting him and filling his head with fanciful ideas.
• when I was studying for my NVQ 3 at work I didnt listen to his advice (despite the fact he n is nothing about Health and Social Care).

He does this often, goes on long rants about odd stuff to deflect, but this is the best it's ever been. Some of these things must have been eating at him for years.

But it certainly cheered me up a little. Anyone else have little gems of behaviour like this?

I would make that ugly painting the bane of his life...do what others have said in making it your avatar, profile picture, anywhere on any social media, text, WhatsApp-type things. I would also #UglyPainting every opportunity I got including having it as a header and/or footer for any posts he is likely to see, e-mails he gets from you or his children. I would make every birthday, Christmas, Father's Day gift some image of or representation of said ugly painting e.g. a nice cushion cover, a mug, a throw, a car air freshener, a tile with mosaic version as a hotplate for his kitchen, a beach towel, ornaments for his Xmas tree, doormat so he sees it every time he enters or leaves the house. I'd have stationery printed with it on the paper & envelopes so any time his kid(s) wrote to him he'd see it. In fact, I'd be childish enough to have it made into a family coat of arms or motto thing. I'm sure others that are more creative than me would be able to add great ideas to this list. Maybe I'm just a bit bored and have had some petty ex-excuses to deal with so know how frustrating it can be...maybe the better advice was to ignore the twat!

Some of these are absolutely hilarious and frankly astonishing - though despite the comic value, we cannot ignore the level of bat-shit-crazy displayed here either (one or two of your shares are horrific).

I would however, like to add one of my own and one from a dear friend.

An (absolutely psychotic) Ex of mine once explained his cheating behaviour by blaming my anatomical form...apparently my clit was too small for him.

My friends Ex hubby accused her of ‘ruining the karma’ of one of his frying pans, because she cooked bacon in it.

Tell him that’s not a painting, it’s a mirror.

I’m sure he is being majorly petty (I can’t imagine a magazine subscription is exactly big bucks!) but it’s more that you haven’t involved him in things.
I involve my ex as much as I can in decisions for our DD, including discussing presents, and we’ve been apart 8 years. It’s not to ask permission but to keep him involved. In my experience when people feel left out and ignored they get real petty.

@Loreleigh & @DustyMaiden - you win the internets today!!! 👏👏👏🏆🥇🏆👏👏👏

Please if you use gmail or similar just change your profile picture to the painting - then just send.
“Thank you for your feedback.”

Or fully go down that route “we are sorry to hear that you’ve been unhappy with our service. However we can only deal with issue which are raised within 3 months of said issue occurring. Therefore I’m afraid that we cannot go any further with this complain” etc etc

sounds like my abusive ex and his random complaints about me - im anti social, he hates that I talk to people everywhere we go, he hates it when I interfere and try to help, hates it when I don't help, I always say the wrong thing, I don't ever speak... I've got fat, I wont eat the donut he bought me...Im withholding his right to feed our baby by breast feeding despite the fact she wouldn't take a bottle and was allergic to formula and yes, he still fed it to her behind my back.

Just sad little men having a pathetic toddler tantrum.

An old light bulb blew and my ex angrily said that it was because of my bad energy.

Bad energy 🤣

These have given me a much needed laugh. Thank you, everyone

You're probably not allowed, but I'd be soooo tempted to cut & paste all of this thread and send it to him ... then do as frazzledasarock says and ask when he's going to make contact.

ButtonandPickle19
Which bit about him not seeing his daughter since February his choice and the OP having to ask him to call his own daughter because she's upset about lock down and he hasn't bothered, is the OP not involving him?

PooPoo that's hilarious

I wish I had superpowers like that!

Ugly painting in hall

Bloody hell OP! Did you also eat the last digestive once 16 years ago?If these are the worst he can come up with over 20 years you must have been the model wife.

I think I do aggressive microwaving.....!

Apparently I should turn it back up to full after I have used the 'defrost' or 'medium' settings, as DH doesn't notice and his food comes out cold! My view is that there are lots of settings, you can't assume where it will be and should always check. But he think IABU for not returning it to the only setting he ever uses......

Sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet there! He sounds spectacularly petty!

Whilst I'm truly sorry for anyone of you who have had an abusive relationship, some of these had me howling. Aggresive microwaving, Ugly painting avatars and gifts, this thread is solid gold.

I also now feel better about my own ridiculous and controlling ex-fiance. Apparently, I was deficient as I didn't want to cut his toenails, refused to try fishing and insisted on making dinners where the veg touched the beans out of spite, pure spite I tell you!

I feel for Mrs Knobhead 2.5, I really do. I suspect the poor cow is locked in the shed with his modelling kits while he's at work in case she does a midday bunk as I did.

My ex put on a film late at night and was FURIOUS with me for falling asleep, especially as it meant I couldn't tell him if the characters had disarmed the nuclear weapon "correctly" or not (I have a physics degree... but for some reason we didn't cover disarming bombs...).