To be frustrated with DH over tins I have saved

[goteam]

Like others, I got wind of what was coming re CV back in early February and began adding a few tins and long life items to each shop (different shops and over 6 weeks, no panic buying here). It was mainly me not DH doing this and I don't drive so was more of an effort. Because of this planning none of us have had to leave the house for over a week. I stocked up the freezer too.
Yesterday, DH seeing all the tins (not loads, maybe 25 of different things - beans, tomatoes, fruit, soup) he exclaimed 'we have loads of tins, I might start experimenting, maybe learn to make houmous'. DH isn't much of a cook but has other qualities. I got the chickpeas to use as bases for things like stews not so DH can 'experiment' with food he will only likely eat. Also we have 2 long dated houmous in the fridge (we are veggie!) WIBU to snap at him 'I didnt lug those tins home for experiments. They are for making proper meals'. Being slightly dramatic as I didnt lug them home at once but DH is generally bad at food waste, meal planning, checking dates etc so it just wound me up. The tins didnt just appear, I got them and he like many others only realised the severity of this a few weeks ago and laughed at me stocking up on tins. If it wasn't for me one of us would be queuing for the supermarket right now but as it is we have plenty of food to last a few months if careful.

Wow. I have 25 tins just of baked beans! Been prepping for weeks as I saw this coming, I have boxes and boxes of tins, soups, beans, spam, stewed steak, carrots, tomatoes, peas, tuna, salmon, carnation, rice pudding, fruit. . Got bags of pasta, rice, etc. My freezer is full. I am vulnerable and am not going out at all for the next few months. There are 3 of us. 25 tins is nothing

Haven’t read all the pages but I can empathise with you over that.

On another note. Jamie Oliver was making a curry on his new show and it was chickpeas ( and chicken) and looked delicious perhaps you could find it and make it together. It is always good to try another curry. That way you would have some control over what he is using. If you teach him some skills he might give you a night off. It has taken me a long time but DH can cook a few meals as well as I can now. He still puts weird combinations sometimes but I try to ignore that.

@Homkaismycat then he doesn't get to eat your "shitty" stash then does he? Easy as that. What an entitled wanker.
I have never been so grateful to be single just me and my DD here. Ex would have torn through my food stash - just like a PP he would use ingredients for three main meals to cook himself something only he would eat. He would even eat the cooking chocolate if I didn't hide it well enough.

YANBU do men never ever see the long game - it's always about what they want to do today.

Mine isn't like that. He's got an inventory. A delivery of a veg and a meat box, plus milk, arrived this morning earlier than expected from a local farm shop. The fridge struggles a bit so he wants it to now stay shut for 4 hours to make sure everything we've added will get chilled properly and last the week.

He'd done a bit of a brexit stash but gradually added to it jan/feb.
How did people see this coming in January?

By listening to the news, knowing what R0 meant and how exponentials work. As soon as it was apparent that asymptomatic people could spread it, it was pretty clear what might happen. If it hadn't, we'd still have used the stuff eventually.

I've just had a late breakfast of pitta with almond butter and a can of unchilled coke fro

Thanks all.yes, he is like that with most stuff..all have to certain brands etc.. he thinks this is everywhere available for him.
Like I have my last Ocado order next week, can’t get more.. so he just said we will all go to the shop and he will choose the fancy stuff himself..
Like today he wants Cadbury choc, telling me to go out to get it. I said I’m not queueing for fucking chocolate. Of course he won’t go out. It’s me who has to go as apparently nothing wrong with me...( I’m high risk)
He is fucker.. I must say.. but that’s entirely different story guys. Don’t want to talk about it on top of this shitty Corona thing..
Thanks all.

By the way I normally have 25 tins/jars in the cupboard. We live in the country so I have always had a fall back stash in case I cannot get to the shops. DH worked away (now retired) and if I was ill or the kids were we didn’t starve. I also taught all my kids to cook. When I was in hospital once DS 1 looked after the rest for five days when he was 16. My BF helped out but said he was managing really well.

25 tins isn’t a lot and OP said she just added to shopping each time that isn’t hoarding. Hoarding is buying trolleys full of several items like some people were bragging about on here. Yes they will be smug now but at the detriment to some others.

mutatedcat the tin stash is separate to our already full cupboards I admit. I always like full cupboards. We do also have a decent supply of pasta, uht milk, juice, biscuits, dried fruit etc. Again, all bought from different shops over 6 weeks or so pre panic buying madness!

YANBU OP

I can see exactly why you are frustrated.

In our house I do all of the shopping and 99% of the cooking. So i know exactly what we have in and what needs using up first etc.

DS20 started cooking a dish for his own dinner. I was slightly grumpy with him as he used two tins of tomatoes for it and ALL the fresh garlic. I had to explain to him that whilst I am pleased he is cooking, he needs to run things by me first as I am stock control. I can't (and won't ) just nip to the shops right now.

But I don't think YABU to have plenty of tins in store. I always do as shop at Costco regularly and have space for storage. (wish I'd got some tinned toms on my last visit though:) )

We have food/tins in the kitchen cupboards for everyday use, and an extra crate of tins/rice/cereal/long life milk/etc in the spare room. The food in the crate is in case one of us gets ill and we have to self-isolate, and is not to be touched otherwise. Everything in the cupboards is fair game. Splitting our food that way seemed the easiest way of ensuring not all of it gets used up just because it's there.

And @Homka, your husband doesn't sound very pleasant. I hope you're okay

DH is generally bad at food waste, meal planning, checking dates etc.

Why can't he do these things? It's hardly rocket science.

Let him experiment and chill out. It's not a big deal, others have greater problems to worry about right now.

Honestly, so many married to these selfish oinks and fools. There's nothing sweet about this. Have an adult conversation with him. And in the future, stop enabling men like this by assigning them their share of the life work and leaving them to it.

Next you’ll be complaining about your DH never cooking and how he’s sitting around the house all day while you are always in the kitchen. He’s bored and cooking can be a fun hobby. So long as the food is eaten it doesn’t matter if the chickpeas are in a curry or in hummous.

Personally, if my DH wants to practice his cooking skills even if it’s something as simple as hummous, I’m happy to let him loose in the kitchen.

A spoon of plain yoghurt in home made humus without tahini is really nice.

YANBU either!

Let him experiment and chill out. It's not a big deal, others have greater problems to worry about right now.

That's such a lazy argument.

So, just for example, if someone else's cat has died you are not allowed worry if your cat is missing?

unacorda he has simply never had to worry about money. As others have mentioned he doesn't take on the mental load. He feels he has to announce to the world if he hoovers, puts the bins out, does the washing up but he doesn't see the hidden work that I do. That includes keeping everything topped up and running smoothly. Loo rolls, just appear in the bathroom, wrapper in the bin because I have sorted it. The food supplies I quietly built for the security and wellbeing of the family and all surfaces are quietly cleaned by me with no announcement or ceremony. Washing washed, dried and put away so nobody knows but if he puts a wash on its all huffing and puffing about everything that needs doing in the flat. Cups and plates he leaves on his desk are quietly spirited away and washed up but because I make it all seem effortless and don't bang on about it he doesn't notice. A bit of a twat really but I'm sure im just noticing all this more as we are all living on top of each other.

DS was constantly going in the fridge to forage (11, eats like a teenager) has calmed down a bit now as I kept snapping at him like the kitchen police every time he went in there. He's exasperated with me as wants to snack like he always does but I'm concerned with making our supplies last as long as poss so I don't have to shop more than once a week - and also that he's not at school and taking part in his normal physical activities. Such a hard balance to strike and I don't like being the bad guy. We have a set 3 meals a day as normal and that's plenty.

If he must experiment, why can't he make a proper meal that would have to be cooked anyway and that will feed everyone, rather than duplicating something you already have two tubs of in the fridge?

So you have Tahini?
This made me wonder. I mostly have more tanihi in the house than chickpeas, am I the only one? The stuff lasts for ages and I use it as a sandwich spread as well or mixed with runny yoghurt for a salad dressing.

I like the suggestion that he needs to eat his experiments and that there is no throwing away. He should also first finish what is in the fridge.

unacorda to be blunt because he isn't very good at cooking. I am and life's to short to eat crap food just to be polite!!! I am happy to be the family chef.

YANBU. Eggs are like the holy grail in my house atm. I won’t allow dd to do any baking as, bless her, the results are “interesting” at the best of times. I feel a bit mean coz I know she’s bored but I’m NOT wasting eggs!

But he can go out and replace them. Plenty of food in the shops. He's bored. Let him play and you might even like what he cooks.

Nobody would find an empty shelf because of me as these tins are from 6 different shops including local convenience stores, health stores and supermarkets over 6 weeks

Isn't this kind of fundamental misunderstanding exactly why the shops are all empty?

The way the supply chain works is that supermarkets know exactly how much they sell, and they buy in enough to cover that demand. If everyone suddenly buys 25 cans more than normal over just a few weeks, then supply will not meet demand. Doesn't matter if it's all from different stores.

But he can go out and replace them. Plenty of food in the shops.

It's patchy depending on where you are. So, maybe next time someone has to do the shopping, you send him with a list and tell him to also buy anything he wants to experiment with.