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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you confess your cake had made the hole? Please be honest!

209 replies

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 19:19

Name changed for this as It's extremely outing! because It's bizarre, mainly Pom bears, Mexican House Thief, Penis Beaker etc.

So I currently live with my ex partner. This is recent-I moved back in with him to save money in order to buy a house (obviously I can't do that for now Sad ).

We get on okay, but he was a terrible partner when I was with him.
Heavy drink problem (which he managed to keep secret for far too long!), lies, unable to manage finances, a whole barrage of dishonesty about his circumstances. It was horrible, so many tears and sleepless nights on my part as I'd really thought he was for me before then, but it was years ago and I have grown up a lot now.

This definitely bears some relevance to how I treat him now though. I don't have much respect for him admittedly as it took me a long time to rebuild my life when we broke up some years ago. I'm not horrible to him or anything but I am not overly nice. Had I done this to anyone else I'd have been mortified, ad definitely confessed and paid for damages.

We both own the house together.

Some time ago I was baking a cake. I didn't realise the flour had gone off, so the cake was inedible. I decided to chuck it out for the birds.

Amongst other twatty things my ex had done, he built a HUGE outhouse/outbuilding in the garden. I'd previously had the garden lovely albeit small and he built this thing which takes up about 90% of the garden. It's massive. I decided to chuck the cake on top of it.

But it broke the (corrugated plastic) roof of the structure. It made a hole in it.

This was a month or so ago and he has only just noticed. He came into my room this morning holding a hammer and said 'Whose is this hammer?!' I said I don't know, not mine? And he said he thought someone had thrown it into the garden and this is what has broken the roof. He wants to report it to the police as well.

He is not overly upset about it, and has fixed the hole now.

I kind of want to confess because I don't want him wasting police time.

I kind of don't though.

Would you? Honestly?

YANBU -Don't confess, no point and he's a knobhead anyway
YABU-Confess, It's the correct thing to do.

OP posts:
heartsonacake · 04/04/2020 20:31

So are you going to confess?

My2catsarefab · 04/04/2020 20:32

The hammer was obviously left by the birds who'd taken it with them to smash your cake into tiny edible pieces 😆

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 20:34

Haha it was for someone's birthday thisismy! It's a good job I noticed about the flour.

hearts I don't know!

OP posts:
CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 20:35

mytwo Grin he probably put it there when he was drunk and forgot!

OP posts:
Tigger001 · 04/04/2020 20:38

I would just admit it. If you are not really bothered what he thinks of you anyway, and it's fixed, just tell the truth.
What do think his reaction would be ?

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 20:40

tigger I think he'd think bad of me and respect me less. And I've struggled to get him to abide by the lockdown rules, i think he'd take risks again to upset me.

OP posts:
DarkPassenger · 04/04/2020 20:40

If he brings it up again tell him 'Shut yer cakehole and forget about it.' Then come and update us Grin Bet you can't do it without laughing Grin

Disclaimer: Where I'm from cakehole means mouth, especially one that's rabbiting on in an irritating way.

Runmybathforme · 04/04/2020 20:42

Best laugh I’ve had in ages.

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 20:43

dark it means that here too!
run I'm glad my misfortunes are making people laugh! Grin

OP posts:
DarkPassenger · 04/04/2020 20:46

Excellent! Then he'll have no reason to be suspicious Grin

Great thread, bonkers baking escapade and a wonderful page of Discworld. Thanks OP Cake Cake

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/04/2020 20:46

Deny deny. Pretty funny though!

ACertainSupermarket · 04/04/2020 20:48

Don't confess. He already has a credible explanation. The police will have 0% interest in this right now if not before.

badg3r · 04/04/2020 20:50

Tell him... next year 😂

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 04/04/2020 20:50

Deny!

Seriously though, are you OK CakeHole?

Sounds like he isn't the easiest person to be in lockdown with.

Ginntoniconpause · 04/04/2020 20:50

@CakeHoleinRoof umm... it's in the process of being fixed...Grin and I've managed to swerve a divorce!!

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 20:50

Dark you're welcome :)

OP posts:
CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 20:52

gin not the best time for it to happen! Well done Grin

Thankyou Glenda for asking.
He isn't, but I'm okay :)

OP posts:
whiplashy · 04/04/2020 20:53
Hmm
9millioncansofbeans · 04/04/2020 20:55

Don’t confess but remind him all the emergency services have enough in their plate right now!

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 20:56

9 I have said that :) and its true.

OP posts:
Lilymossflower · 04/04/2020 21:12

Don't confess.

Yes you as a mature adult can put the past behind you but by the sounds of it he hasn't actually changed and he will use it to disrespect you more and keep bringing it up etc

He sounds really horrible, you have to protect yourself

Danni91 · 04/04/2020 21:12

Did I read wrong but you split up years ago, hate the extension but only moved in before lock down??

I've had a few I could of read wrong but it confused me enough to try twice !

Fyi, I voted yanbu

MitziK · 04/04/2020 21:14

As long as you don't give them another bloody cake to have on their plate as well...

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 21:17

Danny sorry, I know it's confusing but yes. I've moved out years ago, rented somewhere but decided to buy so moved into this house again to save paying rent while I found a house.

OP posts:
CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 21:20

lillymoss thank you for 'getting' it. He isn't 'horrible' in that he's pleasant and isn't nasty outwardly, but I do worry about the second part, he'll hold onto it I think.

OP posts: