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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

District nurse saying I’m not coping

221 replies

Slapin · 14/03/2020 10:53

I live alone in a house I inherited. It’s a big Georgian Manor House with a long private driveway, surrounded by fields and tall hedges. I’m not houseproud at all but have a gardener who takes care of the outside so to keep it looking respectable. The inside I don’t care about. I work with dogs, I have 4 of my own and do boarding, dog walking, training classes etc so my house literally is a dog house. It’s a mess basically but I’m happy with that.

I have to have daily district nurse at the minute and first visit was Monday. When she came in she said she assumed she’d had the wrong address. Didn’t elaborate. I invited her to sit down while she did her paper work and she asked for the dogs to be kept in another room as they are big and scary (fair enough). She then opened up a little pack thing and put a blue sheet of paper on the couch before she sat on it!!
Second day different nurse came and let it slip that the system had a warning on it about the large dogs. She then started asking questions regarding support at home and whether I have a cleaner to help me. I said no and asked why I would have a cleaner when I’m normally independent, she said houses like this normally have a cleaner.
3rd day nurse turns up in a different uniform and said concerns had been raised about how I was coping. They keep asking probing questions and have mentioned safe guarding etc. I’m absolutely fine, normally independent, normally working 7 days a week!!

AIBU to think this is out of order?? They’re making me paranoid.

OP posts:
JKScot4 · 15/03/2020 16:05

Great positive news 👍🏼

PegLegAntoine · 15/03/2020 16:12

Well done OP you can do it!

Ginfordinner · 15/03/2020 16:19

That's a great update. Well done for taking it on the chin and "listening" to some of the advice on here. And well done to the last nurse who came to see you. I'm pleased that it was dealt with so well by her.

I hope you make a speedy recovery Flowers

FairyBatman · 15/03/2020 16:28

That’s amazing OP. Small steps and I hope you’re feeling better soon.

Wallywobbles · 15/03/2020 17:38

If you could afford to hire a secretary type person for a week or so you would probably get all the paperwork and clutter under control too. I'd thoroughly recommend it.

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 15/03/2020 17:41

Why do you need a district nurse if you are able and usually work , are you unable to go to a clinic

FredaFrogspawn · 15/03/2020 18:25

She’s post op

Cohle · 15/03/2020 19:07

Well done OP!

Elouera · 15/03/2020 19:13

Congrats OP. Well done. I'd love to see a pic of your dogs Flowers

saraclara · 15/03/2020 20:02

I’m going to start on the living room tomorrow and start looking into cleaners.

Good for you! What a lovely nurse to help you with the dining room. It sounds like that's given you the stimulus to really make a difference to your environment. Good luck with transforming your living room tomorrow.

7Penguins · 15/03/2020 20:09

Well done, OP! Smile

I'm dying to see your manor and dogs, but please do not post anything remotely identifiable about yourself.

BringMeTea · 15/03/2020 21:08

Super update OP. Really pleased for you. That nurse sounds like a lovely woman. Good luck with the spring clean and hope you're fighting fit soon.

Fluffybutter · 15/03/2020 21:12

Best of luck op, what a lovely update

userxx · 15/03/2020 21:12

@Cohle I wasn't attempting to be pleasant. 🤷‍♂️.

Well done op, sounds like you are on your way to making big changes.

SpaceDinosaur · 15/03/2020 21:35

That’s awesome to hear @Slapin

Papoy · 15/03/2020 21:58

Good job OP Flowers

FazakAli · 20/03/2020 14:20

Wonderful update op, as I said in my post earlier turn your dining room into the visitors room. Put some seating, coffee table, plants, cushions, throws and candles in there. You do not need to buy new, just repurpise furniture from round the house or buy 2nd hand. Good deep clean by the cleaners and keep the windows open to let the fresh air in.

Good luck

LakieLady · 20/03/2020 14:48

Also get leather furniture so it can actually be wiped clean.
I love dogs but dog hairs and slobber over furniture really is disgusting and will stink.

So true, and why we got leather sofas.

I didn't realise how much the old sofas stank until we took them to the tip. They'd been out in the garage for a week or so, and they were so pongy the car still smelt of them the day after we'd dumped them. I was mortified that I hadn't noticed, I must just have got acclimatised to it.

The most dog exposure they'd had was 2 lakeland terriers - small dogs that don't slobber or moult!

Anyway, OP, if you're anywhere near mid-Sussex I will volunteer to come and help you sort your paperwork in exchange for cuddles with your lovely wolfhounds!

LakieLady · 20/03/2020 15:01

I used to be a DN. The squalor that some people live in is quite shocking. I had to pick my way across turd strewn floors, shit smeared everywhere, bottles of urine lying all over and more, I could go on.

Diogenes syndrome! At one job I had, we had a tenant who lived like that. My mate slipped over on one of his turds one day and got so caked in shit she had to go home and change AND have her car valeted afterwards. Caused great mirth though, she was always in the shit, but not usually literally.

When we submitted (yet another) report to Adult Social Care, they finally agreed he had to go into residential care.

LakieLady · 20/03/2020 15:15

@Pinkdelight3, to a dedicated dog lover there is no such thing as a "big scarey dog". Grin

There are big dogs, sure, there are bloody huge dogs (a friend had 2 lurchers that were so massive it was like having a pair of donkeys in the kitchen), but unless a dog is actually lunging and snarling at them, they won't be scared. And the OP has wolfhounds, who are remarkably gentle and most are unlikely to do more than lean on you and maybe give you a lick.

I knew one who would put his paws up on your shoulders and sniff your face, which I concede the non-dog lover might find alarming, but even he never rushed at anyone. They are a very gentle breed.

Gingernaut · 20/03/2020 15:25

Put the dogs in kennels for the time it takes for you to recover and hire a cleaner.

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