To think most women wouldn't want to go back to their 20s and date men of today

[penelopepitstopsgain]

Now I don't look at the past with rose tinted glasses as I'm sure sexual deviants have existed since time began, however having read this story today of grime artist, solo 45, being convicted of horrific sexual assaults on multiple partners which included waterboarding, threatening with guns and beating for sexual gratification it struck me how, in a relatively short period of time, sexual boundaries have been pushed to breaking point for many women with practices such as strangulation and slapping seen by many as vanilla sex.

I would never want to go back to my 20s and face dating todays' porn inspired men and feel very sad for young women having to navigate this.
If you would love to go back to your 20s and date = YABU
If you would rather stick pins in your eyes= YANBU

Nofruit agree the behaviour of the girls isn't nice. The men seem to take great satisfaction and delight in treating the girls badly though which slightly tips the scales for me.

And lots of sexual preferences turn people on it doesn't detract from the fact some are morally wrong or in the case of strangulation, bloody stupid. And yes, odd how it's the woman who tends to die when it all goes "tragically wrong ".

@AngelsSins

Yes it is a big problem. The logic of porn has infested a lot of people in terms of what sex is and what can be expected.

It is sad to see. The acid test of a man of any age is porn use. It tells you absolutely volumes about them. Which used to be more clearly seen in the past. Criminal trials took clear account of open porn use by offenders in sexual crime. It was unusual and the men who had possession where “unusual”.

Now it is absolutely mainstream. It’s results are evident in cases like Natalie Connolly’s death and a conviction for manslaughter. Solo 45 is another example of presumed consent. It is all about women complying, not mutual, enthusiastically given consent. That is not in porn generally and then you later in acts which are actually criminal offences as part of it.

@alsohuman

It’s wrong if one party is being pressured into doing things they find uncomfortable or abhorrent.

Way to state the obvious. I wasn't aware that anyone was advocating for sexual assault or rape.

To compare women who have been murdered by murderers to 2 people consensually engaging in some BDSM activity is no different to comparing consensual sex and rape. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other.

Blaming BDSM as opposed to blaming murderous men is exactly how they get away with it. Well done to you all.

If as a man you get off on hurting and choking women I am going to have a view on it. I couldn't care less what you think of that.

You are ignorant. Natalie Connolly consented to her treatment. Her partner was not a murderer, but was convicted of manslaughter in part because of claimed consent.

You can’t consent to your own assault in law. BDSM people claim their safe words and consent discussed beforehand means something in law. It doesn’t. Stop saying “consensual” BDSM. This blurring occurs because of that.

Theres some sort of bat signal that goes off whenever bdsm or prostitution is discussed, people dont like women talking about it at all.

@lexmitior

"Wanting to “teach her a lesson” (for sending photos to other men), Broadhurst “lost it” and inflicted around 40 injuries on the heavily intoxicated Connolly, including fracturing an eye socket and severe internal trauma; he also sprayed bleach on her face because “he didn’t want her to look a mess”. Connolly was left bleeding at the bottom of the stairs. When Broadhurst finally called for an ambulance, he described her as “dead as a doughnut”, a phrase filled with chilling disrespect."

If you think she consented to this you are a vile person.

@Langsdestiny

If as a man you get off on hurting and choking women I am going to have a view on it. I couldn't care less what you think of that.

As is your right. But someone sitting in judgement from your perch isn't going to stop people living their best sexual life. And especially women, they deserve their best sexual life. To each and all that he?

Way to state the obvious

It’s not obvious though, is it? Young women are being pressured into doing things they don’t like and being called prudish or frigid if they refuse. And why? Because guys are using the kind of porn you could only buy in Soho 20 years ago which demeans and dehumanises women. However cool you are, surely that concerns you?

Their best sexual life, yep that's whsts happening.

Actually read up on poor Natalie Connolly. They had apparently enjoyed rough sex in the past before he battered her to death, quote from the Guardian -

Broadhurst denied murder and claimed he only hurt Ms Connolly “within the boundaries of her masochistic desires” after an alcohol and drug-fuelled night together.

So it absolutely can be compared as its being used as an excuse. By the men who murder women during sex who are included in that stat.

Also google We Can't Consent To This.

@alsohuman

I think I've made my feelings on consent clear. Obviously people should only engage in sex that they want to. Women and girls should not be pressured into any act they do not want to engage in. Again, I do not believe anyone has advocated for anything different!

@penelopepitstopsgain
You mean like how they claim rape was consensual sex, literally all the time. Should we all be against consensual sex because men can use it as an excuse when they rape us?

It’s pointless discussing this with you, you’re not interested in debate @MunaZaldrizoti. You go and live your best sexual life, whatever that means, and continue to blinker yourself to anyone else’s experience. As far as I’m concerned, women like you are part of the problem.

@alsohuman lol. I find this hilarious. So because I think BDSM isn't evil and people should be able to engage in whatever sex they want to have as long its consensual and between adults...that makes me part of the problem. Okay 🤷🏾‍♀️

Glad you’re amused.

Rape fantasy is one of the most common kinks in women.

Mate, what on earth would you like me to say? That I think people should only be allowed to have certain types of sex? You're not going to convince me that I am an anti feminist misogynist because I like kinky sex! And quite frankly I think porn is most damaging when kids aren't taught what real sex is. So, more porn (better regulated and ethical to employees) but also more sex and relationships education! More positive consent education! More knowledge, less prudishness! This ain't Victorian times. Much as some would like it to be.

@Druna

It's not rape when it's a fantasy. Rough sex is a more accurate term.

God here they come.

it's not rape when it's a fantasy. Rough sex is a more accurate term.

True, but I'd actually like the man to pretend to rape me, like a role play where I actively try to fight him off and he carries on.

Getting turned on by that sort of thing is all bound up in feeling sex is wrong and dirty though and nice girls have to have it forced on them.

I thought we'd gone beyond that kind of thinking?

Getting turned on by that sort of thing is all bound up in feeling sex is wrong and dirty though and nice girls have to have it forced on them.

It's not so much about that, it's about being vulnerable. It gives me adrenaline.

@penelopepitstopsgain
If you've read this thread you will know we are not. Women into kink are literally being blamed for male violence! Its staggering