To be furious with my parents

[SamsMumsCateracts]

They are in their sixties, DDad has a health condition, and they are just not following guidelines. They keep popping out, together and independently for completely unnecessary things from the shops, think gardening items, sweets, magazines etc. These are two intelligent, educated people, who fully understand and use the internet, so they don't need to pop out for a Take a Break etc.

My DM has also been going to visit my 92 year old a great Aunt who barely made it through the last year health wise.

They keep insisting that I pop the kids in the car and drive to theirs to exchange Easter and birthday gifts for the DC, then get angry when I try to explain why we won't be doing that, as apparently all their friends are doing it, "it's only one little trip, it won't matter", etc.

I'm fed up of being made out to be paranoid and neurotic, when I'm just trying to keep us all safe.

Anyone else feel like their parents just don't get it?

They may be of an age when they went through the 2nd World War. If Hitler didn't stop them getting sweets and a paper, I doubt CV will either!
No condoning it but I believe this is their mindset. Anyway, there are people much younger that seem to think it does not apply to them too!

The trouble is that everyone thinks they're special. The rules don't apply to them because "I need my exercise", "I miss my boyfriend", "I couldn't bear not to let my son play with his friend", "I have to do X because of my anxiety", "I've always done X on a Tuesday", "My child has SEN", "I'm lonely", "I'm a mother and won't see my adult child feeling sad", "But they're family", etc., etc., etc.

Unfortunately coronavirus doesn't think anyone is special and will happily infect all of us given the chance.

MIl and fil are in their mid 80s and haven't been out of the house since probably a couple of weeks before lock-down. They were terrified ever since Covid19 was first mentioned. Mind you, I've known them since they were in their 40s and they've been waiting for the grim reaper since then.
My only concern is that they may kill each other 😂

We had a family zoom chat at the weekend and people in their 80s,60s, 50s and 20s had been out against the guidelines so I dont think it applies to one age group.

DH works in a shop and is getting very frustrated with, what he says is exclusively older people who pitch up to the shop two or three times a day to pick up inconsequential crap, often in couples.

He says it's clear they are doing it as 'something to do'. Their routines haven't changed for them at all and they haven't seen the impact on jobs and livelihoods to want this to be over quickly. Several have got angry at him for 'rudeness' and being a 'silly boy' when he's asked them to step away from him.

Various shop workers have tried to tell them they have to reduce their visits as they are putting the shop workers at risk. It is roundly ignored. They are at their wits end and really struggling with the amount of them wandering aimlessly picking things up and chatting with other people like it's a social event. DH done at sleep he's that stressed out.

He says in the main anyone younger is sticking to the rules, coming in infrequently getting their stuff quickly and being thoughtful.

MIl and fil are in their mid 80s and haven't been out of the house since probably a couple of weeks before lock-down. They were terrified ever since Covid19 was first mentioned. Mind you, I've known them since they were in their 40s and they've been waiting for the grim reaper since then.
My only concern is that they may kill each other

Lol, I think this about my IL. For the last about 15 years they've been quite morbid "oh its no point us getting a nice expensive (insert item) as it's only got to last a few years "
Although they are a bit breezy about cv19, well if it's our time, then that's it.
Even our DC said imagine how much GPs will bicker if they cant go out!!

@tara66 As soon as I opened it I realised it was from him. I have not touched it or read it since! He believed he would not get the virus obviously and I hope all these letters are not infected. 10 Downing St. must be full of virus!

Do you seriously think that Boris Johnson or anybody in Downing Street has touched your letter? They will have been sent electronically to a mass mailing company to send out without ever having been anywhere near Downing Street.

As soon as I opened it I realised it was from him. I have not touched it or read it since! He believed he would not get the virus obviously and I hope all these letters are not infected. 10 Downing St. must be full of virus!

Bet you think the Queen licks the stamps on all those 100th birthday cards!

If you read the threads on MN during 'normal' times, you would see that more often than not it is recommended that you spend as little time with your DPs as possible and none at all with your inlaws. It should be all about your own little family. And god forbid a DP doesn't jump when you ask them to babysit, well if they dont do it when you ask you are not going to help when they need you. Maybe , just maybe these old idiots are fiercely independent because their offspring usually couldn't give two shits about how they get their milk exercise or anything else.

All these selfish older people had better give up their beds in ICU if a youngster needs it Older people won't have beds in ICU to give up. We're well aware that the advice means "there's no way you'll be treated so you'd better make sure you don't get it".

Won't engage with online shopping There's no point in engaging with on-line shopping - it's virtually impossible to get a delivery slot.

From my experience of retail in the pandemic, it's certainly the older crowd who just aren't listening. Barely any kids or teenagers in the shop. Middle aged adults coming in, but for a basket full of stuff/fuel, cigs and getting gas, electricity etc top ups- all at the same time. Fine. The older crowd? One paper. Two random reduced items that wouldn't even make a meal. One packet of biscuits. You get the jist.

Even worse, though, is a (granted, very) select few of them are pushing the boundaries in terms of social distancing and being careful. Paying in cash (I accept this can't be helped although it doesn't make it any more pleasant), not standing back, expecting you to count out handfuls of change, etc. The worst, though? When you're on one shift and the same person comes in at least 4 times that shift for one/two items at a time.

I'd have no issue in saying it how it is for any demographic. Unfortunately, in my experience, the kids aren't in, the teenagers aren't in, those who are 20-50 tend to do a proper shop when they are... it really is the "elderly" crowd who aren't complying.

However, luckily, my grandparents are staying at home. I just hope more adopt this attitude or, to put it bluntly, there will be a lot of deaths in the next week or two.

My 89 year old gran is driving me bonkers with this. Went to lidl after tea as she knew it would be quiet. Despite the fact that 3 of us have offered to shop for her. I have discussed the virus at least 8 times with her, from the harsher line to the more gentle approach inc telling her how my young 'uns are coping staying in.

In one ear and out of the other. I am at the end of my tether tbh.

My parents were doing this until I lost my patience and got really upset with them.

If they go into hospital I won't be able to see them as they live 3 hours away from me. So I need them to stay at home. Tey have apologised and are sticking to the guidelines now.

OP I feel your pain. My parents (mid 70's) have been surprisingly sensible for nearly 3 weeks and have stayed home as one has a health condition. Phoned today for their shopping list to be told that as one of them had a Doctor's appointment they decided to go shopping. And they were amazed that both weren't allowed in the supermarket together even though I had told them last week: one trolley one person! Very, very frustrating.

On the other hand my teenager has been a dream!

If they go into hospital I won't be able to see them as they live 3 hours away from me. So I need them to stay at home. Tey have apologised and are sticking to the guidelines now.

Even if you lived 3 minutes away you still might not be able to see them due to the contagious aspect.

My elderly upstairs neighbour who just had surgery and is on immunosuppressants is regularly visiting my downstairs neighbour and her kids, staying two meters apart apparently in their tiny hallway. She did a bit of a tinkly laugh thing when I pointed out how unwise this is and said that she can't stop him. Err, yes you can love, it's your flat, just don't let him in.

They don't seem to get that I don't want to have to walk through the communal entrance whilst they are all crammed in their chattering. The concept that we might be fine with the virus but that others won't and we risk spreading it beyond ourselves just isn't something that everyone can grasp. Morons.

27Deathraystare

They may be of an age when they went through the 2nd World War. If Hitler didn't stop them getting sweets and a paper, I doubt CV will either!
No condoning it but I believe this is their mindset. Anyway, there are people much younger that seem to think it does not apply to them too!

The Ops parents are in their 60s

My dad is late 70s, and is certainly taking it seriously. I've not seen him or DBro (who lives with him) for at least 3 weeks.

My DS is donig Dad's shopping, but they've got a system set up so that they keep to the social distancing rules. And we've been calling and chatting.

They don't seem to get that I don't want to have to walk through the communal entrance whilst they are all crammed in their chattering
I think I would wear a mask and gloves as you walk through to send a clear message

I got told not to treat them like children today

Point out that most children act more sensibly than they do.

Point out that most children act more sensibly than they do

That’ll go well.

So long as the younger ones that have been having picnics, sunbathing and barbecuing in the parks/beaches, plus the young families and couples that can’t possibly have just one person going to the shops, also give up their beds for the elderly people, then that’s fine.

Sure. In the instances on this thread, some older people are behaving in a stupid way, but it applies equally to anyone behaving stupidly - back of the queue.
It won't though.
I wish people would stop reading generalisations when there aren't any. Posters are talking about their experiences.

@WitsEnding

You know ageism goes both ways right? It's not OK to be ageist to older people but likewise it's really not OK to be ageist to younger adults either. Especially as they are the ones who will be the ones who will overwhelmingly pay the financial cost of this for the majority of their lives.

Also please sort out your misogyny. Your comment about that young lady was dripping in it. Not a good look at all.

Barely any kids or teenagers in the shop

Well isn't that about demographics? Teenagers and young adults get most of their social interaction by being with friends so they probably aren't in the shop. They are however out biking with their friends, going round to each others houses and hanging around in groups in the villages.

My mum and brother are hugely codependent. My brother has been showing symptoms for two weeks, and, unbeknownst to me, my mum has been walking round to his house every morning and sitting with him in his garden - while he's sick! She's in her 70s, as is my dad. Apparently it's fine because she sits 2m away from him. I'm so furious with the pair of them.