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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say no to his kids coming over?

198 replies

netflixandsleep1 · 26/03/2020 08:10

My DP has two daughters for previous relationship age 7 and 8. Generally healthy children, they come to ours Thursday (usually after school) - Sunday evening.

We have our own DD, she's nearly two and she has chronic lung disease along with a list of other conditions (hydrocephalus, low muscle tone etc) but since leaving hospital her lungs have been her biggest issue.

Since Boris announced the lockdown we haven't got anywhere other than round the block for a walk of fresh air and disinfecting everything as we go!! Yesterday, DP spoke to his DD on FaceTime and he asked if she'd been staying at home and she was confused and said no they have been to moms friends, nans, great nans, Asda and the playground. Their mom then came on the phone effing and blinding saying how dare we ask what they are doing (Confused) and what she does in her own time is her business.

Fair enough.

My first reaction was that they cannot come over then as their mom hasn't enforced the guidelines and my daughters life is potentially at risk and DP is saying they can have a bath as soon as they get here etc I explained if they have contracted the virus they might not have symptoms but everything they cough, sneeze, touch will also get infected! We haven't spoken since yesterday evening as I'm pretty adamant however I'm not worrying I'm being too harsh.

Thanks

OP posts:
NymphadoraBonks · 26/03/2020 08:12

YANBU.

Your husband and his ex are morons.

TheCanyon · 26/03/2020 08:12

You are absolutely nbu.

netflixandsleep1 · 26/03/2020 08:13

I'm now worrying that should say

OP posts:
netflixandsleep1 · 26/03/2020 08:13

@TheCanyon @NymphadoraBonks
Thank you. I didn't think I was.

OP posts:
LovingLola · 26/03/2020 08:13

is your dp capable of reading? Or is he stupid?

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 26/03/2020 08:13

YANBU

Cooper88 · 26/03/2020 08:14

I think that the children not coming round is perfectly fair in this instance. You are not saying they cannot come round just because there is a vulnerable person within your household to protect, and trust me having a bath will not cut it with keeping the infection away from the baby.

cornishdreams1 · 26/03/2020 08:14

Of course they absolutely can not come over, you are putting your child at serious risk.

HeartyGreenSalad · 26/03/2020 08:14

Of course you are not
I'm getting so fucked off with people not taking it seriously
Stand your ground

CoronaLime · 26/03/2020 08:14

YANBU at all. He can facetime them and see them in 2 weeks. They will be fine.

Stressedout10 · 26/03/2020 08:14

Yadnbu

BrutusMcDogface · 26/03/2020 08:15

Yadnbu.

She only got all defensive because she knows she’s being A FUCKING TWAT.

Etinox · 26/03/2020 08:16

Absolutely not! Flowers

EverydayLife · 26/03/2020 08:16

I agree with you.

Curiousmum69 · 26/03/2020 08:16

If she's on the vunerable list then she needs shielding for 12 weeks, you should not be leaving the house at all.

Sexnotgender · 26/03/2020 08:16

YANBU.

Your partner is an imbecile. I have a very high risk child and we are being beyond careful.

A bath? Seriously 😐 is he stupid?

CalmdownJanet · 26/03/2020 08:16

Definitely nbu. The bath comment is ridiculous Confused. Stick to your guns.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 26/03/2020 08:16

I wouldn't even let them come round in 2 weeks as their mother will clearly not be leeping them in for that time.

Hahaha88 · 26/03/2020 08:17

FFS of course you aren't being unreasonable. Even if they had been self isolating I'd be erring on the side of caution and not wanting them to come with your daughter's life at risk but especially as they've been here there and everywhere. And please tell me your partner doesn't genuinely believe that a bath would be sufficient enough to ensure they don't infect your daughter???

buttcrackmcheese · 26/03/2020 08:17

YADNBU! Protect your little girl ❤️

caffeinefix · 26/03/2020 08:18

Their mum is an idiot. YANBU

LolaDarkdestroyer · 26/03/2020 08:18

No don't let them, the mother is a fucking idiot!!

OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe · 26/03/2020 08:20

Not a chance!

purpleboy · 26/03/2020 08:20

I get your husband wants to see his girls but seriously at the expense of his other DD. Absolutely not, what is he even thinking! Do whatever you have to to keep her safe, that includes if he wants to go and meet them rather than bringing them to your house. Don't allow it!

ItsAllTheDramaMickIJustLoveIt · 26/03/2020 08:20

No way are you being unreasonable.

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