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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be frustrated with DH over tins I have saved

254 replies

goteam · 28/03/2020 08:26

Like others, I got wind of what was coming re CV back in early February and began adding a few tins and long life items to each shop (different shops and over 6 weeks, no panic buying here). It was mainly me not DH doing this and I don't drive so was more of an effort. Because of this planning none of us have had to leave the house for over a week. I stocked up the freezer too.
Yesterday, DH seeing all the tins (not loads, maybe 25 of different things - beans, tomatoes, fruit, soup) he exclaimed 'we have loads of tins, I might start experimenting, maybe learn to make houmous'. DH isn't much of a cook but has other qualities. I got the chickpeas to use as bases for things like stews not so DH can 'experiment' with food he will only likely eat. Also we have 2 long dated houmous in the fridge (we are veggie!) WIBU to snap at him 'I didnt lug those tins home for experiments. They are for making proper meals'. Being slightly dramatic as I didnt lug them home at once but DH is generally bad at food waste, meal planning, checking dates etc so it just wound me up. The tins didnt just appear, I got them and he like many others only realised the severity of this a few weeks ago and laughed at me stocking up on tins. If it wasn't for me one of us would be queuing for the supermarket right now but as it is we have plenty of food to last a few months if careful.

OP posts:
TooTypical · 28/03/2020 09:44

It'll be interesting to see if - in areas where food supply is not so great, or if problems deteriorate - whether children become less fussy. 'That's what there is. Eat it or have the last stale crust for toast'.

It seems weird to me that children must always be indulged. (Oh they must have their fish fingers, as usual) But partners never. (No you can't use a tin of chick peas to experiment.) Though I can see that it's hard for kids not seeing their friends, and having their favourite food might stop them for being grouchy.

Ideally, if shopping trips are supposed to be only for necessary restocking, it would be a good time to move towards everyone eating the same thing, more or less.

But I know that families are complicated.

Original poster
goteam · 28/03/2020 09:44

candyfloss we are going to start getting a weekly veg box from a greengrocer. I don't want to go to the shops if I don't have to. As sexnotgender said, tins form the basis of veggie meals anyway. Tinned beans and pulses are our protein source. DH does actually like my cooking so I'm not depriving him by utilising the chickpeas for a curry. It's win win whereas nobody's a winner with his homemade tahini-less and lemon-less houmous....

OP posts:
Tableclothing · 28/03/2020 09:45

So you have Tahini? hmm

What's so bad about having tahini? We have tahini - have I done something wrong?

BogRollBOGOF · 28/03/2020 09:45

YANBU this is the time to use food wisely, not play with it and use up long life supplies before fresh.

We've gradually built up a store in the same way, a couple of trips to Costco, an extra couple of tins here and there since the news was breaking in Wuhan. Before the news broke about Italy just after half term, we had already avoided London and gone on a city break to a smaller, less international city. Over the past fortnight as shelves have been stripped bare, I've been able to by-pass the last few straggling shelves of supplies and top-up on fresh and the more abundant goods, leaving the scarce supplies for those who need them.

With a ravenous family, I am still going food shopping, but for fresh food (especially with everyone in the house full time, no school dinners, meals out). We could have at least 2-3 weeks of not going out, and potentially the children taking control of the kitchen so the easy and tinned foods are being saved for a situation of members of the household falling ill. I would take a dim view of DH compromising that buffer (in our case he saw the need and I supported it)

With the supermarkets controlling numbers going in and maximum quantities per line, the stock is staying on the shelves much better than 10 days ago.

EmeraldShamrock · 28/03/2020 09:45

I am having issues with DP and my stockpile. He is piling on pounds courtesy of the extra food, I've bought extra for 5 weeks, it's gone every week and he is getting fatter. I don't want to have to say it to him but I will it is annoying me.

