Would you confess your cake had made the hole? Please be honest!

[CakeHoleinRoof]

Name changed for this as It's extremely outing! because It's bizarre, mainly Pom bears, Mexican House Thief, Penis Beaker etc.

So I currently live with my ex partner. This is recent-I moved back in with him to save money in order to buy a house (obviously I can't do that for now ).

We get on okay, but he was a terrible partner when I was with him.
Heavy drink problem (which he managed to keep secret for far too long!), lies, unable to manage finances, a whole barrage of dishonesty about his circumstances. It was horrible, so many tears and sleepless nights on my part as I'd really thought he was for me before then, but it was years ago and I have grown up a lot now.

This definitely bears some relevance to how I treat him now though. I don't have much respect for him admittedly as it took me a long time to rebuild my life when we broke up some years ago. I'm not horrible to him or anything but I am not overly nice. Had I done this to anyone else I'd have been mortified, ad definitely confessed and paid for damages.

We both own the house together.

Some time ago I was baking a cake. I didn't realise the flour had gone off, so the cake was inedible. I decided to chuck it out for the birds.

Amongst other twatty things my ex had done, he built a HUGE outhouse/outbuilding in the garden. I'd previously had the garden lovely albeit small and he built this thing which takes up about 90% of the garden. It's massive. I decided to chuck the cake on top of it.

But it broke the (corrugated plastic) roof of the structure. It made a hole in it.

This was a month or so ago and he has only just noticed. He came into my room this morning holding a hammer and said 'Whose is this hammer?!' I said I don't know, not mine? And he said he thought someone had thrown it into the garden and this is what has broken the roof. He wants to report it to the police as well.

He is not overly upset about it, and has fixed the hole now.

I kind of want to confess because I don't want him wasting police time.

I kind of don't though.

Would you? Honestly?

YANBU -Don't confess, no point and he's a knobhead anyway
YABU-Confess, It's the correct thing to do.

Ha. I didn’t realise this was ZOMBIE.

I have just texted my uncle about Killer rock cakes though, so worth it for me.

Sorry but you take the cake! Of course it’s not your fault it’s your ex that needs help mane he should live in his monster shed. And you could bake more cakes to feed him on, yes that sounds daft but his behaviour is daft. The cake is still on the shed roof I doubt it it’s probably fallen to pieces with the rain.

I haven't managed to bake anything with gone-off flour since.

I can believe that! My mum used to bake wholemeal scones for 'health reasons'. My dad used to use them to clean out his flask after he'd been staying away for a week and all the tea had congealed inside them I used to joke she should sell them to the council for speedbumps.

Gosh sorry, I didn't realise it was a zombie thread. But its still as funny 2 years later.

My old room is rented out to my most recent ex.

Which old room? Not hammer ex?

Ex ex ruined your lovely garden, he deserved more than a hole in the roof

I have to go our now but for context, this is what the garden looked like BEFORE I sorted it out (when I first got with him) and yes I know, should have ran a mile. :)

Haha this is hilarious love the comments. 😂😂😂No don't confess he's a nob. What's to report? He's fixed the dam hole. How big is the out building? Just mention you need planning permission for anything bigger than a shed and he might be made to remove it.

OP didn't say it made a circle, and she did say the hammer was inside the structure.

Aw! Great update.

I'm glad this thread got resurrected.

You're the new carpet fitter

I've just realized this is an old post. So he removed that beautiful tree to build that monstrosity?😱🙈

I can believe that! My mum used to bake wholemeal scones for 'health reasons'. My dad used to use them to clean out his flask after he'd been staying away for a week and all the tea had congealed inside them

He must have had a big flask to get a scone into it.

Do you have a garden now? Hope so!

A) flour doesn't go out of date
B) you made a cake so heavy it broke a hole in corrugated plastic? 🤔

I don't know why people are doubting you op.
But what I want to know is, did you get your fair share from the house ?(to enable you to buy your current place)

Flour can get weavels in if it's very old.

Even weevils!

Have you never eaten a cake made with out of date flour? Absolutely awful!

And I'm happy to eat anything that's out of date.

Your pics show it is “ Beyond all reasonable doubt” true 😂

Our Mum used to make a large fruit cake ( delicious and rich) at Christmas but that weighed a lot, as they are so laden with heavy ingredients.

I could imagine a large fruit cake crashing through a plastic roof, even a “Successful “ one.

Years ago as a kid a friend’s mum allowed us to make jam tarts

The pastry was rather hard, the jam unpleasantly tarry and sticky.
I was hurt that parents didn’t eat them-But deliberately went to the shops for a commercial cake.
😂

@CakeHoleinRoof
Re your Ex. “Missing” the loo-
that IS believable!
Some men can be really hopeless in their “Aim”
From all orifi.
Gross🤢

@DameFanny all I can say is thank you!
😊💐
I have read some of the Disc World books, but not that one, I will now do so.

Terry Pratchett had such a deliciously funny sense of humour. I know that they are completely different entities, but the only recent (stand-up, or sit down) comedian that I have found funny is Billy Connelly, he could make me howl with laughter, and Terry Pratchett's Disc World series will mainly make me chuckle - but not much else does these days except for my Grandchildren and Dog, so I don't underestimate chuckles - but occassionally his tales will elicit the odd howler too. So again @DameFanny thank you for that page xx

If the police do turn up just casually say

"Oh if I'd known you were coming, I'd have baked a cake"

🤣

@CakeHoleinRoof which structure had the hole in it? Was it the lean to? The other roofs look too strong to have a cake hole

🤣

@RightOnTheEdge
Thank you :)

@Hawdyerwheesht from memory he sort of did the one knock then open thing. I was just sitting putting my make up on so wasn't so bothered.

@Belle999 really? Even though he paid for all materials and did all the labour? I guess it is..I am not quite able to process that but yes it is isn't it? I wasn't living there at the time he did it, knew nothing of the building until I visited some time after he had built it.

@Chezandme123 I retrieved the cake after getting over the initial shock of the hole having been caused by it. I am lucky he didn't notice me clambering about!

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints
no, he has his own room, my most recent ex (amicable break up, female) now has the bedroom I used to have. They're getting along okay, she moved in not longer after I left.

@Somethingneedstochange sorry, see photos!

I very much doubt he had planning permission. He just isn't the type to have anything of that nature cross his mind. Yes, he got rid of everything I'd planted. Plants, flowers, tree, rocks, lawn and just made the monstrosity in their place.

@Novum thank you-I've not read the whole of this thread in long time but I am pretty sure I didn't claim it to be a cartoon-type perfectly symmetrical hole, just a bog-standard hole :)

@JinglingHellsBells I really don't understand that. Scones are pretty pliable , a few inches across and flask necks are various sizes but many being large enough for a person to drink from like a cup. 🤔

@Clarinet1 I do! Much larger and nicer and no random buildings popping up

@KnickerlessParsons A)That would be very enlightening if it wasn't completely untrue and B) Yes.

I’m pleased for you!