District nurse saying I’m not coping

[Slapin]

I live alone in a house I inherited. It’s a big Georgian Manor House with a long private driveway, surrounded by fields and tall hedges. I’m not houseproud at all but have a gardener who takes care of the outside so to keep it looking respectable. The inside I don’t care about. I work with dogs, I have 4 of my own and do boarding, dog walking, training classes etc so my house literally is a dog house. It’s a mess basically but I’m happy with that.

I have to have daily district nurse at the minute and first visit was Monday. When she came in she said she assumed she’d had the wrong address. Didn’t elaborate. I invited her to sit down while she did her paper work and she asked for the dogs to be kept in another room as they are big and scary (fair enough). She then opened up a little pack thing and put a blue sheet of paper on the couch before she sat on it!!
Second day different nurse came and let it slip that the system had a warning on it about the large dogs. She then started asking questions regarding support at home and whether I have a cleaner to help me. I said no and asked why I would have a cleaner when I’m normally independent, she said houses like this normally have a cleaner.
3rd day nurse turns up in a different uniform and said concerns had been raised about how I was coping. They keep asking probing questions and have mentioned safe guarding etc. I’m absolutely fine, normally independent, normally working 7 days a week!!

AIBU to think this is out of order?? They’re making me paranoid.

I have 4 medium/large dogs and brush/mop floors daily, kitchen mats are machine washable, dogs are dried and brushed after walks( 3 are smooth coats) house is kept tidy I hate clutter, dog bowls lifted and washed after use; it’s easy to have dogs and a clean house you just need a good routine.
Could you put all paperwork in study a c work through it:satan hour a day?
Get a cleaner in for a good clean and from there stick to a routine and no clutter.

If district nurse weee having to put a protective barrier down before sitting on my sofa, I’d heed their advice on my hygiene levels.

I assume you have no kids but they are presumably concerned about the poor hygiene and it’s effect on your wounds post surgery. At this point in time, where our NHS Really is going to be pushed to breaking point, just get someone in to do a deep clean and keep it up whilst you are laid low. You would be pretty selfish not to do everything you cn to keep yourself well and out of critical hospital care.

For those saying ‘but what cost’, she lives in an inherited Manor House and works 7 days a week. Money seems unlikely to be an issue. And even if it is, suck it up to get the house habitable and then keep it yourself thereafter.

You can live however you want to, but your description of your house makes me feel physically ill.

I think you’re being paranoid about the comments instead of listening - because of your phrase that number 2 “let it slip” about the dogs note. There’s nothing to let slip, no secret notes, no conspiracy - just a simple and relevant record.

How about posting some pics, OP, so you can get some proper feedback.

FWIW, you sound like some customers I used to have when I was an IFA - big mansions but only a few rooms actually used, and loads of paperwork in those rooms.

When you are well, it would be a good idea to get on top of the paperwork as hoarding does become a health hazard if it continues to grow.

p.s. you sounds like a lady I used to ride horses for and she just lived differently to those who wiped every surface 10 times a day. Different isn't always bad.

Get well soon!

Honestly....you are not coping as far as I can tell.
3 different health care professionals have reported it....why should they have to work in an unhygienic environment which you admitted yourself involves furniture covered in dog hair and slobber.
Sort paperwork asap and arrange a thorough deep clean if you can’t manage it yourself.
I hope you recover well and maybe this is a bit of a wake up call.

How about posting some pics, OP, so you can get some proper feedback

Noooooo! Ffs don’t do that! The clean freaks will combust on principle!

@Slapin you say you were going to ask for some clarification when the DN came this lunchtime. How did it go?

So the 3rd Nurse in the different uniform? Did you ask her role ?

Was she a more senior member of staff? Possibly the situation was escalated and a more senior role was needed to go through all the formalities?

'Let it slip' about the dogs ? No, most likely a yes it has been noted there are large dogs on the premises, we are aware , you are aware . You are aware you need to remove them from the scene .

The filling in of all these forms and submissions is time consuming , but for the overall well being of the Patient and their safe care .

Dog odour is the least of it

@Honeybee85

Does your social worker DH know you’re sharing personal info about a service user on a public forum?

Quite aside from it being unethical (honestly, if a social worker or nurse visited you would you be okay with them going home and telling their spouse who then goes and posts about it on a public forum in such detail that the person could easily recognise themselves?), if the lady whose information you’re sharing recognises herself she could get your DH in serious trouble.

I’d report your post to get it removed if I were you. Your DH would probably be horrified if he knew you’d posted about his client online.

A friend of mine with young children lives in absolute filthy, grim surroundings. Someone made a report and both a mental health nurse and a social worker visited her. One of them was quite blunt with her and told her the house was absolutely disgusting (which is the kind of direct language she needs). She absolutely couldn't understand what they were talking about. She said to me "its not exactly pristine but it's not that bad". This is a house with mouldy food lying around. Dog piss and shit on the floor. The settee is constantly wet/sticky. It stinks to high heaven. I can't even convey how bad the conditions are.

So my point is, many a time, people can't objectively see how they are living. Despite being told how awful it is. Is this maybe the case here? I find it interesting that three healthcare professionals all have concerns.

This is mumsnet at its worse, untidiness, cleanliness and dogs its mumsnet bingo 😂 live how you want ignore other people your house your life your choice.

I can understand that usually you keep it clean. Dogs do not have to mean really dirty. I think from the lounge, dining room & study all overflowing with papers etc that you are on the tipping point of being a hoarder.

Hope your recovery goes well and when better would attempt to have a system that works for you to keep on top of stuff.

liive how you want ignore other people your house your life your choice.

If she didn't want opinions/validation, why did she post?

@adaline possibly to hear someone say your house your life your choice 😂

@Slapin

The Council can take action and - indeed - a level of 5 is the trigger at which they should carry out an assessment. The professionals are involved and this is presumably why they are concerned. They may also consider [as you mention "papers"] liaising with the local Fire Service.

One option is what is called a "Blitz Clean" which is as it sounds a sustained blitz by a team of people. It is an unpleasant process as - although they claim to be non-judgmental they simply do not have the time or resources to consult or deal sensitively with every item.

If you can bear to get ahead of things by getting someone who deals with "heavy cleans" to come in this would be vastly preferable to a forced clean

Op, I understand. I live in a crumbling heap of a Victorian. My husband and I are both disabled. I can definitely keep up with light cleaning ( I cannot abide a dirty bathroom or kitchen) I cannot do heavy cleaning. I have a wonderful housekeeper who comes in weekly to sort the big stuff out. She also assists with packing things up and putting them away. Our laundry goes out weekly.

Is it possible for you to hire a housekeeper? It is rather expensive, I’m afraid but her hep goes along way to keeping us on the right side of tidy.

live how you want ignore other people your house your life your choice

Ordinarily , it wouldn't affect anyone else. But at the moment it affects the NHS Staff who are visiting and have Infection Control issues at the forefront (even without Corona Virus)

If someone posted "My DS is friends with Barry but I don't want him going round there because Barry's house is a shit-tip" the answers would all be "Can you meet Barry +Mum at the park/come to your/softplay"

I doubt anyone would say "How Barrys Mum chooses to keep her house is up to her and you just have to deal with it . Go round and let them play in the shit "

So saying to the OP your house your rulez ...............it doesn't just affect the OP.

Hopefully it is short term clutter till she gets back on her feet . (But I suspect , it is not)

1. Open all the windows in your house, you'd be surprised how wiffy a doghouse is to a none dog owner. Burn scented candles and mop daily.

1. Put some seating in the piano room and have that as a dog free 'best' sitting room.

1. While you're immobile, sort through the paperwork while you are watching TV. You'll soon sort it into keep, recycle & to throw piles quickly. Then box up the paperwork to keep to file away later& chuck/recycle the rest.

1. Get a cleaner in to do a deep clean the house & sofas

1. Buy throws for the sofas so they can be chucked in the wash

Sorry that should have said “ Her help goes a long way in keeping us on the right side of tidy”.

I’m just wondering whether some parts of your house might actually look like number 8 or 9?
The nurses have mentioned tripping hazards and you’re reluctant to get help to clean because you need to sort papers out. This sounds like you might have a hoarding problem.
How long have you been leaving these papers? Do you keep adding to them? What are these tripping hazards? Are you only mopping the part of the floor that you walk on if the rest of the floor is covered.
There are people/companies who can help you get on top of the problem.

Your very lucky to have 4 Irish Wolfhounds! I would be happy to cuddle them as I love dogs especially the larger ones x

@Ffsseriously She can live how she likes but she should have the decency to clean a seat for a district nurse to sit on... its disgusting expecting someone to sit on a sofa full of dog fur and slobber

@Alsohuman - I did not think about that!!!
Imagine how they're oping with Covid-19?! argh!!!