Original poster
goteam · 28/03/2020 09:48

midsomermurderess what does any website really achieve for anyone with anything though?! I think its achieving very little for you as you have taken the time to comment on and presumably read a thread you aren't interested in. I'm finding it useful knowing that I'm not the only one stressing about food waste and a bit of a welcome distraction to be honest.

OP posts:
Ghostontoast · 28/03/2020 09:48

I feel your pain.

I go to the supermarket by bicycle, and squeezed the odd additional bag of flour or packet of pasta into the panniers when I could. The last time I cycled back I nearly fell off getting on the bike due to the shopping load tipping it.

OH wants to hold a household bake-off competition, which would possibly use up all the flour, eggs, sugar and butter in one fell swoop.

Last time he drove to the supermarket he returned with a boot-full of beer, fizzy drinks and oven chips (skin on ones mind).

Omashu · 28/03/2020 09:49

He is bu. Houmous is best made with soaked chickpeas! (And not soaked tin chickpeas)

TiptopJ · 28/03/2020 09:51

My husband is a picker and now hes a home hes snacking every hour or so especially in the evening. He goes to bed later than me and I'm coming down in the morning to find empty jars and packets that hes raided overnight, these were treats that I'd bough to last us over several weeks. The thing that's really annoying me though is he keeps eating our toddlers snacks. Our toddler eats mostly the same as we do but I theres a few specific things i buy because of their lower salt/sugar content that are there purely as a treat for him. It's very frustrating

BMW6 · 28/03/2020 09:51

I have at least 40 tins - I always have had since we bought this house 12 years ago. The last time I bought any tinned goods was over 3 weeks ago - three tins of mixed beans and 2 tins toms from Aldi.

I hate food shopping so only do one big shop a month, so not because I am a prepper.

OP YANBU

wowfudge · 28/03/2020 09:53

We have tahini - you have to buy large jar and making houmous only uses a couple of tablespoons at a time.

We have a Brexit freezer and well-stocked pantry so our planning for a no deal Brexit has paid off unexpectedly for this.

TheLadyAnneNeville · 28/03/2020 09:53

Send your DH to shop. Let him stand out (for what seems forever, exposing himself to COVID -19) in a socially distancing queue and then he might “get it”.

TildaKauskumholm · 28/03/2020 09:59

I would see 25 tins as a normal non-emergency store cupboard level... we all have different shopping habits.

lowlandLucky · 28/03/2020 10:06

I would lock my in the shed if he even thought about it never mind mentioned it

Original poster
goteam · 28/03/2020 10:07

TiptopJ oh my, I think that would send me over the edge!!! We have fully stocked cupboards as well as the tin stash and to be fair DH does get that things like jars of antipasti are for meals not just snack raiding. We had a sensible discussion last night fter houmous-gate about using 1 tin of the dolmades (we have 2 tins, long life, great veggie option to have in the cupboard btw), a few from a jar of red peppers, houmous (from the fridge!!!) and olives with some pitta bread from the freezer for lunch today and over a few more days. He got it. It doesnt come easy to him though. I have to explain. It is a bit tiring.

OP posts:
foamrolling · 28/03/2020 10:07

Honestly, I can't imagine feeling unable to use a tin of chickpeas in my own home. It's not the time to experiment with loads of ingredients and chuck loads of food out, sure. But 1 tin of chickpeas? If you're going out for milk and fresh stuff from time to time he can just pick up another. Does it really matter if only he eats it as long as it gets eaten? You're talking about someone having one tin of chickpeas to themselves, not an entire bag of quorn or whatever.

Wannabangbang · 28/03/2020 10:08

Yanbu stock's need to be used sparingly especially if both of you end up not being able to get out for a while x

shreddednips · 28/03/2020 10:08

Yanbu.

We have some stuff in the freezer that can be done quickly to make veggie meals- burgers, sausages etc. DH used to drive me mad by taking one or two of each thing to make a sort of veggie mixed grill- so he'd have a burger, two sausages and some nuggets for example. So he'd be eating the protein for three different meals at once, totally fucking with my meal plans. He doesn't do it any more after I got very cross.

