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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be frustrated with DH over tins I have saved

254 replies

goteam · 28/03/2020 08:26

Like others, I got wind of what was coming re CV back in early February and began adding a few tins and long life items to each shop (different shops and over 6 weeks, no panic buying here). It was mainly me not DH doing this and I don't drive so was more of an effort. Because of this planning none of us have had to leave the house for over a week. I stocked up the freezer too.
Yesterday, DH seeing all the tins (not loads, maybe 25 of different things - beans, tomatoes, fruit, soup) he exclaimed 'we have loads of tins, I might start experimenting, maybe learn to make houmous'. DH isn't much of a cook but has other qualities. I got the chickpeas to use as bases for things like stews not so DH can 'experiment' with food he will only likely eat. Also we have 2 long dated houmous in the fridge (we are veggie!) WIBU to snap at him 'I didnt lug those tins home for experiments. They are for making proper meals'. Being slightly dramatic as I didnt lug them home at once but DH is generally bad at food waste, meal planning, checking dates etc so it just wound me up. The tins didnt just appear, I got them and he like many others only realised the severity of this a few weeks ago and laughed at me stocking up on tins. If it wasn't for me one of us would be queuing for the supermarket right now but as it is we have plenty of food to last a few months if careful.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 28/03/2020 09:19

Just tell him that you need to consume the fresh food first and then the tins. Have a conversation like grown-ups.
People are a bit extra snappy now so you should probably apologise for that and then get on with the conversation. Meal planning only works when everyone knows and are on board with hit.

Original poster
goteam · 28/03/2020 09:20

Dylaninthemovies I know, why are prepared people getting called out for 'stripping the shelves'!! I just think people are frustrated that they didn't plan ahead or had their head in the sand and it's easy to blame 'hoarders' and 'stockpilers'. I suppose if people can't get hold of food they are hitting out at those who do have food. We do a plastic free loo roll subscription so as we have just had our 3 month delivery I suppose we are dreaded loo roll hoarders too!

OP posts:
DippyAvocado · 28/03/2020 09:20

You are allowed to buy tins of food still.

If you can get any!

I am always quite well stocked and have a couple of tins each of chickpeas/kidney beans/mixed beans and a bag of lentils in the cupboard. Good thing to as I haven't seen any canned or dried beans on the supermarket shelves in 3 weeks.

Carrie7469 · 28/03/2020 09:21

25 tins doesn’t seem like loads to me.

lljkk · 28/03/2020 09:23

1 tin of chickpeas makes 4 curry meals for 4 people? Confused
What is that, like 8 chickpeas per person per meal? Confused

Just HOW big are your tins?

How many tins exactly do you have, OP?
I don't care if they are 25 different types or all chickpeas.
Go count them, one tin = +1. How many tins are there.

Bonus if you tell us what size of each. I'm hoping you won't say 32 oz.

Imstillskanking · 28/03/2020 09:23

You are allowed to buy tins of food still.

I rarely see much tinned food these days. The supermarkets near me have bugger all.

Sexnotgender · 28/03/2020 09:24

25 tins isn’t loads. I probably have more than that. We’re vegetarian too and it’s equivalent to having some chicken and mince in the freezer.

I’ve got maybe 2/3 chickpeas, same again of green lentils, black beans etc. Nothing OTT but enough to make food for us.

Original poster
goteam · 28/03/2020 09:27

brefugee it wasn't really snapping as I said up thread more just a terse reply. He has been winding me up generally doing things like opening long life rice cakes for snacks when we have fresh bread to use. I'm not sure why adults need snacks anyway for a start just have proper meals. Also giving the kids freezer fish fingers for dinner when there are fresh sausages that he bought in the fridge that need eating (kids aren't veggie!) I try to talk to him about using fresh food first, checking dates etc. I have to ask him to check the date on things like orange juice when he goes to the shop and always have. He will buy a Tropicana (not cheap) with tomorrows date on and when I point it out just say, I'll just make sure I drink it all all tomorrow then. Ffs. This was in times of plenty and he needs to adjust his mindset now.

OP posts:
Dylaninthemovies1 · 28/03/2020 09:27

I know @goteam! By the time folk were grabbing all the loo roll and hand wash and tins, I was saying to DH, don’t bother with that sort of stuff if you see it: we have enough, and someone else will need it. It’s the complete opposite of panic buying

lottiegarbanzo · 28/03/2020 09:28

Hummus really can go wrong. It's easy to add too much tahini, or lemon, or garlic, then you can't dilute that flavour out without adding another tin of chickpeas. Balancing the flavours ot taste is hard, to mimic shop-bought almost impossible.

