To be furious with my parents

[SamsMumsCateracts]

They are in their sixties, DDad has a health condition, and they are just not following guidelines. They keep popping out, together and independently for completely unnecessary things from the shops, think gardening items, sweets, magazines etc. These are two intelligent, educated people, who fully understand and use the internet, so they don't need to pop out for a Take a Break etc.

My DM has also been going to visit my 92 year old a great Aunt who barely made it through the last year health wise.

They keep insisting that I pop the kids in the car and drive to theirs to exchange Easter and birthday gifts for the DC, then get angry when I try to explain why we won't be doing that, as apparently all their friends are doing it, "it's only one little trip, it won't matter", etc.

I'm fed up of being made out to be paranoid and neurotic, when I'm just trying to keep us all safe.

Anyone else feel like their parents just don't get it?

My parents (83 & 84) wind me up for the opposite reason - the govt says no, so they don't go anywhere.

Mum walks up and down the drive 40 times to get her daily mile in. My Dad does the gardening.

But they are v lucky as my middle sister lives with them so she and my other sister (who lives 15 mins walk away) do all their shopping. They have their papers delivered even though the shops are only 100 yards away & they don't pop out at all.

Tell them quite baldly that you don't want them to die a painful death alone, without access to a ventilator because someone else has been prioritised over them.

Or even worse, that they get the ventilator over someone else who dies because of their recklessness.

My elderly father is demented, wandering around knocking on doors, falling over, banging on my door ten times plus a day. He has carers going in who don't appear to change their PPE. He is going into local shop and take away numerous times a day. He is 89, blind and deaf and talking to imaginary people. WSCC don't give a fig and said "he can't be taken into residential because he could catch Covid-19" I'm more concerned he will pass it to younger people with families. He's not selfish, and if he were sane he would put others before him.

My Mum hasn't left the house in nearly 4 weeks, my Dad was popping out regularly, shopping etc the first week or so until he got a personal video message from an old friend of his who is a consultant and told him not to go out and to get his son to do the shopping. He's not been further than his front driveway since as far as I know. I've been doing their shopping.

My elderly father is demented, wandering around knocking on doors, falling over, banging on my door ten times plus a day. He has carers going in who don't appear to change their PPE. He is going into local shop and take away numerous times a day. He is 89, blind and deaf and talking to imaginary people. WSCC don't give a fig and said "he can't be taken into residential because he could catch Covid-19" I'm more concerned he will pass it to younger people with families. He's not selfish, and if he were sane he would put others before him.

I am so sorry to hear about your father, it must be incredibly difficult for you worrying about him putting others at risk as well as worying about him

I can relate to your situation because of my neighbours who are elderly and many are non-compliant with the rules

While there are selfish, foolish, reckelss people ignoring the rules because, for example, they feel their own need to sunbathe or occupy a park bench for hours is more important that other people's health and lives, there are a significant minority of people who because of learning disabilities, addictions, serious ongoing mental health problems, dementia and other cognitive problems refuse to comply and simply fail to grasp the consequences of their actions.

My upstairs neighbour, who I think if affectionately as Coughy Mc Cough Face, is in this category. I have no idea whether she has the virus. She may have simply been stricken with a continual dry cough unrelated to the virus. She coughs all the time, occasionally goes outside and, if she does have the virus, is likely to have infected many people in her community.

She used to have a dog that she sometimes did not clean up after, but always denied it. She occasionally left her dog alone in her flat for hours barking. She always denied that it was her dog and accused other tenants with dogs. She is not a bad person, just someone with a low IQ, a significant learning disability and a low mental age.

I can forsee this category of people presenting particular problems and challenges to law enforcement, the NHS and other statutory bodies as the pandemic progresses

My Dad is 75, asthmatic and was himself in ICU 10 years ago. He is generally isolating, but takes his friend/ partner to Aldi, Farmfoods Etc one a week because she doesn’t drive. My sister lives round the corner and could do the online shop for him but he says he was born in ww2 and has lived through 2 flu epidemics and doesn’t seem this as any different. We’ve just got social media and the internet now! When I have been shopping, I have commented to my husband that it seems to be the 60+ people who are not obeying the 2m rule. My husband went yesterday for a big shop and said loads of people had just small trolleys, getting a few bits.

There’s nothing in the guidance to say you can’t do a small shop. Preppers will only do small ones. My big shop, which will last at least a week, fitted in a small trolley yesterday. And the only people ignoring the two metre rule were a couple in their early 20s.

I can see why some older people are blase about it. This could go on for years and some may feel they don't have many years left either way. Pps have mentioned that dying of covid is horrible and that's true, but so are most deaths, eg, dying of cancer, dementia, a terrible accident. And as for taking the hospital bed of a young person - well if that young person had isolated they wouldn't have needed the bed. I'm not saying I agree but you can see the thought process.

As for it being selfish. Every human alive is extremely selfish - just check the amount of toilet paper left on the shelves, animals left in the wild or the amount of tax billionaires pay. All those numbers are approaching zero because of selfish humans of every age.

Some young people are doing risky jobs! They may be put at risk by others!

@Iapun34, that is really interesting to know your situation. Sounds like you are taking sensible precautions.