Looking after friends child during labour- WWYD?

[Desperatelyseekingsleep12]

A friend of mine is due to give birth in ten days and has a 3- year old daughter. She and her partner don’t have any family that are local, so she has asked me to come over and be with her daughter when she goes to the hospital to give birth. Her husband will be going with her and our local hospital is still allowing one birthing partner. However, is it permissible for me to go into her home and look after her child? My family have been very strictly following the government guidance so it doesn’t sit well with me, but then again, if I refuse to do this, she’ll have to give birth alone. Do any of you have any advice? What would you do?

I thought they weren't allowed partners during labour to reduce spreading corona virus x

If it was me I would do it, I wouldn't hesitate. This is on condition that no one in either household has a medical condition that makes them vulnerable.

Tough call to make.

Did you agree to look after her children before all of this happened or was it a recently arranged agreement? I’d feel awful about letting down a friend if I had agreed to this for a long time and have to let her down in ten days to sort something out, not a panic that she needs right now. But I also understand your need to protecting your own family.

I think it may be allowed as caring/compassionate support - there was a thread I think - as long as you are all asymptomatic

Look after her child*

I personally would on this occasion.

Jade
Luckily in most hospitals women are still allowed a birthing partner during active labour. I think it's only in a few hospitals in London where they are not allowed.

I would do it provided everyone was healthy and had been taking the appropriate precautions, staying at home etc - I would count caring for a three year old in this situation as looking after someone vulnerable. It wouldn't be good for your friend to have to give birth alone.

Yes absolutely I would.

No I wouldn't. He'll have to come back at some point and from a hospital as well. He should stay home and look after his kid. It's shit but not a chance.

I'd do it personally op.

What a difficult decision to make

I guess you have to asses the risk for some it would be an absolute no others the risk is less but unless you and your family have been self isolating for 14 days and they have the risk is there

It is certainly not against any guidelines so don't worry on that score. As long as both households have been social distancing it should be very low risk as well. If anyone in your household is vulnerable, or working in a high risk job, or ill, I would ask them to find someone else.

I would definitely help.

Close friend - i would do in a heart beat (assuming no one classed as vulnerable on either side).

Of course you should help them. Unless you have a vulnerable person in your home the actual risk level for you of catching Coronavirus and having a serious reaction is minimal and the cost to her if you don’t go is huge - giving birth alone. Please don’t let them down.

It’s essential care so if you and your family are well and have practised SD properly then, yes.

What dorothea said.

I wouldn't, I'm afraid in this situation she has to deal with giving birth with just the medical professionals helping her.

Yes I would help and it's not against guidelines.
I've just offered help to someone in a similar position.

I don't believe anyone should have to give birth alone, without a partner, so I would definitely look after the child.

Imagine that, heaven forbid, something went wrong, and her husband wasn't there.

I wouldn't. Giving birth alone is not ideal but I wouldn't want to risk it

I follow a GP on Instagram who has just given birth without her husband (slightly different circumstances) but honestly I think if you’re due to give birth then you need to consider that giving birth with only medical professionals present may be the safest option.

gamerchick and Fratercula

^Will I still be able to have my birth partners with me?

The World Health Organisation and the RCOG/RCM advise that you will still be able to have your birth partner with you throughout (including in theatre unless you need a general anaesthetic) but visitors should be kept to a minimum. However if your birth partner has symptoms of COVID-19, they are asked not to attend the unit so you may want to consider having a “back-up” birth partner on standby.

Banning all birth partners is a profound restriction on a woman’s right to choose who should give her essential support during a life-changing experience, and also on a partner’s right to be present at the birth of their child. Birthrights does not believe that banning all birth partners can be justified as a proportionate response to the current pandemic, and we are pleased to see this reflected in national guidance.^

www.birthrights.org.uk/2020/03/12/coronovirus-how-will-it-affect-my-rights-to-maternity-care/

If your friend, her partner and their daughter could stay home for a week or two before they would surely be fine and you could go to their house if you’d been doing the same. Then you could leave just as they arrive home and not be near them as they come in from the hospital. Id feel happy doing that.