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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave husband during lockdown

619 replies

MWallsb · 29/03/2020 21:53

Currently living with my husband in a remote area far away from any of my family and friends, who are all in London where I’m from originally. Since getting married last year and subsequently moving to my husband’s hometown, he’s become abusive both physically and mentally. Prior to lockdown, things were just about manageable as he’d spend long hours at work and often worked away for extended periods of time. For the last two weeks, he’s been WFH and things have become unbearable. My anxiety is through the roof and I don’t feel able to cope in the home. It has dawned on me that I need to leave the marriage sooner rather than later. I’m lucky enough to have a great support network of family and friends, however, all are in London. My sister who lives in central London and has asked me to pack my things and travel up to stay with her for my safety until the lockdown is over, after which time I can then look at a longer term plan.

I’m of course aware of the very strict rules in place at the moment with regards to non essential travel. From what I’ve read, it’s acceptable to leave home if travelling to a refuge, but it’s not permissible to leave home to stay with family elsewhere. I have both a car or a train station nearby to get me in to central London, but it’s a 2 hour journey and I’m seeing all over the news about the police stopping people to ask for evidence as to why they are travelling and issuing fines/forcing them to return back home if their reason for travelling is not permissible etc.

If I were to leave, it would have to be without my husband knowing (in the night or making a quick getaway whilst he’s out of the house). I’m terrified I might attempt to travel in to London and be stopped or forced to return home again which would have awful implications for me. I suppose I’m just looking for some advice really in terms of what to do or what others would do in my situation. I feel in desperate need of family support, but at the same time the last thing I need is to get in trouble with the law. TIA

OP posts:
puds11 · 30/03/2020 08:24

@glitterfarts very good point, my apologies, I didn’t think about the email.

myusernamewastakenbyme · 30/03/2020 08:24

Good luck Op....we are all rooting for you x

cittigirl · 30/03/2020 08:27

Good luck OP Flowers

Weebitawks · 30/03/2020 08:29

Good luck xxx

Magenta82 · 30/03/2020 08:30

Good luck x

MulticolourMophead · 30/03/2020 08:31

Another one thinking of you this morning, OP. I also left an abuser, but it took me 30 years to do so. You have an opportunity right now, so you have all my best wishes.

LemonBreeland · 30/03/2020 08:32

Just come across this thread OP. Good luck for today, I hope it all goes well.

Shallow07 · 30/03/2020 08:33

Cheering you on OP, I hope you're getting ready to get out Flowers

OtherVoices · 30/03/2020 08:35

Good luck!

aussieaussieaussieoioioi · 30/03/2020 08:36
Thanks
PolloDePrimavera · 30/03/2020 08:36

If it's his car, I'd drive to police station nearest your sister, tell them what you've done and leave it there. Wouldn't train it. Good luck!
Ps absolutely no way on earth police would send you home.

HollySideEyes · 30/03/2020 08:36

Been reading and also thinking of you OP. I was in a very similar situation once and my heart is in my mouth for you.

Even if you can't post right now ( and I know exactly why you won't be risking that ) know that you've a whole gang of MNetters supporting you and wishing you every success.

UnMumsnetty X

FaithInfinity · 30/03/2020 08:40

Just RTFT Op. Offering a handhold. Good luck!

MerryGrinchmas1 · 30/03/2020 08:41

Good luck ❤️

Saddler · 30/03/2020 08:43

All the best

InsideNo · 30/03/2020 08:43

Travel safely, OP.

EightNineTen · 30/03/2020 08:43

Good luck!

MirandaPriestly · 30/03/2020 08:43

Good luck 😘

LakieLady · 30/03/2020 08:44

Stay safe, OP, and good luck.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 30/03/2020 08:46

Good Luck Flowers

Thistlepicker · 30/03/2020 08:47

Good luck!

FallonSwift · 30/03/2020 08:48

Hoping you're on your way OP - good luck!

MissSusanStoHelit · 30/03/2020 08:52

Thinking of you OP - hope you got there safely

AgathaX · 30/03/2020 08:53

Good luck. I hope you get your chance today.

Macca84 · 30/03/2020 08:57

Good luck OP Flowers