To be furious with my parents

[SamsMumsCateracts]

They are in their sixties, DDad has a health condition, and they are just not following guidelines. They keep popping out, together and independently for completely unnecessary things from the shops, think gardening items, sweets, magazines etc. These are two intelligent, educated people, who fully understand and use the internet, so they don't need to pop out for a Take a Break etc.

My DM has also been going to visit my 92 year old a great Aunt who barely made it through the last year health wise.

They keep insisting that I pop the kids in the car and drive to theirs to exchange Easter and birthday gifts for the DC, then get angry when I try to explain why we won't be doing that, as apparently all their friends are doing it, "it's only one little trip, it won't matter", etc.

I'm fed up of being made out to be paranoid and neurotic, when I'm just trying to keep us all safe.

Anyone else feel like their parents just don't get it?

I’m very proud of my parents. Both early 70s but with several worrying underlying conditions each including heart failure. Both so used to being in and out on short trips all the time - local shops, library, my house etc. I really thought they would be difficult and wouldn’t have taken it seriously enough but they have been fantastic.
Dh delivers everything they need to them. I know dad in particular finds it so hard especially not choosing his own shopping but they haven’t left the house. They are too frightened to.
I have so many neighbours not doing the right thing even with help offered and it just makes me feel so much better that they are staying in.

I don't know any of the older age group who are breaking any rules or not being careful.

All these packed beaches and parks - are they running fleets of coaches to take 'the elderly' there, as it seems to be 'the elderly' who get bashed on here every day.

My fifty year old-ish neighbour goes out twice a day with her dog and one of those is with her husband. So glad I didn't take up their DDs offer for help. I'm pretty sure you are only allowed out once a day. I've been in the house for 20 days and started another seven day isolation on Sunday.

This is my parents it is driving me and my sister up the wall, we have given up now.

My DP’s are both over 70 and with underlying health conditions, so they’ve been self isolating now for 3 weeks. I’ve been dropping them shopping off once a week on their doorstep. They’re not leaving the house at all, which I am glad of (luckily they do have a big garden so are often out there in the nice weather).

My elderly Aunts and Uncles are another story though - both my Uncles are over 80 and one of my Aunts is mid 70’s and has had the same cancer 3 times but they’re all going about their days as normal! 🙄😫 They don’t think they should be told what to do, so they’ll do what they please thank you very much! 🙄 Even if they all have underlying health conditions, they just don’t seem to think they’ll catch it.

I've noticed the grandparents across the road having daily visits from their son and grandson who looked five. They didn't stay two metres away from each other at all times and yesterday grandad was taken away by ambulance and I've not seen him return home. .

Stop slagging off elderly people! It’s unfair, unnecessary and nasty and I am fed up of it on Mumsnet.

Fiftyish is not old. Taking your dog out is allowed. So is going out with your husband.

No one is sagging anyone. We are discussing what's actually happening. If you don't like it don't read it.

My 90 year old, incredibly independent Aunt has been a nugget to keep at home! I'm taking shopping to her which she hates as she feels she's being a bother (she's NOT). I had to be VERY blunt. As did her kids (from the other end of the country!) she's Skyping with my Mum (overseas) and I'm sure the main topic of conversation is how they're being treat like children 🙄. I don't much care if it keeps them alive!!

So, they're not happy about it, but they're staying in. It's friends I'm struggling with. One in particular who I love very much but fear I may lose. 😢

Be careful what you wish for. My DM I genuinely don't think will ever leave her house again after this. She has been in SI since the very day it was spoken about. She is absolutely terrified.

My Dad is now shopping every other day. Prior to this he went weekly.
He’s still popping in to see my 96 year old Nan most days.
I have tried explaining. I have tried reiterating government advice word for word and in my own words. He just doesn’t seem to get it.
His local shops will deliver. I’ve offered to try to get him some supermarket delivery slots booked but he’s declined.
I’m tearing my hair out but he’s 150 miles away so there’s nothing more that I can do.
The in-laws meanwhile are letting me deliver shopping to the weekly and are staying at home. Thanks goodness some of them are needing advice!

Sorry slagging not sagging.

Posters here are worried and frustrated with their parents.

You're only allowed out once and I never said fifty was old. I was talking generally.

It’s extremely worrying. I’m not slagging anyone off. I live 500 miles away from my parents. I feel helpless. I don’t understand their attitude or behaviour. It helps (slightly, in an awful sort of way) to know I’m not the only one feeling like this.

yesterday grandad was taken away by ambulance and I've not seen him return home
as this happens more and more those who didnt get it will understand, but too late of course, such is human nature, I dont really rate our chances when that asteroid comes for us

My parents are behaving very well as are their friends - my DDad is petrified of catching it and he’s usually very ‘ oh it will be ok’. It seems that there is no getting through to some people based on others experiences here.

we actually had this conversation a couple of days ago. The mother of a friend of DH's is in ICU at the moment. DM insisted that she must have a serious underlying condition and when told that she doesn't said, "well I don't believe that". It is very much like bashing my head against a brick wall.

Bloody hell - what do you do with that?! I've mentioned this before but I wonder if we'll see civil lawsuits against people that are breaking the rules and end up infecting/killing someone needlessly. At some point we'll have contact tracing....?

People of all ages behave irresponsibly. I'm sick of all these elderly bashing posts
Oh me too.

And saying this is ageist is plain stupidity.
Its common sense.
I found the older folks get, the more selfish and self centered they become

I really hope you can see the irony of this.

It’s not being ageist, followed by a blatantly ageist comment!

Your parents sound a nightmare, but you are only responsible for your own behaviour, not theirs. Make the likely consequences clear and leave them to it.

I appreciate that OP didn't start the elderly-bashing; it's the younger (under 25) ones that are a problem here.

I saw one young lady out today in matching black PVC shorts, bra top and stiletto-heel boots - granted nobody went within 10 feet of her. She may have just been taking the air / trying to get a tan rather than encouraging social contact, of course.

Thank you so much for that video @hoodathunkit, very informative and relevant to the current situation!

Dreadful though it is, I think my 80 odd year old not so ‘d’m will only stop socialising when someone catches cv. I’m sick of banging onto her.

I'm furious with my MIL.
We have been working (from home, key workers), attempting to educate late primary/early high school kids, and shop/errands (mainly me) for 3 households in family (food shopping for 11) then find out today MIL is going to a pharmacy inside a major supermarket every two weeks as she needs 'personal items'.
I've offered to go and not tell anyone what I'm buying for her and it's been refused.
I'm furious, we've been shielding them, but going out once every two weeks is ok

I have 2 friends, and 1 in particular, who consistently flout the rules. They both walk their dogs 2-3 times a day and 1 of them goes to the supermarket every single day-because she says she hasn’t got a freezer. She also refuses to use contactless payment because she only likes using cash. Amazingly, yesterday she told me, (by phone!)that she saw that the vet was open, and popped in to ask a ‘quick question’ not even applicable to her dog. I despair, I really do.