To say that dd1 can't get a job in a supermarket?

[Tonyaster]

Because dd2 has asthma fairly badly?

Dd1 is desperate for a job at the beginning of May when she's finished her uni coursework. But dd2 is in the vulnerable group according to the chart on the asthma uk website. I've said no to dd1 working outside the home. Am I being unreasonable?

I think that the rapidity with which the epidemic is progressing means I'd be taking the 'precautionary principle ' approach. Already there have been plenty of opportunities to have made a decision that a week later appears unwise

Get a job. Move out. Simple.

Hang on, so your husband is a key worker? He's as likely to bring infection back home as your daughter would be from the supermarket then, surely?
Plus you've said you don't want her working outside the home at all. Not that you don't want her working in risky occupations. It does come across as double standards.

buttery Where's the double standard in husband going to work because he needs to to pay the bills and daughter staying at home because she doesn't? Two people working outside the home increase the chance of bringing the disease back.

Even those living with extremely vulnerable shielded individuals aren't being advised not to work outside the home.

I think it's unfair to expect your DD to comply with requirements that are stricter than the government advice. Especially when your DH is allowed to work...

Working in a supermarket at the moment is hugely valuable.

If you're genuinely worried about the impact on your other DD, then it's reasonable to say that she can't take the supermarket job, but the answer would then be for her to move out.

Realistically, I can't see any undergrad wanting to leave the family home at a time like this, so presenting the above options will probably get you the outcome you want.

Well if your husband is already risking your daughter's health what difference does,it make it your other daughter works?
If she hasn't even had a letter you don't know that she's at risk. We thought my husband was because of what the asthma uk website said (high dosage of steroid inhaler) but that's not what doctors are basing the high risk on. It's more to do if you've been admitted to ICU recently.

MY DS has literally just started a supermarket job this afternoon.
He is 19 years old, fit and healthy and Injust didn't want him lying around doing bugger all for an entire summer. He needs the money. Supermarket need the staff...night shift stacking shelves.

I was also going to suggest fruit picking. I applaud your DD's work ethic!

He's as likely to bring infection back home as your daughter would be from the supermarket then, surely?

Why? Just because he's a key worker doesn't mean he's necessarily going to have the same type of contact with large numbers of people that the DD would in a supermarket. Not all key workers are public facing.

He isn't public facing, has his own office and strict social distancing and hygiene. He's as safe as its possible to be, luckily.

If your DH is a key worker and is at work everyday then you should have taken steps to isolated your dd at home to protect her - aka she should stay in her bedroom only, you bring her food to her door. Bathroom thoroughy cleaned after each use etc....
Otherwsie, your dh obvioulsy will be bringing the virus back home and your dd2 wont be safe.

Now my understanding is that you dont do any of that as you consider that she is safe enough woth being at home and your dh going out to work.
If she is safe enough woth your dh going to work, then she will be safe enough with your dd1 going to work and become a key worker in the process.

Fwiw suoermarkets have a lot of vanacies and are struggling with my people being off etc... People like your d1 are needed just as much as other key workers such as nurses, teachers etc....

And btw, you have no idea if your dd would be 'customer facing'. She might well work behing the scene, in the warehouse or in the dot come area....

www.concordiavolunteers.org.uk/feed-the-nation I think this is one group coordinating farmworkers

It does come across as double standards

That's a bit silly.

Dd1 is much more likely to be exposed to covid 19 than my dh, and viral load would suggest that one working oth is preferable to 2 people woh.

Not at all unreasonable. Your DD2's life is more important than your DD1's desire to be busy. Obviously, your DH working outside the home is a risk, but that's no reason why you should increase the risk by allowing DD1 to work too.

Now my understanding is that you dont do any of that

How have you come to that conclusion . She barely leaves her room and has her own bathroom, btw.

and btw, you have no idea if your dd would be 'customer facing'

Yes but she can hardly specify that when she takes the job. Just wait for a thread from a retail manager 'interviewees stipulating they don't want to be customer facing, in retail, aibu to be amazed at the naivity of young people these days'

My DH is in the shielded group and I’m an NHS nurse. The guidance is that other family members do not need to self isolate so I’m not entitled to any leave.

DH and I are living in separate rooms which is hard but do-able.

Presumably your DD doesn’t want a job enough to do that? My DD is also talking at a supermarket job but I doubt she’ll go though with it.

I’ve had endless queries from staff at work about family members with every condition know to man, everyone seems to think that they’re the only one this is happening to.

It's totally hypocritical to say she cannot work outside home when DH is

^
This.

It's OK for the OP to deny the daughter permission to apply for the job in the current climate, provided that they are able to compensate them financially. The daughter won't be able to claim benefits because they're not looking for work (you can't pick and choose jobs to get benefits, you have to take whatever is available).

I wouldn't have it either. If you can manage to feed her then what's the problem. Safety first

Yes - because she’s an adult who is perfectly entitled to get a job.

Except that she is risking the life of her sister. OP is quite within her right to protect her younger child.

If she were mine she’d be told she can get the job if she likes, but she’ll live somewhere else until the risk has passed.

It's OK for the OP to deny the daughter permission to apply for the job in the current climate, provided that they are able to compensate them financially

What, like by housing and feeding her? ! If the OP requires her DD to pay rent and feed herself then you are correct, but from her posts it appears that this is not the case.

Does your family really need the money? DS18 has suggested getting a job in a supermarket. But I have said I would prefer that he didn't put himself and us at risk more than is necessary. We are fortunate that we dont need the extra income, but appreciate we are in a lucky position.