To be frustrated with DH over tins I have saved

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Like others, I got wind of what was coming re CV back in early February and began adding a few tins and long life items to each shop (different shops and over 6 weeks, no panic buying here). It was mainly me not DH doing this and I don't drive so was more of an effort. Because of this planning none of us have had to leave the house for over a week. I stocked up the freezer too.
Yesterday, DH seeing all the tins (not loads, maybe 25 of different things - beans, tomatoes, fruit, soup) he exclaimed 'we have loads of tins, I might start experimenting, maybe learn to make houmous'. DH isn't much of a cook but has other qualities. I got the chickpeas to use as bases for things like stews not so DH can 'experiment' with food he will only likely eat. Also we have 2 long dated houmous in the fridge (we are veggie!) WIBU to snap at him 'I didnt lug those tins home for experiments. They are for making proper meals'. Being slightly dramatic as I didnt lug them home at once but DH is generally bad at food waste, meal planning, checking dates etc so it just wound me up. The tins didnt just appear, I got them and he like many others only realised the severity of this a few weeks ago and laughed at me stocking up on tins. If it wasn't for me one of us would be queuing for the supermarket right now but as it is we have plenty of food to last a few months if careful.

Have some of you just not noticed the coronavirus?

Snap all you like, some guys don't just get it at all. From now on tell him he's doing all the shopping and give him a list to work from, saying not to come back without them..... 😁

YANBU. It takes a lot of time and effort to get food right now and plan meals, with the added worry about having enough in the case you need to quarantine for 2 weeks if one of you gets ill. I get the rage every time DH mentions being in the mood for some dish. We have kids, no car and no delivery slots booked.

Once again, you are lacking in the skill of comprehension ChazsBrilliantAttitude. You aren't one to talk as it seems like you are only interested in telling anyone who disagrees with your ideas that they can't possibly know what they are talking about. If you actually wanted a discussion than you'd not be shutting down every poster who disagrees with you, which is what I've noticed you do on other threads. I'm sure you are really struggling with this lock down so I hope you find ways of looking after yourself, you seem particularly anxious. Hope you feel better

YANBU... not only that but I'm utterly gobsmacked that women put up with the selfish behaviour detailed on this thread?

This isn't the 1st time I've seen threads like this and I've no idea why you all put up with it?

My DH isn't perfect (there are some days I wish Joleene WOULD take my man) but seriously? Husbands and dads making themselves meals and not making other people meals, eating all the food and leaving the leftovers and other similar horror stories.

The fact is these are men not teenagers, they understand just fine that what they are doing is wrong but because you MARRY these idiots you are giving them a free pass: it doesn't matter if you tell them off, you're still there so you're teaching them nothing.

I would have kicked my DH to the kirb straight away if he displayed this type of behaviour: it's not about the food it's the attitude behind it that's the issue.

As for you OP: just say no and explain why. There are issues with food supply and free movement...now is NOT the time to be experimenting. Make it clear it is not up for debate and if he proceeds he will be doing all the shopping until this debacle is over.

I always have tins of plum toms, beans, chickpeas etc in larder. That’s not stockpiling, it is just good sense so that you can cook a meal without rushing out for basics. But I’m probably much older than the rest of you.

Today DH was going to go to the main supermarket and queue with other people for ages entirely to buy a packet of frozen roast potatoes. When I pointed out the fresh potatoes, carrots, parsnips etc in the house specifically bought for making roast dinners with he admitted that he didn't actually know how to use fresh veg - so we had an emergency all-family "how to make a roast dinner" lesson today. (We are also veggie, so he also got a lesson in making up sosmix)

YANBU. XDH is staying to make things more straightforward with DD during lockdown which is working quite well and to be fair he brought most of the tins we now have with him. But he cannot think ahead about food and at lunchtime today, after I agreed to DDs request for scrambled egg on toast, I discovered he had eaten the last two slices of bread for a bedtime snack. Luckily I found some in the freezer. He knew I wasn’t planning on shopping till Monday and that she won’t eat the ends of the loaf.

Unless in financial hardship in would not be bothered. I'd just buy another or tell him too when he's does the bread and milk run.

Yabu. There’s nothing to stop you going to the shop for food

Where are you living?

The more I read this thread, the more I'm appreciating my DH.

If he wants to experiment, why doesn't he make the curry that you want to use the chickpeas for? He gets to experiment, you get your curry. Win-win, no?

So long as the 'experiment' is like one you do at school (following instructions carefully) rather than in a research lab (finding out what happens when you do something novel).

YANBU. He didn’t plan. He didn’t buy the tin so he doesn’t get to say what happens to it now. If it was me, I’d take that tin and the others that are your safety net and put them up in the loft without telling him. He’s living in la la land. He’s put in zero effort. Make him go to the shop and try and buy food. He’s taking the absolute mickey

My DH is getting through packs and packs of biscuits and other things. I've told him to calm down - no one needs a full pack of biscuits a day (he is not overweight, just bored), and I don't think I should have to go out to get more. He doesn't get it as he hasn't been to the supermarket.

He doesn't get it as he hasn't been to the supermarket

Seriously send him. Around midday.

Give him a list. I think he may adjust his thinking when he's done.

Create drama, scream at him about "mental load" and then LTB taking your tins with you.

Or just tell him you have plans for the chickpeas and move on.

YANBU, it is shocking that so many husbands seem to think food is dropped from the sky by fairies.

My DH is doing more shopping at the moment so he is more aware, but he will still not buy any biscuits or chocolate that only he eats then ask me if there are any. He was in the shop, why not think about the presence/absence of things only he eats before he goes to the shop? Also if he wants to cook something, it doesn't occur to him to make sure the ingredients go on the list!

I don't know why 25 tins is unreasonable. I always have more than I need because we could be snowed in, or my car might not start, or my health might be poor and I wouldn't feel up to shopping. I have a week's worth of batch cooked dinners and a week's worth of fish/meat other stuff in the freezer to be cooked, plus fruit for crumble from our garden last year, home made soup, stock, etc. I shop once a week, plus some bits that my main supermarket doesn't stock from other shops. I have tinned tomatoes, chick peas, lentils, kidney beans, mixed beans, tuna, sweet corn, baked beans, chestnut purée and coconut milk, 1-3 of each, off the top of my head. I do always have extra chick peas in case I feel like hummus, because it's expensive here so I don't buy ready made. I reckon we could easily eat for 3 weeks though there might be some odd combinations towards the end and we would run out of milk, which would be a moderate disaster for us!

Buy him a kids science experiment kit.

Yanbu.

I'd just apologise for snapping and suggest if he's bored he can cook an actual meal rather than a side/snack that you already have two tubs of.

I have cupboard full of tins and jars, plus about 9kg of both rice and pasta, a full freezer and 94 loo rolls! Before anyone starts accusing me of panic buying, this is the norm for me! I buy things when they are on offer and pretty much all of it was bought long before there was any talk of panic buying (in fact loo rolls and pasta were all bought last year, when they were on offer in Morrisons)!

Having been brought up in a poor family, where there was never very much food in the cupboards, I openly admit I am a hoarder! I have always worried about having enough food, hence why my cupboards are always full! My children have nagged me for years to stop buying food and just use what I have in the cupboards! However, they are delighted now that I was well stocked up, and can help them out with some items they can’t get in the shops!

Husband and I are in isolation because of his health, so having plenty of food is one less worry!

YANBU.
What I would do in your situation is move some of your tins and snacks out of their normal storage space. Bag them up and put them away, then only take out from there what you need when you need it.

I just cannot understand this locust type behaviour but maybe it's because I grew up in the 60's.
In those days nobody snacked between meals or ate a whole packet of biscuits a day because we had just finished rationing and food was precious and quite honestly nobody had enough money, everyone suffered some kind of financial hardship because of the war and food was a LOT more expensive then.
None of us kids would have DARED to go into the kitchen and just help ourselves, not husbands either because that food had to last.
As a result everyone was slimmer.
We had three meals a day and afternoon tea and NO snacks inbetween.
Breakfast would be cereal or toast, maybe eggs and bacon.
Lunch would be soup, a salad, maybe a sandwich and salad.
Afternoon tea my mum, aunt and grandma would make a cake and that cake had to last all week, nobody was allowed to snack on it. We might have it with wafer thin cucumber sandwiches, I will never know how they got the bread cut that thin.
Supper would be meat or fish and two or three veg and because the men had energetic jobs like building there would always be loads of potatoes to fill up on, but the expensive stuff like meat we'd only have a small bit each, one sausage or fish pie with not much fish in. Lots of white sauce which was cheap to make, veg and mashed potatoes as a filler.
All of us were very slim and active and nobody ate between meals.
If one of the teenage children or adults went and made themselves eggs on toast between meals there would be a hell of a row and they would be accused of being greedy and disgusting and taking food out of the mouths of the family.
Biscuits were strictly rationed to elevenses only when you had coffee and one or two biscuits.
We all ate a lot of food but none of us were fat because there was always something to do.
Maybe we should go back to that and ban the kids from even going into the kitchen at all - they have to ask.
We had no crisps, chocolate or snacky food like icecream in the house at all, not ever. I was allowed a curly wurly on Saturday morning but only if I walked a mile to the shop to get my grandfathers newspaper.
Anyone whining about hunger was given a carrot to chew on.
Food was rota based, I don't remember all of it but I know we always had fish pie on Monday and sausages and chips on Tuesday.

None of us kids would have DARED to go into the kitchen and just help ourselves

Neither would we, as children/teenagers. I remember when I was 14 being absolutely amazed that a friend was allowed to help himself to a Muller Fruit Corner (which my mum would never buy) from the fridge without asking his mum first. This was in 1990

my DH has forbidden me to go shopping as he is vulnerable and scared I will bring it back and so imagine my joy this am seeing him helphimself not only to 2 fried eggs and 2 muffins but also cheese out of the fridge without even asking if its ok - Im the one who has to try and make the meals out of what we have ...grrrrrr.....