To be sick of neighbours shopping

[TriangleBingoBongo]

Just that really. Neighbour is early 80’s and extremely nimble, me and my DH really feel for him. He has no family but plenty of friends and a usually active social life. Problem being all his friends are a similar age. He is shielding himself.

At the beginning of this whole thing we asked if he needed any help. He readily accepted and asked us to nip to the post office (for stuff that needed to go to the counter), post letters. I did some shopping. DH was going to ask a few more neighbours if they needed help but decided against it as we soon realised how time consuming it is.

He’s totally computer literate and fortunately I introduced him to a milk delivery service which he seems to be using.

Now we’re a bit further into this crisis, DH is still working, I’m at home with a one year old and trying to work in a job which requires a lot of attention to detail. My boss is fantastic and I’m picking my hours up in the evening. Also have a DSS who is here on DH’s days off and has extra needs so quite full on. So there’s no spare time.

I keep letting the neighbour know when we’re picking things up and including him in our shop. He added some items to our online shop but of course I can’t get anymore slots now.

We had a shop delivered Tuesday, I let him know I was going to the local supermarket Friday, he said he didn’t need anything but he would give me a list.

He’s now given me a list. I don’t want to go shopping again. He seemed disappointed I don’t have any online slot. There aren’t any online slots! I’ll have to take DS, DH is at work and I only went the day before last. I have underlying health conditions, as does DSS and we’re trying to avoid going out more than we need to.

I think the elderly don’t appreciate the gravity of the situation and think we’re immune rather than less at risk.

@ponchek Now having asthma and being 30 is worse than being fit as a flea at 80 Really?! Because the deaths do not reflect that. At all. Can you please cite your source or stop spouting bollocks which will adversely affect people if they listen to you. Which they hopefully won’t.

picklebottom You cannot make a blanket statement like you have-asthmatics are high risk category with Covid 19 as this is primarily a lower respiratory tract virus

Well there's loads of people on this thread that I wouldn't be doing any shopping for.

Not you OP, I've loved your replies to everyone. Good luck in lockdown!

Thank you footprints!

I let my neighbour know I’d pick their stuff up one night in the week and since then I’ve managed to get a click and collect for Wednesday so all sorted for another week.

I think a lot of people have been offering to help others but them moan on mumsnet because they can't actually be arsed or find it an inconvenience. Going out ot your way for people usually does inconvenience you, however doing it anyway would be a good deed. You really shouldn't have offered in the first place, did you not think about your underlying conditioning in the first place?

Going forward be frank, say you are going shopping once a week on a set day and neighbour needs to give you a list and money three days beforehand. That way you are setting realistic expectations for your neighbour and eliminating the need for extra trips to the supermarket. Maybe don't offer to help anyone else as you don't sound cut out for it.

Your chronic lung condition makes you vulnerable yourself!

@Sceptre86 I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that at the beginning of this pandemic corona was considered a disease for the old. That has now changed somewhat considerably and now young, healthy people are dying. To be clear, I’m not totally naive. I understood what volunteering meant. But when the advice from the gov was to go to work and shield only the old and most vulnerable I did exactly that. It’s now changed.

Sorry, OP, that you have fallen foul of the sanctimonious brigade. On MN the only possible response is ‘of course’ with a bright smile when your neighbour, who had 24 hours to organize his list, brings it just as you are unloading the shopping from the car while juggling a job, a kid and a health condition. Thank you for helping your neighbour. Please think of your own health and do not be bulldozed into making additional trips.

I think people are harsh - it's all very well offering to help the elderly which allows them to stay home but going out puts YOU at risk of CV, and anyone in your household you are in contact with, and the person you are helping. And people die of CV.
It's being treated as if it's a normal everyday situation where you help out someone but in normal everyday situations people aren't putting their lives, and their family's lives at risk.

Does your neighbour have a computer of his own in which case he could do his own online shop, plus get an earlier slot because of his age?

You do as much as you can, op, which is great but there are limits to what any of us can do so don't feel bad. I'm sure your neighbour appreciates you very much.