If you're the one doing the mental load of buying, planning and mainly cooking, then other people shouldn't create extra work by messing with your carefully laid plans. He needs to appreciate how much work it is.

I think that the issues with getting hold of food have highlighted some serious problems with the way that people eat, I know they have in our house. It was only when I knew that I can't just pop to the corner shop any time I feel like it and get whatever I want that I realised how quickly things get picked at by a family who are constantly eating something, and things get wasted because DH eats what he fancies at that second instead of thinking about what needs to be used. I really think this experience will change the way our family eats forever instead of taking plentiful food for granted.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 28/03/2020 10:10

I bought tahini, chick peas and bottled lemon juice weeks ago so I could make store cupboard hummus.

DH suddenly got very sensible when he went to the supermarket a couple of weeks ago.

Original poster
goteam · 28/03/2020 10:11

Omg ghostontoast how infuriating!! A bake-off! So wasteful. At least oven chips are quite handy to have in the current times.

I also did my back in a few times with the tins and uht milk (which dh flatly refused to buy as ''its gross' but added to cereal or hot chocolate with mini marshmallows will at least be calcium for the kids if we cant get fresh)

OP posts:
LannieDuck · 28/03/2020 10:15

I think these useless partners need to be given the job of meal planning, shopping and cooking for all of next weeks' meals/snacks.

If you're used to doing it yourself (so it's not too much of a burden for one person), why can't he do it for a change?

Marnie76 · 28/03/2020 10:17

YANBU my DH has taken the piss out of me for having my post brexit cupboard. I just made sure we always had backups of all non perishables over the last year. Well who’s laughing now DH 🧐. If he tried to experiment with any of my ‘precious’ he’d know about it.

Morningshere · 28/03/2020 10:19

I can see from you and your DH perspective... It is frustrating if you've made an effort to buy enough so you don't need to go to the shops - however - if your DH wants to cook and experiment then let him! It can be a long day in the house anyway and he's obviously wanting to use the time to learn something new! Why not get the kids involved? Or even say to him you were planning on using the chickpeas to make a curry and ask him to make it instead?
It's an uncertain and stressful time as it is and it's really not worth getting upset over a tin of chickpeas.

DontCallMeShitley · 28/03/2020 10:19

So you have Tahini?
I prefer humous without tahini, it is not essential.

I have always had a good selection of tins in the house, and a full freezer. I was brought up in hard times and everything my father grew was bottled, pickled, or stored in the dark to be used for the rest of the year. My mother would buy tins here and there and put them in the cupboard. I use the freezer for excess vegetables and reduced things.

I am going to be very grateful for all this now, as we have no money coming in. When you have lived through hard times it becomes habit to prepare for the next hard times. Having lived on one small loaf a week and a pot of soup made from leftover veg at the market for several months when I was studying to get a better job and no help from anyone I know the importance of keeping some tins in. In those days one small loaf had enough slices for a sandwich every day for a week, I had to count them. No breakfast, just a sandwich made with spread and a bowl of soup for dinner.

1forsorrow · 28/03/2020 10:22

A couple of years ago we got snowed in, it was a nightmare particularly as DH has to take tablets several times a day with food. I was getting desperate. So for the following winter I stocked up, and did it again in October. I don't want to live on tinned food but if we were desperate it was there. It is useful now as I am using it with the food I can get so no need to go hungry. Back in February I did the same as OP, I also got treats as I realised not getting out could be miserable so I made sure I had plenty of tea bags and chocolate biscuits, mid morning cuppa and a biscuit does alot to raise spirits, I am a non drinker but got a few bottles for DH.

I don't think it is a problem, it means I haven't had to add to the panic buying, I haven't had to shop much and I still have the basics left, stuff like baked beans, tuna, pasta. I won't be bothering other people to get me stuff so leaving them free to help others.

The only thing I might start to stress about is toilet rolls as I will need some soon. Is the toilet roll situation improving?