I am still in my 20's so I am biased BUT I can't, for the love of me, imagine wanting to grow up before my era (not that the world is currently a great place). If you look at History and especially Women History, whilst violence against women is still very much a thing in 2020, it is way better to be a woman in 2020 than in 1930, let alone before.
Domestic and sexual violence towards a spouse was so common and normalized, a couple of decades ago, sex was seen as owed to a spouse and putting your lady back in her place was something that was seen as acceptable to do or even, expected. Women had very little rights and it's incredibly unlikely that law would have been on their side had they tried to prosecute their rapists or abusers so YABVU, in which era do you feel women had it best?
Yes we have porn, violent porn at that but we also have rights, the mentalities are also changing so that rape/domestic violence, isn't the glorified thing it once was (though more still need to be done). And I speak as someone who has been on the receiving hand of sexual assaults/violence (though not by partners).
I am a lesbian but I have had sex with 20yo men and for the most part, the most drastic thing they wanted to do was anal (barely something outrageous), yes some probably had pre-conceived ideas about sex, and I am sure plenty more had pre-conceived ideas about what a women's body should look like, but despite the fact that I have never enjoyed any of the consensual sex I have had with men, none of them ever made me feel threatened or tried to choke me/slap me/electocute me during sex and, had they been into that, they would have 100% talked about it with me. So what you are talking about is assault/rape and it's not what the average guy is like but is definitely what some guys are like and have been like probably since guys have been around on this planet.
What you are failing to take into consideration though, is that women have more say in what's done during sex than they did a couple of years/decade(s) ago. Now their desire/wishes/needs matter and they know it and they all don't want vanilla sex. More women than ever push boundaries of sex because they WANT TO, because they like it, because it's now socially acceptable for them to ask for it. So yes, I know plenty of girls my age who are into BDSM and get chocked/slapped/tied up during sex, consensually (!), because that's what they want, and most of those girls are lesbians, so most definitely not influenced nor cohersed by men at all. I have actually probably had way more non-vanilla sex with women, than I have had with men. So that says something.
Now are some women still cohersed and forced into violent sex by men (or women)? Yes. But then when in history did women happen to never be raped or cohersed into having sex and violented? And which era would you happily travel back to?
Also you might want to consider that while the notion of finding pleasure in violence during sex is unconceivable to you, it's very much a thing for some people and because you can't ever imagine yourself doing it, doesn't mean that everyone who does it is automatically cohersed. You wouldn't pay me to have sex with a man (now or in another era) but it doesn't mean everyone who has sex with them is cohersed into doing so.
I voted YABU because I feel way more sad for any woman before me who automatically had way less protection or rights than I do and as a 20-something lesbian of color, there is no other era I could have survived better than this one.