Just say THANK YOU ffs

[MadameBee]

I need a rant.

I have two DSDs 15 and 13. I have been around for 10 years (was not OW). Have fairly good relationship with them.

I have two grown up kids who have left home and one about to go to Uni.

DSDs always have to be reminded to say please and thank you, which irritates me.

Worse is that that I put a lot of thought and effort into coking a nice meal (even if I didn’t and I just cooked a frozen pizza this would piss me off).

They refuse today thank you.

Everyone else, at the end of the meal says “thank you” and they sit there looking down in fucking silence, smirking, then DH tells them and it’s just shit and embarrassing and awkward.

WHY?!

Refuse to say sorry

I don’t expect my kids to thank me at the end of every meal! These are teenage girls - if this is your biggest problem be thankful !

I haven't ever expected my children to thank me for the act of keeping them alive via feeding them. It's a nice perk if they do, but not something I pick battles over.

I wouldn't feed the rude buggers. If they aren't thankful after any meal then I would tell them why they are not getting any. They can make their own and thank themselves.

If I go to someone’s house for dinner I say thank you, I always thank whoever has cooked me a meal.

It’s just basic manners.

They're going to someone's house though, are they? Unless you and DH don't live together?

Who’s voting YABU?! Teenagers probably.

If I go to someone’s house for dinner I say thank you, I always thank whoever has cooked me a meal.

Your home should be their home. It's not "someone's home" unless they're made to feel they don't belong.

Yes but do you say thank you in your own home? Because they’re not going out to someone’s house for a dinner party are they?

I think you’re being petty. Do you also want them to thank you for washing their clothes?

Do people generally thank each other at the end of meals? DD does if I give her a plate of food in the living room (treat) but not at dinner. I think if I dishes up and served people it might be more natural but not if people are serving themselves.

I agree with you. It's just so easy to say Thankyou and/or ask to be excused.

I used to thank my mum when I lived with her, my children always automatically say thank you.

If everyone else has said thank you why be a knob and say nothing.

It’s just rude.

I didn’t mean our home is “someone’s” home.

This is my bugbear with my family. Dd1 now always says it, dh and dd2 do sometimes. Cooking is an act of love. Often altruistic!

Pick your battles. I get it, been there, but if they are deliberately irritating you, stop rising to it. My DH would say thank you, and honestly I didn’t feel like I needed it. I cooked and fed the family it’s a given.

If I go to someone’s house for dinner I say thank you, I always thank whoever has cooked me a meal.

I agree, I thank DH if he cooks for me - it’s polite

If every one else says it - they know the social cues are there to say it like every one else.

And based on that they are rude.

Dd1 who’s 25 this year never really said it after a meal but my lot tend to say it as I’m passing them the plate. If Ive made effort and dh says it there tends to be a cascade of thank you’d because he promised it.

What dies your dh day? Why does he not say ‘ oi! Don’t be bloody rude?’

Fuck me now you're calling them knobs for not bowing and scraping. If you genuinely aren't happy with the situation talk to their Dad and ask for his support in fixing it.

I wouldn't expect to be thanked after every meal. It loses it's meaning for a start.

They're playing a game with you both and you're losing. Let them not say thanks it will make no difference.

I always say thank you when my husband cooks for me which is most nights. And vice versa. It’s common courtesy.

We always thanked whoever made the food, or collected it if it was a takeaway.
DH or I thank each other whether it's a toasted sandwich or a roast dinner (which I'm hoping he'll make tomorrow!)

Your DH needs to speak to them outside of meal times and say that is the minimum standards of manners expected.

We always say thankyou to whoever has cooked, usually me it's polite they sound vile and your dh is enabling it. He will regret it

My children don’t thank me for feeding them. Maybe if I’m bringing them a biscuit or sweet treat later but not after actual dinner, they never have and I’d never expect them to.

There not round someone elses house they are at home. It is good to encourage manners but when it becomes an expectation then you start to appear unreasonable. My children sometimes thank me but not every time.

Thing is, I don’t actually have to do it anyway as my own DS is not often here so I could just make myself some cheese on toast and fuck everyone else