To think I can still get away with wearing short shorts?

[Ellaandtoddler]

I’m 23 and a UK size 10 with an 18 month old dd. My legs aren’t particularly toned but I don’t think they’re completely awful! I was looking at clothes for the summer earlier (when we can finally go out!) and I came across a pair of pink shorts that I really liked the look of. I asked my dp what he thought and he said perhaps it would be best to wear trousers or 3/4 lengths now that I am a mum and that my legs aren’t completely toned! I was really annoyed! I had suggested wearing them with a white jumper/ long sleeved t-shirt so it’s not like I would be showing my stomach. When I asked him why he said that he said that whilst I am still youngish I need to dress appropriately now that I have a child. It’s taken me ages after having my dd to feel comfortable within myself and I just feel upset now. Aibu to think that I can still wear shorts?

(should have added that DP doesn't control what I wear at all, he just knows I like to dress a certain way, so if I'm not dressed like that he thinks I must be feeling out of sorts. Ex was the absolute opposite)

Listen to MrsTerryPratchet @Ellaandtoddler. She's explained exactly what's going on.

Wear the shorts. Wear the dress. Go out with your friends. You are your own person, you are not just defined by your relationship to others, and you don't have to "get away" with anything.

Tell him that when this is all over then you're going shopping for his new wardrobe, something like this should be perfect.

He hasn’t seen me as being young since I had our dd.

It's not 'young' he doesn't see you as. It's independent, sexual, a woman in your own right, a person outside your relationships. You just got a big MUM badge and now you don't get to be anything else.

That is not his choice. And it's not a choice you should make for yourself either. Frankly, this is why we still need feminism.

Order your shorts and bin your partner.

He’s controlling and abusive. I’m guessing there are many other ways he shows this behaviour. Honestly, get rid of him now before he damages your child.

forgot the image....

If he's comparing you to somebody old enough to be a grandparent, then I think he's psyching himself up for moving onto a teenager soon, unfortunately (although not really, as that'll mean you're free of his bullshittery).

It'll be the way he justifies his actions - that you're 'so old'.

Prick.

Oh! Well he can look a twat twice now...not sure why it didn't post the first time.

I have horrible legs, am almost 40, and still wear shorts. Ignore your dh

When I asked him why he said that he said that whilst I am still youngish I need to dress appropriately now that I have a child.

He has a child too, OP.

Let me guess whether he’s now dressing “appropriately” in the same way he’s expecting you to.

You've had a DD with this moron. Educate him immediately that he doesn't get to dictate to you, your DD or any female on what is 'appropriate' attire based on appearance.

What a jackass.

@MangePasTesOnglesVilain yes he’s 28

This sounds like a very slippery slope OP. He is 'okay with' you wearing your work uniform!?!

Please take this thread as a wake up call!

OK the "no bold colors" thing is just ridiculous. Combined with the "youngish" comment he wants, what, an invisible teenager?

Red flags all over the place from this bloke, OP. Has he always been this controlling?

@Thehop Supportive of how you want to be or supportive of you being how HE wants you to be? Whose idea is the "bettering" - yours or his, and how does be define "better"? And no, being happy for your partner to go out and see friends shouldn't be seen as a plus, it should be a given.

My ex partner behaved like this. Note the 'ex' part.

Sorry but what a prick. Wear the shorts with bells on

So does your DP dress "like a Dad" now?

@sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea I find your DP's comment to be just as bad!

Anyone else getting an advert for 'Ladies Support Hosiery' by the way?

@MitziK the ‘old’ thing really bothers me- it’s like I’m only an age and not a person! The lady he compares me to has short curly hair and he keeps saying I should get my hair cut like hers (I have really long straight hair)

I’m 40 and fat. I still wear short shorts to festivals. Enjoy your 20’s.

23 or 83 wear what you want.

Our neighbour is 55 and he compares me to her a lot

So having a child ages someone by 30 years overnight? Honestly, nothing this ridiculous man says is worth taking seriously. If you're not going to bin him then buy the shorts in florescent colors just to spite him.

He is supportive of you 'bettering yourself' - who's idea is that? Yours or his? You just had a baby!!

A supportive partner would not treat you this way, OP. He hasn't got a right to comment on how toned your legs are and whether you're 'allowed' to wear shorts - you aren't 4 years old and he isn't your mother.