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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say that dd1 can't get a job in a supermarket?

133 replies

Tonyaster · 04/04/2020 12:17

Because dd2 has asthma fairly badly?

Dd1 is desperate for a job at the beginning of May when she's finished her uni coursework. But dd2 is in the vulnerable group according to the chart on the asthma uk website. I've said no to dd1 working outside the home. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
bluewafflewithmayo · 04/04/2020 12:20

Yes - because she’s an adult who is perfectly entitled to get a job.

Remingtonsteeleswife · 04/04/2020 12:22

Absolutely not. No way.
Anyone who thinks otherwise Is a complete moron.

Original poster
Tonyaster · 04/04/2020 12:22

But she's living with us and could be exposed to coronavirus very easily and then bring it home to dd2.

OP posts:
PicsInRed · 04/04/2020 12:23

I would say that, as an adult, she can do any job she likes - but, also as an adult, she would need to move out of the household to allow your DD2 to continue to shield.

She's an adult. Her choice and her consequence.

Remingtonsteeleswife · 04/04/2020 12:23

There is no way at all she should be working in a supermarket.
It's not hard to understand. It's not safe.

ShellsAndSunrises · 04/04/2020 12:24

Has DD2 had the letter?

Is she staying inside, or still going out but social distancing?

If she’s on the social isolation list and staying completely inside, fair enough.

bluewafflewithmayo · 04/04/2020 12:25

Tell her to move out then. You’re entitled to throw her out, but you can’t stop her getting a job.

Original poster
Tonyaster · 04/04/2020 12:25

Well she doesn't have anywhere else to live until September, so I'll continue to say no way! She's not being difficult about it tbh but she knows she'll be bored.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tonyaster · 04/04/2020 12:27

She hasn't had a letter, but according to asthma uk wevsite the medication she's on puts her in the vulnerable group. She goes out for a walk every day with dh (we live rurally so she never sees anyone) apart frlm that she stays in the house and has done for three weeks.

OP posts:
Macncheeseballs · 04/04/2020 12:30

I wouldn't be that happy about it

MrsL2016 · 04/04/2020 12:31

Is your entire household staying home to shield your DD2? Does anyone else work outside the home at the moment? If not then I think it is fair to say no to DD1 but if someone else is coming and going, she can just take the same precautions as them.

daisypond · 04/04/2020 12:35

So, no one at home has a job outside the house?

Wewearpinkonwednesdays · 04/04/2020 12:35

Could dd1 get a job in a call center? Dp has just had to apply to one because his sites are shit and can't work his usual job. They will have all training over video chart and work from home.

SlipSlidin · 04/04/2020 12:35

None of us are in the vulnerable group, ds 18 home from uni has loads of friends in our local supermarket but I don’t want him to and have said he ain’t going until all this is over.

Ohffs66 · 04/04/2020 12:36

I'd say no OP. DH is self employed and currently has no income. He's offered to apply to the supermarkets but I've said no (not that I could stop him if he was dead set on it, but he doesn't really want to he just feels bad he's not contributing financially), I would rather him safe and us be skint rather than put us at unnecessary risk. And that's without anyone vulnerable in the household.

vanillandhoney · 04/04/2020 12:37

I assume everyone else in the household is shielding, then?

Otherwise if you and DH are still going out to work, it's a tad hypocritical to stop your DD doing the same.

WitchesGlove · 04/04/2020 12:37

Could she work in a warehouse instead? She’d come in to contact with less people.

How big is your house?

willowpatterns · 04/04/2020 12:38

My dd has just had to go on unpaid leave because her employer said that since her normal duties are non-essential she could move to a customer-facing role instead (in a fairly high-risk environment). Either do that job or take unpaid leave, no alternatives.

She has turned it down because we as a family are shielding a vulnerable elderly relative.

TheReluctantCountess · 04/04/2020 12:38

I wouldn’t want her to if she was my dd.

daisypond · 04/04/2020 12:41

Has the uni DD had to give up a job she already had? If so, money will be very difficult, as no doubt she will still have rent to pay. Can you afford to keep her?

Original poster
Tonyaster · 04/04/2020 12:42

I am not working. Wouldn't say its hypocritical that dh is working and dd1 not. He doesn't have a choice. She has plenty of money, she just wants to be busy.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tonyaster · 04/04/2020 12:43

She doesn't have to pay rent this term daisy

OP posts:
abstractzebra · 04/04/2020 12:48

My daughter is at home from university and has an open job with a supermarket and can pick up hours whenever she wants.
She's not going there at the moment and I'm glad but in all fairness she is still getting lots of work.
She has no health issues.

Staypositivepeople · 04/04/2020 12:49

At Uni = adult = mum can’t make decisions For them

Original poster
Tonyaster · 04/04/2020 12:51

Erm yes I can if she lives in my house and has a vulnerable sibling.

I don't believe the people on mumsnet that say adult children can do what they like even have adult children tbh.

OP posts: