STBXH thinks I am unreasonable for the following odd reasons.

[TravellingSpoon]

So last night my STBXH sent me a very long email, brought about by me pissing him off by suggesting he could call DD if he doesnt want to come over and see her, as she is very upset about the lockdown and not going to school etc. So the email is deflection from that. He lists some of my 'unreasonable behaviour' during out nearly 20 years together. These include:

• regularly going out with a friend for dinner and not inviting our family. Apparently this is weird behaviour.
• starting DS on a dietician recommended vitamin programme without consulting him.
• using family money to but a magazine subscription for DD for her birthday when I should have used my own money because he hadn't agreed to it.
• not helping more when we moved house 13 years ago
• buying an ugly painting and hanging it in the hallway.
• taking DS1 ( his stepchild) to university open days without consulting him and filling his head with fanciful ideas.
• when I was studying for my NVQ 3 at work I didnt listen to his advice (despite the fact he n is nothing about Health and Social Care).

He does this often, goes on long rants about odd stuff to deflect, but this is the best it's ever been. Some of these things must have been eating at him for years.

But it certainly cheered me up a little. Anyone else have little gems of behaviour like this?

1st ex (father of my 2dc)
I breastfed so he couldn't bond with them properly - he wanted me to breastfeed at the time and I offered many many times to express, actually did Express sometimes. The milk sat in the fridge until I binned it.

I 'made' ds1 be a vegetarian to make his (exes) life difficult. I'm not veggie either so it also makes my life more difficult

I don't cook a weekly sunday roast. Apparently this is the mark of a proper mum. Like his wife.

I didn't like his 'collection' of Jack Daniel's packaging. Yes I mean the cardboard boxes that glasses and such like came in.

2nd (abusive ex)
I wouldn't go and sit in the bathroom with him while he had a shit

I didn't want to wear his old manky football shirts. Apparently this is very romantic and what 'good girlfriends don't

I didn't spend time learning who wrote/composed/directed his favourite films/soundtracks. When I asked him to learn to composed and choreographed my favourite ballets he couldn't see why he should. I was working full time, running a house, raising 2 dc and studying things relevant to my job. He lived on his mums sofa and made YouTube videos. Yet I was unreasonable for not making the time to learn such pointless shit.

And he pulled the put some stitches in anyway gag...

Ew, @Windyatthebeach that's just vile!

I bet midwives really have to bite their tongue sometimes.

Its bit exactly a permanent change to the house, it's a small framed picture that I chose to hang up. It's been there about 6 years now as DS has just turned 13 and he did it in his final year at primary which was when he was in year 2. DS2 is his son, so basically he is saying the picture his DS made is ugly.

He has always been petty but our separation has brought it out even more. I am sure his new GF will find it very attractive.

Um - putting a picture up on the wall isn't exactly a "permanent change". Plus the fact it was done by the dd in the first place...

One, not mine but a friends, STBXH told her his solicitor had told him that her new boyfriend had to pay for all costs of the divorce including the STBHX. The fact she didn't HAVE a BF made that one particularly delicious to us. Then again, this was the man that thought his (then) wife being exhausted & looking flushed after commuting home from a long day at work by train in boiling temperatures was proof she had been shagging all day.

Oh yes, I am vegetarian and so is DD, she has been for around 5 years now. This is my fault and is something that reflects poorly on him because he thinks that DD judges him for wating animals.

*eating

That was aimed at 73Sunglasslover, and I said dd rather than ds. Apologies for that

Brilliant thread here, I'm enjoying it even though I shouldn't join in as no ex.
I always consult my DH about decor, and do you know he has never, not once, disagreed with any suggestion I make, although to be fair if he really doesn't like the idea I'm not going to insist.

My ex doesn't even think DS is judging him. It's more that it's so hard to have to make a different food. So they don't. If the menu is sausage and mash, ds1 gets just mash. If they are having ham sandwiches for lunch ds gets bread and butter . Hes always hungry when he comes home from his dads so I cook for him even though he should be eating there. (That's a whole other issue though and definitely not lighthearted)

These are mostly hilarious. Please OP do what PPs have suggested and photo or facetime from in front of the ugly picture, magazines and vitamins on show

I'm surprised there are so many people who'd be happy for their OH to make a permanent change to the decor in the house without thinking about it together first

How is a moveable picture 'a permanent change'? It's not like she let the kids paint a mural

Are you Mary Poppins, OP? Because if that list is literally ALL your STBXH can muster by way of complaint, you must be 'practically perfect in every way'! I'd tell him that. 😉

Omg what type of man uses his child's picture in this way. It's so sad but hilarious too!

I would reply with ‘ok cool. When you calling Dd?’

I keep rereading “I didn’t like his collection of ‘Jack Daniels’ packaging” with a mixture of hilarity and incredulity.

Can you print his email off, enlarge it then frame and hang it next to the ugly picture. Then take a photo and use as your WhatsApp pic.

How very dare you buy a butt ugly painting and hang it in the living room

OMG some of these are unbelievably pathetic. Reminds me of the 6 page document DD2 created listing her sister's misdemeamours, complete with illustrations, entitled "Things Amy's Done Mean To Me". My DDs are adults now and we still occasionally bring out the booklet for a laugh.

@HighNetGirth honestly its almost unbelievable! It displayed it all on top of the kitchen cupboards so it got greasy and dusty and of course couldn't be cleaned because it was cardboard
I laugh about it now but it caused a lot of arguments at the time!

Could you take a photo of the ugly painting and then get it made into numerous gifts for him? Key ring for his next house? Cushion cover as a housewarming gift? You could have a lot of fun with The Ugly painting.

Maybe we could get Ugly Painting trending on social media? Within a week there'd be t-shirts on Redbubble and everything

A small, framed piece of art by your own child is now 'a permanent change to the decor'? OK.

What an arse!
You should reply
it is very sad to read you talk that way about something your child drew.
Anyway, when do you plan to phone your daughter?

microwaving aggressively oh this is the best thread

@travellingspoon, sorry - my post may have seemed like I am taking your situation lightly - Im not as I have a ridiculous Ex too, and the stress they cause .... But some of these are just unbelievable!