Am I in the wrong here regarding slapping?

[Turniptracker]

Prepared to be told I am.
I was getting ready today and my partner doesn't have work today so is lying in bed. I have been enjoying just wearing comfy leggings while home (unsure if this is remotely relevant). As I am talking to him he takes it upon himself to smack me on the ass. I know some people like this, but I actually really hate it, I've never found it sexy or appealing and it stung. So I turned round and slapped him on the arm. He looked so taken aback. And I said why should you be able to just hit me with no reaction?
He is now in an absolute upset strop. I'm so sick of slapping on the ass being seen as absolutely acceptable hitting but anything else is despicable.

but I actually really hate it, I've never found it sexy or appealing and it stung.

Have you told him this before and he kept doing it?

Oh stop being so dramatic 🙄 he didn’t hit you. If you don’t like it then ask him not to do again.

It's more about intent than anything.
If you've told him that you dislike it before, he is being unreasonable but you're also being unreasonable.
You've responded to an act that is meant to be a crude expression of appreciation with physical violence intended to punish, which really has no place in a relationship.

Serves him bloody right, keep his mitts to himself.

My ex used to do this when I was doing things like loading the dishwasher or serving up food. Used to fuck me off something rotten and one of these I left is because I realised he thinks he has a god given right to do whatever he wants to my body, thinks it belongs to him. Used to make me feel sick

YANBU at all. Copping a cheeky feel in passing is one thing (if you have that kind of relationship and find it mutually playful), but actual hitting is totally unacceptable. Why ever would you do that? I've never understood the idea that striking a blow to somebody could somehow be construed as a sign of affection.

There's a lot of weird thinking about slapping in general - almost as if it can never really be bad, because you have an open hand instead of a clenched fist. Just why?

herpes
Which bit of 'smacked me on the ass' did you not understand?
He hit her FFS.

Oh stop being so dramatic 🙄 he didn’t hit you. If you don’t like it then ask him not to do again.

What part of deliberately striking somebody's body with your hand doesn't constitute hitting them? Can I go around punching or kicking people at random, safe in the knowledge that they would let me know if, for some bizarre reason, they don't want me to do it?

Its about the intention. If he thought it was playful Op needed to tell him she didnt like it and to stop it. She didnt need to hit him back,

x-posted.

Oh stop being so dramatic 🙄 he didn’t hit you. If you don’t like it then ask him not to do again

FFS.

Have you made it clear previously you don’t want to be slapped on the arse?

My partner does this to me and not lightly. When I ask him to stop he doesn't listen.

@Herpesfreesince03
He did hit her, stop being so unpleasant and dismissive of a woman being slapped.
Op I would have done exactly the same, just ignore his strop

I didn’t read that as a concern that ‘he hit you’ but more the fact he thinks he has the right to smack your ass whenever he feels like it. I personally absolutely HATE when my husband slaps my ass, grabs my bum, squeezes a boob 🤮 it’s not a turn on, I’m not a piece of meat. God I hate it, so if that’s what you mean. I get it.

Oh stop being so dramatic 🙄 he didn’t hit you. If you don’t like it then ask him not to do again

YABU

Yes I've told him many many times I don't like it, he is being playful but I guess this is the one that broke the camel's back and I saw red? Just because someone else thinks it's ok to do it, if you don't personally then why should they have the right to keep doing it? I wouldn't mind a cheeky squeeze, but not hitting

Yanbu.

Oh stop being so dramatic 🙄 he didn’t hit you. If you don’t like it then ask him not to do again.

Stop excusing abusive behaviour, the op has told her dp she doesn't like it and he still does it

He’s a nob for doing it but SULKING because you slapped him back is ridiculous.

YADNBU, especially as you’ve told him before that you don’t like it. I hope he stops. Can’t believe he’s in a strop! I feel for you, because it sounds like he doesn’t see it from your perspective at all

@Changedname78 I absolutely agree with that. And it's fine if people like it but if you don't then that should be respected.

Yes I've told him many many times I don't like it, he is being playful but I guess this is the one that broke the camel's back and I saw red?

Then it's not ok and YANBU.

He's persistently and knowingly doing something he knows you don't like. Just because it can be seen as a symbol of appreciate (What the actual fuck?!?) once you told him you don't like it he has to stop.

His right to "appreciate " isn't more important than your right to bodily autonomy and to not be hit (and sometimes hurt since you say it stung).

He's sulking because you drew a clear line in the sand.

Given you have previously told him that you dont like it then yanbu.

Nosauce
Why should the op make it clear that she doesn't want to be slapped on the arse?
Should she have listed all the things that she doesn't want to be done to her body?