Would you confess your cake had made the hole? Please be honest!

[CakeHoleinRoof]

Name changed for this as It's extremely outing! because It's bizarre, mainly Pom bears, Mexican House Thief, Penis Beaker etc.

So I currently live with my ex partner. This is recent-I moved back in with him to save money in order to buy a house (obviously I can't do that for now ).

We get on okay, but he was a terrible partner when I was with him.
Heavy drink problem (which he managed to keep secret for far too long!), lies, unable to manage finances, a whole barrage of dishonesty about his circumstances. It was horrible, so many tears and sleepless nights on my part as I'd really thought he was for me before then, but it was years ago and I have grown up a lot now.

This definitely bears some relevance to how I treat him now though. I don't have much respect for him admittedly as it took me a long time to rebuild my life when we broke up some years ago. I'm not horrible to him or anything but I am not overly nice. Had I done this to anyone else I'd have been mortified, ad definitely confessed and paid for damages.

We both own the house together.

Some time ago I was baking a cake. I didn't realise the flour had gone off, so the cake was inedible. I decided to chuck it out for the birds.

Amongst other twatty things my ex had done, he built a HUGE outhouse/outbuilding in the garden. I'd previously had the garden lovely albeit small and he built this thing which takes up about 90% of the garden. It's massive. I decided to chuck the cake on top of it.

But it broke the (corrugated plastic) roof of the structure. It made a hole in it.

This was a month or so ago and he has only just noticed. He came into my room this morning holding a hammer and said 'Whose is this hammer?!' I said I don't know, not mine? And he said he thought someone had thrown it into the garden and this is what has broken the roof. He wants to report it to the police as well.

He is not overly upset about it, and has fixed the hole now.

I kind of want to confess because I don't want him wasting police time.

I kind of don't though.

Would you? Honestly?

YANBU -Don't confess, no point and he's a knobhead anyway
YABU-Confess, It's the correct thing to do.

Hmmm, if the police aren't willing to look at CCTV on a train to see who stole my passport and tablet, I doubt they'll be interested in a hole!

lolly sorry to hear that happened :( no, I don't think they would either but you never know, maybe if someone's being using a hammer to commit crimes round here or something?

Something I learnt from someone once.
Deny, deny, deny.

As he is a twat definitely don't confess.

Make up anything rather than let him waste police time. Do not do that. Clearly.

You can't tell him now. You've had two opportunities to tell him - when you did it and when he asked about the hammer. You need to stick to plausible deniability.

However terrible the cake was, that has got to be some shit building work by ex to produce a roof that can be smashed through by a cake. I mean really. I would NOT tell him and I don't think the police will be very interested.

I signed in just for this - I’m so happy to be on the winning side.

Tell him it was probably a fat pigeon on the roof

Take it to the grave OP

Or a passing fat cat / squirrel / kids football?

What ?

Tel him that as he doesn't know when the hammer was thrown, nothing appears to have gone missing, and he's fixed the damage, that the police aren't likely to be particularly interested. Importantly though, in the light of the CV pandemic they will have lots of other more important things to do, and he'd really be wasting their time on a trivial matter.

lady i didn't say so in the OP but he only noticed the hole because a cat had gone into the building through it!

ilikebooks

To everyone saying about wasting police time, totally agree. One of the main issues I have had about this.

A sponge that broke a roof!!!

(you were clearly right to distrust it...!)

This is hilarious, you are too good for him OP, don't confess even though you bake cakes like concrete.

Don’t tell him yet. Tell him after you’ve moved out. Persuade him not to phone the police by saying they’ve got enough on their (cake!) plate atm.

And thanks for the laugh OP 😂

sharona I have not dated a man since!
Take that as you want

mother

Are you the Queen from Ben and Holly ? She makes cakes like bricks.

Don't confess, he will ever, guess to say to you 'did your inedible cake make a hole in my shed roof.' SIMPLY NEVER.

This has made me smile, aside from him being a useless fecker.

Repairing the roof was obviously a piece of cake as it’s now all sorted.
Don’t confess. We are living in strange times. It’s entirely possible for a hammer to have been carried along by the recent strong winds and come to rest upon the extension roof. It’s a far easier thing to explain then why you lobbed a mite infested and leaden vanilla sponge onto it. Truly. Say nothing. It’s complicated.

Definitely don't confess OP. The roof was obviously weak! I never confess unless I am obviously guilty. I once accidentally wiped a bin bag against a newly decorated wall and left a tea stain. Did I own up? Hell no!