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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you confess your cake had made the hole? Please be honest!

209 replies

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 19:19

Name changed for this as It's extremely outing! because It's bizarre, mainly Pom bears, Mexican House Thief, Penis Beaker etc.

So I currently live with my ex partner. This is recent-I moved back in with him to save money in order to buy a house (obviously I can't do that for now Sad ).

We get on okay, but he was a terrible partner when I was with him.
Heavy drink problem (which he managed to keep secret for far too long!), lies, unable to manage finances, a whole barrage of dishonesty about his circumstances. It was horrible, so many tears and sleepless nights on my part as I'd really thought he was for me before then, but it was years ago and I have grown up a lot now.

This definitely bears some relevance to how I treat him now though. I don't have much respect for him admittedly as it took me a long time to rebuild my life when we broke up some years ago. I'm not horrible to him or anything but I am not overly nice. Had I done this to anyone else I'd have been mortified, ad definitely confessed and paid for damages.

We both own the house together.

Some time ago I was baking a cake. I didn't realise the flour had gone off, so the cake was inedible. I decided to chuck it out for the birds.

Amongst other twatty things my ex had done, he built a HUGE outhouse/outbuilding in the garden. I'd previously had the garden lovely albeit small and he built this thing which takes up about 90% of the garden. It's massive. I decided to chuck the cake on top of it.

But it broke the (corrugated plastic) roof of the structure. It made a hole in it.

This was a month or so ago and he has only just noticed. He came into my room this morning holding a hammer and said 'Whose is this hammer?!' I said I don't know, not mine? And he said he thought someone had thrown it into the garden and this is what has broken the roof. He wants to report it to the police as well.

He is not overly upset about it, and has fixed the hole now.

I kind of want to confess because I don't want him wasting police time.

I kind of don't though.

Would you? Honestly?

YANBU -Don't confess, no point and he's a knobhead anyway
YABU-Confess, It's the correct thing to do.

OP posts:
CalmerViolet · 04/04/2020 22:54

OMG, what had the poor birds done to deserve this? At least the cake was retrieved before the poor things dented their beaks.

OP, the main issue is that you are living in his house rent-free, even though you despise him, to save money. This is a much bigger ethical / moral issue than Cakegate.

And...how did you know the roof was broken when you had chucked the cake? Hmm

bobstersmum · 04/04/2020 22:55

You threw a whole cake out for the birds, what are they albatrosses?

Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 23:06

calmer we both own the house and pay the mortgage. I've just not lived here for a long time until recently.

And also because i looked,and there was a hole.

OP posts:
Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 23:08

bobsters what would you have done in a similar situation?

OP posts:
bobstersmum · 04/04/2020 23:13

Since I don't want a rat infested garden I'd have thrown it in the bin.

Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 23:19

I did! After trying to feed the birds anyway!

OP posts:
MovingBriskyOn · 04/04/2020 23:21

Hearts is obviously invested because of their username.

The rest of us just want the puns

agonyauntie2020 · 05/04/2020 05:00

wait, wait, the cake made a hole big enough for a cat to get through? But you still had to climb on the wheelie bin to get the cake down? Sure your cake made the hole? Maybe it was a pre-existing hole?
Guilt problem- solved.

Thesuzle · 05/04/2020 05:18

Sod the cake business, its the massive shed thing I’m more concerned about, did he apply for planning, and if its as horrid as I think, then you are going to struggle to sell the house

StoppinBy · 05/04/2020 05:52

Lies by omission are still lies.... blah blah blah.

Hahah, no way would I would tell him if he didn't directly ask haha.

My husband (then BF) said to me one Monday 'I must have left the stove on when I left for my parents on Friday, when got home the whole bench was so hot it's lucky it hadn't caught fire'. Little did he know that I had gone out on the weekend and slept at his place (he knew this part) but had a few drinks before going out and decided I needed to light an incense stick with the stove as we had no matches..... and apparently left the stove turned on.

Hahah, I only told him years later when he said 'remember that time I left the stove on'.

Must of been some cake to have put a hole in the roof or some really brittle roof material lol

FortunesFave · 05/04/2020 06:17

This is the right moment to share this song.

user1480880826 · 05/04/2020 06:28

Where did he find the hammer? And what made him think it was the hammer that made the hole?

Also, what was he doing coming into your bedroom in the morning? That seems fairly inappropriate. Does he have issues with personal space?

FourDecades · 05/04/2020 06:37

I think what is more concerning is the fact you are financially linked to him still.

Why haven't you sold the house so you can get a deposit?

Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 09:50

four he doesn't want to leave the house, and he owned it long before I met him. We put me on the mortgage just because he lost his job(through drinking :( ) and he'd have lost the house ifwe didn't.
user he said it was just underneath the hole! Obviously it isn't correct that it made the hole lol

OP posts:
Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 09:52

suzie seriously I hate the bloody thing. Loved my garden but as I didn't live here I I didn't have much to say. i doubt he applied for planning to be honest.

OP posts:
Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 09:56

Agony yes, I saw the cake land and make the hole. A tortoiseshell and white cat climbed through it lol.

OP posts:
Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 10:13

jaggery lobbed a mite infested and leaden vanilla sponge onto it Grin Grin

OP posts:
TriangleBingoBongo · 05/04/2020 10:17

I haven’t read the thread but I just wanted to thank you for the smile your OP brought!

Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 10:28

triangle you're welcome Grin I'm glad this stupid situation has made some people laugh despite difficult times :)

OP posts:
Qgardens · 05/04/2020 10:30

Never mind the cake or him. What about all those poor weavils you killed? You murderer, you. Grin

IdblowJonSnow · 05/04/2020 10:34

This is funny. Don't tell him!
The police will do nothing about this by the way.

Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 10:39

qgardens don't! I think weevils are kind of cute! The flour being brown flecked was so weird .

OP posts:
LargeGinOnTap · 05/04/2020 10:53

Don't confess

It was a cat or something.

He's only just noticed and it may well already been unstructurely sound

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/04/2020 11:01

Not to be rude, but I don’t get it.
How have we gone from cake fails to hammers. Confused

Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 11:06

awwspider he noticed a hammer underneath the hole and didn't recognise it, so figured that had caused the damage.
It's silly because only us two live here, nobody else enters the outbuiding but him. He must have put it there himself!

OP posts:
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