To say no to his kids coming over?

[netflixandsleep1]

My DP has two daughters for previous relationship age 7 and 8. Generally healthy children, they come to ours Thursday (usually after school) - Sunday evening.

We have our own DD, she's nearly two and she has chronic lung disease along with a list of other conditions (hydrocephalus, low muscle tone etc) but since leaving hospital her lungs have been her biggest issue.

Since Boris announced the lockdown we haven't got anywhere other than round the block for a walk of fresh air and disinfecting everything as we go!! Yesterday, DP spoke to his DD on FaceTime and he asked if she'd been staying at home and she was confused and said no they have been to moms friends, nans, great nans, Asda and the playground. Their mom then came on the phone effing and blinding saying how dare we ask what they are doing () and what she does in her own time is her business.

Fair enough.

My first reaction was that they cannot come over then as their mom hasn't enforced the guidelines and my daughters life is potentially at risk and DP is saying they can have a bath as soon as they get here etc I explained if they have contracted the virus they might not have symptoms but everything they cough, sneeze, touch will also get infected! We haven't spoken since yesterday evening as I'm pretty adamant however I'm not worrying I'm being too harsh.

Thanks

Can you possibly get a professional involved with your dd to talk to your DH? Explain the health risks and why he needs to step up and protect her.
So not a bunch of randoms from the internet but someone involved in the care of his dd.

Your child’s life is at risk. You are most definitely not being unreasonable. It just really p’s me off when I’m on day 9 of working and staying at home, keeping my kids at home and others are acting like it’s the holidays.

I've read him some of the replies but he doesn't care because "you are not in his position
Tell him not to let the doir hit his arse on the way out.
Sounds like him and ex deserve each other.
Your dd has a fab mum in her corner.

Stay safe.
[Flowers]

OP, if he can’t see what he needs to do for the sake of his youngest child’s life he needs to fuck off big time.

This is not a negotiable and actually what he wants and what his other children want and what their mother want are all irrelevant.

In your position you can only give him an ultimatum: he abides by the government’s rule or he leaves. I’d be tempted to contact social services on this one and I don’t say that lightly.

Just read all the posts and I’m seriously worried that so many people just don’t get this. It’s not difficult - if you have an at risk family member you cannot go between households. Spending a month with one set of kids (not quite sure his ex wife would want him living there) and then going to the other (at risk) child, that is a huge risk of transferring the virus.

Why can’t people get it. Stay home, stay in your own household, if you have a vulnerable or at risk person you cannot allow anyone to see them. Even if you’re healthy you should be staying in your own home. Stay home. Simple

Lots of people are in this position. Lots of parents will have to make difficult decisions not to see their children to protect their own or someone else’s health. Your daughter is vulnerable and it’s absolutely reasonable to say that her father will have to FaceTime his other children until things settle down, even more so because they haven’t been adhering to the rules.

Some people here are being utterly ridiculous. Olawisk, I’m looking at you.

Your daughter absolutely needs keeping safe, but your dp clearly isn’t willing to not see his first two daughters for - potentially - several months.

Could he see them, isolate for 14 days (in your house, living separately) then see your daughter - and repeat? That’s what I’ve known happen for a month or so now with more than one family.

What l don't understand is why OP's partner is not terrified that his vulnerable daughter might catch the virus, which could kill her.

How can he be so blase about her survival?

@Idontwantthis That's what I'm doing. I've been unwell for two and a half weeks with what may be COVID-19 (not tested) and I've kept myself isolated from my family. It's working. I wave at my DDs, make sure they know I'm still here so they don't worry about me, but stay in our bedroom and use our en-suite. My DH sleeps in the spare bedroom.

Our DDs understand very well, though they're in Key Stage 2 (11 on Saturday and 8), and understand about germs.

I wouldn't want to be in the house if there was a toddler with serious underlying health issues, though. The OP's DH doesn't appear to care about his youngest DD at all, otherwise he wouldn't allow himself to be bullied by his ex.

What a shame he still doesn't get it OP. Tell him to jog on back to his family then and leave you to actually protect your vulnerable child. What a twat.

Posters should stop feeding the bellend on this thread. Clearly on the wind up. Or is genuinely just that thick. Plenty of thickos do exist in RL, as is the mum to OPs SDDs.

Wait! That's who Olawisk is!!

Im not sure there is a solution OP, he can't be around other people simple as.

There are key workers and vulnerable people all over the world who have left their families until this is over. I'm very shocked at his attitude tbh.

You all have to isolate. please send DP to the official guidelines. maybe get the district nurse/dr to talk to him.

Stand firm, OP.

His ex is clearly bonkers and utterly selfish. If he cannot safeguard your baby chuck him out for good.

Have you asked your dh why he hasn't had a go at his ex? She's the one who's made it impossible for him to see his kids, why isn't he angry with her?

Your 'D' P needs to get off his arse and educate himself about CV. A bath FFS! Both he and his ex are the kind of idiots endangering lives by their stupid behaviour. I get that they might not be the kind who read newspapers, but it is hard to avoid knowing about CV even if you are exceptionally dense.

Lots of people will split up over this which is fine. The 2 year old mustn’t be put at risk that’s not fine. Tell him they cannot visit, end of conversation and you’ll physically stop him returning to the house if need be. 100% sure the police will support you if he tries to force entry

It's not possible to isolate in the same house unless you have two bathrooms, which most people don't

My DD won’t be seeing her father for 3 months (at least) because he’s has underlying health conditions 🤷‍♀️

OP - if he does leave to see DSDs don't let him back in - lock the doors, leave the key in the lock and put the chain on.

Tbh if he doesn't care that he's risking the death of one daughter to visit the other two, who are old enough to understand why they need to not see Daddy in person for a few months, I'd leave the selfish cunt.

Not only would he have to live with the knowledge that he killed his daughter, the DSD's would have to live with that knowledge as well

"rent an Airbnb for a month" 😂😂😂😂😂 bloody hell OP aren't you being silly all you need is to give the kids a good bath and if not your husband can just pop out for a month

Stick to your ground and don't waver or allow anybody to make you feel like you're overreacting and being silly. There's a reason these rules have been put into place and you can't compromise on your daughter's safety after being outright told the other children have not been social distancing or isolated.

It's 100% better to piss a few people off now than concede and risk your daughter getting the virus as she's high risk for being a fatality- she's tiny and can't stand up for herself so you need to do it for her. I commend you and think you're doing an amazing job at protecting your daughter. Please don't give in!

To summarise: please don't give in for an easy life, as it will not be an easy life without your daughter.

@Olawisk

Calm down everyone 😂

Laughing at a sick child? You really are a twat.

@annamie and where did I laugh at a sick child ?

I laughed at everyone getting so worked up about it just because I didn’t agree with them. Like I care what you or anyone thinks