To be upset with my husband and his friend

[Pumpkin108]

Hi everyone,

So I'm 8 weeks pregnant (first baby) and I've been doing OK though for me it's not that easy as I have an underlying health condition and the whole thing makes me feel quite anxious but I've been trying to stay really positive and telling myself I'll be ok. My dh has been pretty supportive. Anyway the other day, he was working from home and left his laptop open when he went to do something... I came in from garden and saw messages he'd been exchanging with a work colleague (and friend) who he's know about 1.5 years which basically entailed her being unpleasant about my pregnancy... One such comment was 'oh she'll need to take laxatives before the birth otherwise she'll shit herself' and my dh replied with the laughing laughing emoji...

There were other comments about how my body will be broken afterwards and I'll have to wear pregnancy nappies etc and how I shouldn't have a homebirth because of my 'disease'

Aibu to be hurt by this? To think it's none of her business and that she was rude and hurtful and my husband didn't really stand up for me either?

I am so sorry for you OP, my exh turned out to be an absolute arsehole, but when I was pregnant with our first he was incredibly protective of me and his child, thats how it should be in a normal loving relationship or marriage

the man you are with has shown you exactly what he is, he does not value you or your child, if he cant do it now when you are vulnerable and carrying his child when will he do it? I think you know he wont.

He has destroyed your trust in him as someone who should care about you and protect you, his priority is him, that wont change, so you need to protect yourself and your child and that needs to start now.

If possible call the midwife, go out in the car to do this if necessary, explain the situation to her, ask for support, talk to your friends tell them what is going on, if a friend came to me with something like this I absolutely know what I would advise her to do and I would support her in every way I could to do it.

Why was it not possible for you to be alone with the midwife?

I'm not minimising, but these are strangers advising you. You should be safe and loved.

Yes you are. Because this exactly what isn't happening.

You need to understand that there are options available right now that will be gone in 5 years .
You're young , you own your home , you can completely start over .
Don't settle for this shit it will only get worse .
Be your own best friend and rescue yourself now .

@Pumpkin108
How are you doing ?
I hope the weekend was ok for you.

Hope you're all ok op

I hope things are OK with your pregnancy and at home OP...