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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be frustrated with DH over tins I have saved

254 replies

goteam · 28/03/2020 08:26

Like others, I got wind of what was coming re CV back in early February and began adding a few tins and long life items to each shop (different shops and over 6 weeks, no panic buying here). It was mainly me not DH doing this and I don't drive so was more of an effort. Because of this planning none of us have had to leave the house for over a week. I stocked up the freezer too.
Yesterday, DH seeing all the tins (not loads, maybe 25 of different things - beans, tomatoes, fruit, soup) he exclaimed 'we have loads of tins, I might start experimenting, maybe learn to make houmous'. DH isn't much of a cook but has other qualities. I got the chickpeas to use as bases for things like stews not so DH can 'experiment' with food he will only likely eat. Also we have 2 long dated houmous in the fridge (we are veggie!) WIBU to snap at him 'I didnt lug those tins home for experiments. They are for making proper meals'. Being slightly dramatic as I didnt lug them home at once but DH is generally bad at food waste, meal planning, checking dates etc so it just wound me up. The tins didnt just appear, I got them and he like many others only realised the severity of this a few weeks ago and laughed at me stocking up on tins. If it wasn't for me one of us would be queuing for the supermarket right now but as it is we have plenty of food to last a few months if careful.

OP posts:
DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 28/03/2020 08:26

Yabu

8by8 · 28/03/2020 08:28

Yanbu. It’s a stressful time and seems like he wasn’t taking this seriously, no wonder you snapped.

HeartyGreenSalad · 28/03/2020 08:28

Totally agree with you. The people who don't go shopping for food just don't get it

slipperywhensparticus · 28/03/2020 08:29

You can hardly get hummus wrong I'm assuming you will eat it

bucketofgin · 28/03/2020 08:30

Use your words?

DippyAvocado · 28/03/2020 08:30

Send him to do the shopping. That's what I told my DH he would have to do if he insisted on cooking the last of the oven chips, which I can't get for love nor money, to serve with a meal that I had already cooked potatoes for. My DH hasn't set foot in a supermarket in about a month so I don't think really gets how hard it is to find some stuff. I will be sending him out with a list next time we need stuff.

sueelleker · 28/03/2020 08:32

Tell him if he makes something and it doesn't work out, he's got to eat it anyway. And no, YANBU.

LimpidPools · 28/03/2020 08:32

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. Mine is being similar. Not experimenting, just greedy.

He will only make meals (for himself) of things he really wants. Which means using up all the eggs and butter on extravagant breakfasts. I meanwhile do all the main meal cooking and make proper meals, trying to balance the things that need eating with things from the storecupboard and then the rest of the time, get stuck with leftovers

SoupDragon · 28/03/2020 08:33

TBH there was no need to snap, a conversation would have worked.

MissPoldark · 28/03/2020 08:35

not loads, maybe 25 of different things - beans, tomatoes, fruit, soup)

Sorry, that is loads, especially seeing as it sounds like it’s just the two of you. No wonder people are finding empty shelves.

Sceptre86 · 28/03/2020 08:37

Yanbu,I understand your frustration. Hummus can go wrong if you are a crap cook, also why make it if you have two tubs in the fridge already. It would be a waste at a time where all food waste should absolutely be avoided!

Coughcough101 · 28/03/2020 08:40

25 tins. Blimey. We are a family of 6 in isolation and not a tin in site. You can buy dried pulses and beans etc and make it yourself. Takes up way less space and lasts longer and makes more. Yabu to have stored so many especially when you did it ahead of the panic buying

Coughcough101 · 28/03/2020 08:40

However I agree i wouldn't want to waste the things i had bought on experiments

Imstillskanking · 28/03/2020 08:42

Yanbu. It is really not the time to waste food.

MysteryFrog · 28/03/2020 08:43

@MissPoldark she said she bought them a few at a time, from different shops, over the course of several weeks, at least a month ago. She’s not responsible for the current empty shelves!

middleager · 28/03/2020 08:45

Yanbu
I'm being really careful with food and my husband has made zero adjustments.

Sexnotgender · 28/03/2020 08:45

YANBU. But don’t get mad, tell him.

playthestation · 28/03/2020 08:46

Tbh a tin of chickpeas is t going to make a big difference is it? He wants to use the food you bought to make himself something to eat. Basically. YABU. You are allowed to buy tins of food still.

MysteryFrog · 28/03/2020 08:46

Considering self isolation is supposed to be two weeks, plus up to two weeks quarantine before that if you know you came into contact with someone who has it, 25 tins for two people is fine. Three meals a day for two weeks for two people is 84 meals!

Original poster
goteam · 28/03/2020 08:47

misspoldark there are 4 of us. Nobody would find an empty shelf because of me as these tins are from 6 different shops including local convenience stores, health stores and supermarkets over 6 weeks. DH has been to the shop a few times over the past few weeks for bread and milk and we have expressly agreed to get no more than we need. People like me keeping out of shops over the past few weeks haven't done anything wrong. We planned ahead.

Sorry other DHs are being flagrant with food. We dont need houmous and only he would eat it. My plan for one tin if chickpeas is a curry that makes 4 meals that we both like served with rice.

OP posts:
VegetableMunge · 28/03/2020 08:47

Sorry, that is loads, especially seeing as it sounds like it’s just the two of you. No wonder people are finding empty shelves.

The OP stated that she started doing this in February and didn't panic buy. People who had the sense to identify this coming early on and stock up sufficiently to allow themselves to stay out of the shops now are not the reason for empty shelves. That would be the people who are buying extra now.

Somebodystired · 28/03/2020 08:48

YANBU.

I tried to be strategic and not selfish in preparing - at the end of Feb, I made a 2 week meal plan consisting of what I already had in the cupboards, and then boxed this up. So since then every food shop has just been whatever we need to make it through to the next food shop, whilst knowing I have enough for a couple of weeks if we cant get out. This includes some treats because we have DSS(10) and DS(3).

I have had to remind DSS on several occasions that what is in the box is NOT up for grabs!

Oilyoilyoilgob · 28/03/2020 08:49

I’ve been adding bits since January, you could see this coming so 25 tins is not excessive-there’s two of us (one veggie) so similar set up to you op 😊

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all, they can be used in soup, stews, to make veggie burgers with etc and you already have humous in!

Have a chat with him, could you both find a recipe online that you’ve both wanted to try using the tins, but you’ve never done it? It’d be a good time to try it together and solves the issue of him wanting to boredom cook!

Lockdownshockdown · 28/03/2020 08:51

It's really odd, because lots of people are using this time to start home cooking and making things they havent made before. And thata been generally agreed it's a good thing. One of the benefits of being in lockdown.

Do you really only have 1 tin of chickpeas? If so tell him to wait until the next shop, and he can go and get an extra. Supermarkets are reporting their stick is decent now. He can have a tin to experiment with and theres still base for a meal. And tell him to wait until the humours in the fridge has been eaten.

Though why you have 2 tubs if only he eats it, is odd. The tubs dont have a long shelf life.

Original poster
goteam · 28/03/2020 08:52

playthestation there are only a couple of tins of chickpeas and it was the general flippant attitude that now is a good time for experimenting (which can involve throwing bad experiments away). Tried and tested recipes are called for at the moment
I'm pretty chilled so when I say snapped I actually just said 'the tins aren't for experimenting, they are for cooking proper meals'in a calm voice!!

OP posts: