To be furious with my parents

[SamsMumsCateracts]

They are in their sixties, DDad has a health condition, and they are just not following guidelines. They keep popping out, together and independently for completely unnecessary things from the shops, think gardening items, sweets, magazines etc. These are two intelligent, educated people, who fully understand and use the internet, so they don't need to pop out for a Take a Break etc.

My DM has also been going to visit my 92 year old a great Aunt who barely made it through the last year health wise.

They keep insisting that I pop the kids in the car and drive to theirs to exchange Easter and birthday gifts for the DC, then get angry when I try to explain why we won't be doing that, as apparently all their friends are doing it, "it's only one little trip, it won't matter", etc.

I'm fed up of being made out to be paranoid and neurotic, when I'm just trying to keep us all safe.

Anyone else feel like their parents just don't get it?

I am on your side. In work people keep spending time chatting less than 2 metres apart. I am the bad guy as Im constantly shouting keep your distance. Why isnt the message getting through to people - its really not that difficult

Maybe they just want to enjoy their lives and believe karma will take them when it’s time? I think the older you get the less comfortable you feel being under house arrest and the more you feel that the cure is worse than the disease.

I have a close friend of my parents (called auntie etc) who behaved like this - only saw the grandkids etc... she’s in ICU. She’s an incredible woman and I hope to god she gets through this but it isn’t looking good. My parents had wake up call that’s for sure!!

My parents doing the same op my dad has a host of underlying issues too. I am trying not to think about it!

Yep. I rang my dad in UK yesterday and I remarked on how UK restrictions are tougher than here. He was like nah, you can still go out. He's been going out 3 times a day, to get stuff for his garden and to see his equally old friends.

His big news was that the cleaning lady from the school has been leaving him a leftover bag lunch from the free-school meals students by hanging it on his garden fence. It borders the school. Well yesterday, he was at his friend's house and by the time he got back home a cat had had a go at the bag lunch and eaten the luncheon meat out of the sandwich and also the apple was not to his liking. I just made mmm... okay.. yeah sounds. What can you do with this level of silly?

@BubblesBuddy but why should we risk more people getting infected because you like bananas and fresh bread? Seeing popping out for those a couple of times a week as a justifiable priority is... bananas

It's not just older people. Some of my 19 year olds friends have gone back to uni halls and I know he wants to go too. I have told him that if he goes he can't come back, his brother is classified as extremely vulnerable. I wish I knew what to say to him that really gets the message across.

My dad is on chemo and rang me the other day laughing that they sneaked to b&q 🤦‍♀️.
My Mum has been going to sainsbury's more than usual too.
I was at work the other day and another carer was bragging about the runs she had done that weekend, one 46 miles and another at 55 miles. Yes probably social distancing but not exactly local!

Unfortunately, in my experience, the kids aren't in, the teenagers aren't in, those who are 20-50 tend to do a proper shop when they are... it really is the "elderly" crowd who aren't complying
So 51 is ‘elderly’?

From the, hopeful, safety of my window it seems all ages are being pretty sensible here but my MIL has taken isolation hard. Weirdly (or maybe not) it has been the address from The Queen which has changed her attitude from ‘I will be fine‘ to realising that, by staying in, she will actually be able to contribute to the national good and it is not just about her.

@Flamingle18 Unless your Carer friend is iron man she didn’t run over 100 miles in a weekend

I am of the older generation but I’m the opposite to many of the parents here.
I have been out once in three weeks and that was before lockdown.
What i keep telling people is “this life is not a rehearsal” you only get one chance at it. I wish everyone would realise this.

Sorry for the rant.

Not my parents no, they've both got underlying health conditions and have been isolating for the last 3-4 weeks BUT I'm absolutely hoping mad as I've just found out one of my DSD is dropping her DD (our GD) to her sisters!?

Worse, said sister is apparently unwell and complaining of feeling SOB.

Angry doesn't BEGIN to cover it. I'm F. FURIOUS.

@Fedupwithex I was thinking it sounded very excessive 😁. She was walking fine too, I'd be crawling the next day even after 5 miles 😂

My mum is nearly 80 and has high blood pressure but doesn’t see why she needs to self-isolate!

What’s worse is that my son and I are both high risk (for many reasons each), and have been isolating for 3 weeks now. But each time mum FaceTimes us, she asks if we’ve “been out for a nice walk on the Common” or “popped to the shops at all”?!

Drives me mad! I’m going insane staying in and she acts like I’m being ridiculous for doing it! So stupid and insensitive!

My dad keeps nipping out too. I've not him not too - my sister and I have offered to do any shopping he needs (he has taken us up on this offer a few times but sometimes will go to the shops and lie about it). He went a drive a few days ago for something to do and told us not to treat him like a child when we told him he shouldn't be driving. He has underlying health conditions but it's like he wants to to out because he's been told he can't. My mil also informed us that she was popping over at the weekend to drop off easter stuff... wasnt too happy with it so told my husband to not let her in the house and we would go out and chat to her from the back garden (keeping a big distance from us) she brought us over easter stuff and despite my husband asking her to put the stuff on the ground and we would collect when she left she didnt and kept insisting we go get it from her as she 'hasn't been near anyone'... I was furious 😠

My PIL told us that they were going to Morrison's once a week on Wednesdays and topping up with bits from the Co-Op when they pop in each day to get their paper .

I said something at the time but could tell they didn't want to listen. In the end I just sent them a text telling they that they are loved and we'd like to keep them well but that I respected they could make their own decisions.

They told me they would take on advice and (afaik) are staying in.

Selfishly I couldn't bear to loose them - they are like parents to me and I want as many years with them as I can.

My parents in their mid-80s are the same, I think the problem is that people get set in their ways when they get old, and it's beyond them to adapt and say, Okay I can't get Weetabix so we'll make do with cornflakes. They can't think on the hoof and also won't stop economising and just buy the more expensive brand for once instead of trudging from one supermarket to the other several times a week. My dad also still walks to the local shop for his newspaper every day.

I have tested positive for Corona. I am very unwell. My lungs feel like they are on fire. I have a temp of 102. I rarely go out and must have caught it off my husband or at a medical appointment. I am at home with the agreement of the consultant only because I’m 2 minutes from hospital. If it worsens I must phone for an ambulance.

Anyone dicking about with the social rules to avoid CV is a fool. This illness is painful, exhausting and potentially deadly, where you drown in your own body fluids.

Just stay home.

Ask them if they'll be dying quietly at home without burdening the NHS in the event of them getting the virus and having a bad reaction?

Dm and DF are divorced. I have one who decided to SI weeks ago. The other takes trips to the local.shop every day and has just been entertaining someone with a cough and cold because "they wanted to get out of the house."

@Quetiapina sounds awful. I hope you get better soon 💐

@Quetiapina, get well soon. Hope you don’t get any worse.

For some elderly people it could be a calculated choice. After all if you are 85 for instance you know that ‘something is going to get you’ and may feel content that you’ve lived a full and happy life. In that situation enjoying the time you have left in whatever way you want - including going for walks, shopping, socialising - is not necessarily the wrong option.

If the current restrictions continue for a few months longer I think a lot of people of all ages will be weighing up choices and risks differently. At some point the desire to socialise, travel etc will outweigh the desire to minimise risk and so to isolate indefinitely.

My parents are like that, both are vulnerable but 'the chances of us getting it...' they then laugh at me when I get angry with them, I've told them it's not just them that could get it, they could carry it and kill someone but again they haven't listened, I'm very disappointed in them right now.

Definitely feel the older generation (not all) will be playing as big a part in the viral spread as the younger ones. Shedloads of them out shopping in our supermarket every day. In many cases quite evident underlying health conditions, in mobility scooters, obese, etc. Fair credit to them for wanting to keep their independence although in some cases wonder if they just really don't care if they get it, but it's the inability to see the bigger picture and how it affects the whole population that gets me riled.