Sounds like he hasn't caught up mentally with the current situation and the need to plan ahead with food.

Original poster
goteam · 28/03/2020 09:31

lljkk yes a regular tin of chickpeas will make 4 meals. Add a tin of tomatoes or just tomato puree and stock if you dont have tinned tomatoes. Add spices, frozen veg and serve with rice and perhaps homemade chapati. 4 meals. I think sometimes people are used to overeating and I can be like that too. A normal food portion isn't supposed to be massive.

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 28/03/2020 09:32

bought in february remember, when there were loads in the shops, and the just in time ordering was still working. And OP has not been out trying to compete with others for tins when there is a shortage. also buying more in february would mean that the supermarkets were ordering more so there would have been more in the shops.

Hide the tins op.

lottiegarbanzo · 28/03/2020 09:33

On reading all your posts, sounds like he is completely clueless generally, because he's never the one doing the budgeting, meal planning and shopping.

You could set him a project-planning 'task' of working out how to make a defined set of ingredients last a week for the family. Then show him how you'd do it.

BlackeyedSusan · 28/03/2020 09:34

I have had to ban dd from opening anything until I have checked the dates. three times she has opened the longest date thing.

Original poster
goteam · 28/03/2020 09:35

Sorry lljkk I mean it makes 4 portions. So that would be 2 meals for me and DH!! Apologies if unclear. The kids wont touch my home cooking hence a freezer full of fish fingers, nuggets and lots of tins of baked beans (which I have had to remind DH are for the kids). Kids are fussy eaters sadly and current events aren't changing their mindset....

OP posts:
malmi · 28/03/2020 09:35

A tin of beans is 400 calories. Average daily calorie need for one man and one woman to maintain body weight would be 4,500 2,500 for the man and 2,000 for the woman). So if you had nothing else in, 25 tins is 2 and bit days of food. Not unreasonable to have in stock.

Candyfloss99 · 28/03/2020 09:36

The shops are full of fresh fruit and vegetables. You really don't need to be eating out of tins.

Siameasy · 28/03/2020 09:37

Yanbu my DH has had to be reined in.
Eg using frozen veg before fresh 🔫 after being told not to
Trying to eat stuff I’d saved as leftovers for the next day just because it’s there and you’re bored
Not rotating stuff in the fridge/being oblivious to the concept of things going off
Basically not thinking - what’s new?!

Sexnotgender · 28/03/2020 09:39

The shops are full of fresh fruit and vegetables. You really don't need to be eating out of tins.

But they form the basis of lots of vegetarian meals regardless of whether we’re in lockdown. I always have tinned or dried pulses in.

Original poster
goteam · 28/03/2020 09:39

blackeyedsusan they were hidden but not very well hence his 'we have loads of tins, I'm going to start experimenting' comment!! I guess he thinks the tin fairy delivered them.

lottiegarbanzo that's a good idea. DH does often do the shopping but I have to send him the list. Like, he doesnt know what we need if I dont tell him. If I say 'you just decide' he will forget key things and I just have to go again.

OP posts:
middleager · 28/03/2020 09:40

I also collected tins over several weeks from different shops from January OP. This means that I wasn't scrambling around adding to the panic buying. Sensible.

I'm also veggie and live off tinned tomatoes, so glad I have some cans, which I bulk out with lentils.

The same people giving you a hard time were probably part of the "it's just the flu" brigade.

gamerchick · 28/03/2020 09:41

Sorry, that is loads, especially seeing as it sounds like it’s just the two of you. No wonder people are finding empty shelves

Man you'd hate to see my stores. I don't need to go to food shopping for around 3 months. Oddly I havent been in weeks either. No stripping shelves here.

If anyone has any sense and the ability, after this is done they would have a more decent supply of food in to avoid this shit.. yanno when the shops can cope.

OP, I wouldn't be doing gentle voice. Tell him straight. If you're re not capable of a snarl, then hide the things if he can't be trusted.

Northernwarrior · 28/03/2020 09:43

Tin wars.

ByeByeMissAmericanPie · 28/03/2020 09:44

I hear you OP.

I think we are all stressed over food and its availability... and trying to lessen our trips out.

My teen opened the fridge yesterday and munched (as a snack) the beautiful artisan Italian style sausage roll that I’d purchased from our local deli, and had waited a week for... to serve for lunch today.

He’s just going to get salad. And a piece of bread.

I’m trying to impress upon this family that just opening the fridge and consuming stuff is JUST NOT ON at the mo.

midsomermurderess · 28/03/2020 09:44

Speak to him about it. What do you think this website is going to achieve for you.