STBXH thinks I am unreasonable for the following odd reasons.

[TravellingSpoon]

So last night my STBXH sent me a very long email, brought about by me pissing him off by suggesting he could call DD if he doesnt want to come over and see her, as she is very upset about the lockdown and not going to school etc. So the email is deflection from that. He lists some of my 'unreasonable behaviour' during out nearly 20 years together. These include:

• regularly going out with a friend for dinner and not inviting our family. Apparently this is weird behaviour.
• starting DS on a dietician recommended vitamin programme without consulting him.
• using family money to but a magazine subscription for DD for her birthday when I should have used my own money because he hadn't agreed to it.
• not helping more when we moved house 13 years ago
• buying an ugly painting and hanging it in the hallway.
• taking DS1 ( his stepchild) to university open days without consulting him and filling his head with fanciful ideas.
• when I was studying for my NVQ 3 at work I didnt listen to his advice (despite the fact he n is nothing about Health and Social Care).

He does this often, goes on long rants about odd stuff to deflect, but this is the best it's ever been. Some of these things must have been eating at him for years.

But it certainly cheered me up a little. Anyone else have little gems of behaviour like this?

I really can’t think why you and him split up?! Bet you’re full of regret! How old is this man? 10? You are well rid. That’s a very funny list.

Yeah.
After ignoring all that for few years he nearly stopped. Ignoring meant 'no response' whatsoever, like if I didn't receive that text or email. Can't block him as we have children together.
All his complaints can sum to 'you horrible woman, you don't think I am a God!'.

@CrazyTimesAreOccurring. Dont worry, it is hilarious

How do you microwave aggressively?

Brilliant thread 😂

I once accidentally set fire to a pizza in the microwave. Does that count as aggressive microwaving or would I have had to ignite it on purpose?

@aWeaponCalledtheWord What an absolute piece of shit. You're well rid

Re: Aggressive Microwaving

Perhaps its because you shouted "Useless wanker" and other such when cooking and he thought you were talking about the microwave.

Among the list of crimes and misdemeanours listed in my ex's divorce petitiont was the fact that I didn't like his family.

Part of me wanted to defend the divorce, just for the pleasure of admitting that I didn't like his family but disputing that this was in any way unreasonable behaviour.

All bar one were vile and most of them were batshit into the bargain.

@TravellingSpoon, oh the deflection! When you get to know these wonderful specimens of manhood, it becomes almost a game to figure out the actual reason behind their weird outbursts. A few weekends ago my stbxh came one morning to pick up the kids for the day. He was absolutely vile and confrontational to me from the moment he came in the door. One of his gripes was that the little ones weren't ready (he had arrived 10 minutes early). When I pointed out that he was early, he said that didn't matter because they wouldn't have been ready on time anyway (-must borrow his crystal ball someday-). Later that day I discovered his planned trip away with new gf had been cancelled, which was clearly what made it ok to use me as an emotional punch bag.

Sometimes they really should think things through. Mine once said in an anguished self-pitying voice about our relationship "I haven't done anything WRONG". This after a letter he gave me less than 2 weeks earlier which told in great detail everything he had done wrong (he missed a whole bunch of stuff I might add)

The only improvement to @frazzledasarock suggestion of “when will you be calling your daughter” would be the word “yes”

As in

“Yes. When will you be calling your daughter”

The “yes” will confuse and irritate him in equal measures

Ha yes what @PegasusReturns said! 🤣

Please what does STBXH mean???

Soon To Be eX Husband.

Soon To Be Ex Husband

I have an ex who is similar, just so "mememe".

The ugly painting one is hysterical!! The whole thing is like a 13year old girls list! I'd get facetious & reply: 'they're funny, send more!'

I used to be confused by STBXH; I thought it meant STupid Bastard eX Husband.

Though if I'd used it correctly, I would have been saying it for 8 years (which isn't really "soon"), as that's how long it took to get divorced (due to said stupid bastard being as obstructive as possible).

Ah thanks for the explanation of STBXH. I have one of those

I think putting it on the fridge is different as it's not a permanent change.

Did you know, you can put pictures up, and you can also take them down?

Radical.

I wondered if aggressive microwaving might be starting up the microwave every time someone tried to speak...
"But you-VROOOOM" "Let me sp-VROOOOM" "Wait-VROOOM" and so on.

Ooo. Aggressive blending. Aggressive coffee bean grinding. The list could be much longer...

Thank you for the laugh OP.

This reminded me of the thread where somebody’s DB/ BIL? came to stay and had complaints about everything. They were just so ridiculous it was hilarious.

He could be the gift that keeps on giving..

Some of the examples on this thread are brilliant.

The only one my ex kept chucking at me after we split (he left me and our kids without any warning) was that I was a spendthrift because we got orange juice and cranberry juice delivered with the milk. He felt that was OTT and we should just have got milk and orange juice. Despite the fact I’m allergic to orange juice.

He did once complain that I agreed with a change in medication for DD2 without speaking to him first. She’d waited 9 months for the appointment, had missed numerous days of school and she was seeing one of the top specialists for her condition. He apologised as soon as I pointed out he’d had 6 months notice or the appointment and could have come if he was so bothered

Oh my goodness, @TravellingSpoon - I think you can tell STBEX that eating animals is NOT why your DD judges him. (Not only why, anyway...)