Looking after friends child during labour- WWYD?

[Desperatelyseekingsleep12]

A friend of mine is due to give birth in ten days and has a 3- year old daughter. She and her partner don’t have any family that are local, so she has asked me to come over and be with her daughter when she goes to the hospital to give birth. Her husband will be going with her and our local hospital is still allowing one birthing partner. However, is it permissible for me to go into her home and look after her child? My family have been very strictly following the government guidance so it doesn’t sit well with me, but then again, if I refuse to do this, she’ll have to give birth alone. Do any of you have any advice? What would you do?

I’d do it

I think the potential vulnerability is the other way around. The OP could be taking anything into the house and then they would be bringing home a newborn

Excatly Wax and that is what so many seem to be overlooking

Unless a whole household has self isolated for 14 days there is absolutely no guarantee that you are not a carrier. Following the guidelines lessens your risk and the risk you are then to others but it does not fully protect you or others you come into contact with

Of course the op also wants to protect her family but the risks are also to her friends family with a new born baby. I really feel for pregnant women especially when they already have children some very difficult decisions are having to be made

I'd 100% do it.

I would but I'd make minimal contact, wash hands a LOT and anti bac yourself and wash your clothes before you go back to your own house.

I would have the child at mine if they had already been isolating

I would do it. Definitely.

Thanks for your comments, everyone! It looks like I accidentally switched on voting, which was a bit silly as this isn’t really a AIBU! Instinctively, I absolutely want to do it. My family and I have left the house once in the past two weeks and haven’t seen anyone other than each other. Her family has done the same. The thought of her having to go through labour alone is dreadful and I wouldn’t want anyone to have to do that. So I will do it, as you’ve made me realise that this doesn’t fall into the guidelines. Thanks all

Of course you can and should do it!! Totally self isolate both families for two weeks before and you'll be fine. Obv if any of you develop symptoms then no. But otherwise yes!

I’d do it, and I’m fairly risk adverse. This is a bit of an exceptional situation!

No sorry I wouldn't you might be a carrier exposing a mother just given birth and a brand new baby. She could also be a carrier and pass to you. She should have to give birth alone. (With professionals) I have done it 4 times. I know not everyone likes the idea of it but sometimes we need to be brave and make this decision. I know my opinion isn't a popular one but I believe a safe one

Absolutely I would do it, and I'm vulnerable. No woman should be forced to give birth alone because of the pandemic, whether because of hospital rules or childcare arrangements.

I'm due in July, we haven't seen my parents or PIL in weeks and I doubt I'll see them before the baby comes, but I fully expect one set (likely PIL as they're closer and in better health) to come and look after DD.

If you've both been isolating the past few weeks, it would be okay. I'd risk it for a friend tbf.

I'd do it. Both the mum and child are vulnerable so you should be ok.

Sometimes you have to be able to say 'It might be grey, but I'd happily defend my position in court'

I've taken the view with carseats before and the exceptional / unforeseen circumstances clause.

Of course I’d do it! Some really odd views here. You’ve made the right choice OP.

It really sounds like some of the MN sadists are relishing the thought of telling women they’ll have to give birth alone

This!!!! Nasty fuckers

Oh, and children aren't at huge risk here. I'd be more worried about me (asthmatic) or PIL (70s) getting infected than DD or the baby.

I've posted good decision OP. Its times like this friendships are cemented.

If you aren't vulnerable I would do this too. There could be staffing issues at the hospital and enabling a birthing partner means that less staff contact would be needed.

Would the child be ok staying with you for a few days? If mum has to stay in hospital then it’s her or her partner who are most at risk, having been in the hospital. Also the dad might be unable to go & pick her up or do any essential shopping with the 3yr old.

I would ask them to drop the child off to you & then return her when mum & baby are safely home.

My friend had a still born last year. The thought of her going through that without her DP there is just horrendous. I’d say this is one of the times where the risk is worth it. Unless there’s some massive drip feed that your partner is a heart transplant patient or your 90yo granny lives with you.

I wouldn’t, as others have said what if you are a carrier without symptoms and pass it onto the child who then passes it on to their mother and new sibling. Too many things could go wrong in my view. If the mother was to contract this and become seriously ill you would never forgive yourself. Think VERY carefully before making any decisions OP.

I 100% would. This is a very exceptional and worthy situation.

A friend of mine is heavily pregnant and her family nearby are elderly and so can't look after her 5 year old DS when she has to go in. We have agreed that we will have him at our house providing we are all well. Another friend has also offered so hopefully one of us should be able to do it.

I'd do it, it's situations like this, and the child dying alone, if it's true, that are making me very worried. We have rights, some of which should not be removed even in the most serious of circumstances.

You can still do it as it is a caring responsibility.