Looking after friends child during labour- WWYD?

[Desperatelyseekingsleep12]

A friend of mine is due to give birth in ten days and has a 3- year old daughter. She and her partner don’t have any family that are local, so she has asked me to come over and be with her daughter when she goes to the hospital to give birth. Her husband will be going with her and our local hospital is still allowing one birthing partner. However, is it permissible for me to go into her home and look after her child? My family have been very strictly following the government guidance so it doesn’t sit well with me, but then again, if I refuse to do this, she’ll have to give birth alone. Do any of you have any advice? What would you do?

A family member is due to give birth soon and I am judging to the high heavens that they have asked parents with health conditions to watch their toddler. When we get pregnant there is always a risk we might be alone waiting for partners to arrive during a fast labour or anything. Asking someone else to risk their health for a want isn’t acceptable in my eyes and this is a want not need. Husband and toddler could drop mother off at the car park/doors no need to impact on anyone else.

@ThusSpoke ask everyone you know, I’m sure someone would be willing. If you can’t find anyone at all social services is willing to take children in this situation into temporary foster care.

Yes I'd absolutely do it. I've found it quite disturbing how readily people have said "well just get a grip and do it alone love" to so many women in all this with zero regard for their individual circumstances. Just because you or someone you know might have done just that, it doesn't mean it wouldn't be truly traumatic for someone else. There's almost a hint of enjoyment in it which is worrying, especially from other women. I will be going in to have baby in a few days and my mum is going to be with me whilst my husband has the other kids. My neighbour took great joy in telling me they'd "banned all birthing partners" until I corrected him. Very odd.

I would do it 100%.

NWIH would I let a friend give birth on her own in the situation you describe.

Roweena I agree the gleeful tone is very worrying isn't it. Misogyny is alive and well! Anyway best of luck for your birth.

I would do it. Even if people in the household had symptoms as my family isn't particularly at risk, admittedly.

Leaving a woman without a birth partner is dehumanising and potentially fatal. I wouldn't let it happen on my watch.

@Roweeeeena exactly, as usual pregnant women have been brushed off with cries of ‘its natuuuraall!’. The health service has also abandoned them cancelling planned csections and shooing women out of hospital as soon as they can stand (not that that’s particularly out of the ordinary).

People forget that childbirth is life threatening. For those that survive it can leave life long scars both psychological and physical. We don’t tell people have minor heart attacks to just get over themselves, why are we saying it to women going into labour.

I would do it, absolutely. As long as we've all been socially distancing for the last couple of weeks, then I wouldn't hesitate.

I would do it. 100%.

@Reginabambina oh yes the ‘women used to give birth on a hillside on their own with a just dirty rag and then walk back ten miles home after they’d popped the baby out!’ Brigade

Yes and many died doing it! And many babies too.

Yeh I would do it providing your not vulnerable or looking after anyone vulnerable yourself. Isolate until the baby comes and then don’t stick around when they return from the hospital

I would

I would get them to drop their daughter off at yours and pick her up after if that would work - I presume you know they daughter quite well? Or at least make sure you stay 2m from them when they get back to theirs. But yes, I would definitely do it. Less risky that going to the shops for sure and it's a huge moment in their lives.

as usual pregnant women have been brushed off with cries of ‘its natuuuraall!’. The health service has also abandoned them cancelling planned csections

In case you have missed it, many life saving services have been suspended. Pregnant people are not the only ones affected. It’s a really scary time for many.

Op I would do it, but would prefer if the dad decided to stay at home and looked after their child.

@Duck90 and that makes it ok?

and that makes it ok?

As I said, it’s scary times for everyone. To clarify choice has been taken away from people due to a contagious virus, and will see people die from lack of treatment.

The health service has also abandoned them cancelling planned csections

A quick google of the hospitals local to me show this to be incorrect. Planned c sections are still taking place. If a c section has been deemed necessary, it is still happening.

In case you have missed it, many life saving services have been suspended. Pregnant people are not the only ones affected. It’s a really scary time for many

Which life saving services have been suspended? I am only aware of minor clinics being suspended, routine operations etc.

You can’t suspend giving birth, that baby is coming whether it is convenient or not.

I would if both households low risk.

i would do it.

For those saying they wouldn’t do it, I wonder if it was your daughter, sister or yourself You’d still say the same thing?
You’d happily see your daughter go through labour alone? Your sister have no one she trusts and loves by her side during the most intense and scary experience of her life?
Disturbing.

Yeah the sounds of glee that a woman is faced with this is sickening too.

OP the risk is low on both sides if you’re both observing SD and continue to do so until she gives birth. It’s very kind of you to help.

Which life saving services have been suspended? I am only aware of minor clinics being suspended, routine operations etc

My friend’s cancer surgery has been postponed indefinitely. There’s a very good chance she’ll die.

You’d happily see your daughter go through labour alone? Your sister have no one she trusts and loves by her side during the most intense and scary experience of her life?

Not happily but yes I would. I would also go in to give birth alone myself to reduce the risk of killer virus.

People's lives trump a birth experience and pregnant woman aren't exempt from that. Killer virus isnt going to give a wink and swerve people, it doesn't care.

@Alsohuman
That’s so sad
My sister’s operation for her brain aneurysm has been suspended too. If it ruptures she will die.

I’d personally prefer to give birth alone than expose my DH to a hospital at the minute, for him then to return to infect my older child.

In this case though, I’d say you make the choice for your family and the other woman can decide for hers. She’s clearly accepting whatever the risk might be to her child/family. If you’ve all been isolating that risk may be minimal. Are you willing to accept that risk too ?