To think most women wouldn't want to go back to their 20s and date men of today

[penelopepitstopsgain]

Now I don't look at the past with rose tinted glasses as I'm sure sexual deviants have existed since time began, however having read this story today of grime artist, solo 45, being convicted of horrific sexual assaults on multiple partners which included waterboarding, threatening with guns and beating for sexual gratification it struck me how, in a relatively short period of time, sexual boundaries have been pushed to breaking point for many women with practices such as strangulation and slapping seen by many as vanilla sex.

I would never want to go back to my 20s and face dating todays' porn inspired men and feel very sad for young women having to navigate this.
If you would love to go back to your 20s and date = YABU
If you would rather stick pins in your eyes= YANBU

madcatladyforever I think the only difference is men know to keep their mouth shut these days. The misogyny is still there.

I think this generation is particularly worrying due to easily accessible porn via the internet to young boys when in the 80s they had to sneaky pinch their dads dirty mags. Now men’s watsap groups share vile images that are deemed funny.

It’s all done privately now

@h3av3n Are you ok?

I also agree with everythin h3av3n has said.
I don’t really understand why bully her?

But...there are laws against them now. Actually legal protections. Which didn't exist 30 years ago. There are support services, there is legal aid, there are multi agency domestic abuse conferences every month in every area. Therefore...things are better for women now

only slightly. Yes the legal protects are there but it takes a lot for those legal protections to actually be enforced. Two women are killed a week due to domestic violence - we’ve not really moved on.

Yes I agree with her too. And would quite like people to stop calling her names. Lots of us are concerned about porn. Are you going to call us all weird as that will get a little boring.

‘That would be a warning’ refers to what you have already written, not what you write next.

That's a matter of regional lingo @Nameofchanges. I'm not here to blame anybody for their own harassment as I've said twice now. Maybe try to remember when you're reading posts that posters come from different districts and not everybody speaks exactly as you do.

I agree that revenge porn is a massive issue and incredibly awful. But I cannot agree with you that things are worse now than they have been historically. They may be bad in a different way, but there is no moment in history that was some sort of golden age for women. The OP is just wrong on this. At least now there are actual protections for women in place.

But I cannot agree with you that things are worse now than they have been historically

But you don’t know and you’re completely ignoring other people who are telling you, from decades of experience, that you’re mistaken.

Porn has changed, not only in its nature, but also in its accessibility and I do sometimes wonder if this is a backlash against women’s increasing empowerment in other spheres. There is so much anger and hatred of women in porn.

God only knows what sites like YouPorn are doing to the minds of young people. It’s so graphic and so click-bait led that I can quite see how it’s addictive and one thing leads to another. At first you’re horrified, in the same way as you would be watching a car crash, but then somehow it warps your mind and you become desensitised today the hoodie. You can’t be on there 2 minutes without scenes of women with their make-up smeared all over their faces, doing forced bjs or being slapped / choked. Porn is all about power and humiliation of women these days. Even incest is glamorised. And women, as shown on here, are so deeply conditioned on a psychosexual level by this insidious imagery that their brains have become rewired to the extent they believe this is what they need for a reasonable sex life.

to the horror, not today the hoodie!

Yes the legal protects are there but it takes a lot for those legal protections to actually be enforced. Two women are killed a week due to domestic violence - we’ve not really moved on.*
*
/// This. Things haven't moved on, there are just different ways for a certain type of man to demonstrate how much they hate us. UKPunting., anyone? They can literally create an international club and exchange notes.

@Alsohuman

If they have decades of experience then I am assuming they are not having sex with people in their 20s. So I guess their opinion is as relevant as mine.

@JustInCaseCakeHappens re your comment
this forum really attracts some weirdos sometimes. yuk.

There's no need to be offensive and rude- many of us are raising the next generation of females and are very concerned re what's expected of them sexually ...if you have no concerns then great but don't seek to diminish or belittle those that do

There’s at least one poster who is having sex with men in their 20s telling you their experience is different. But you go ahead and assure yourself that woman hating hasn’t entered a new and sinister phase, the rest of us will worry about an abused generation of young women.

@Olliephaunt4eyes
There's no winners in being right or wrong as to whether women suffer more or less now than before - we as a sex class have always been on the receiving end of unsavory behavior - what makes today more unsettling is that behaviors and acts that were considered very niche have now become mainstream and this has not been driven by women's desires but men's - there is no value in arguing about perceptions ... better to put energies into equipping ourselves and daughters with robust boundaries to push against this tide

Ya! @Alsohuman, the point is one experience does not a rule make. Mine or anyone else's. I have already said that things may be bad in a different way, I just do not accept that now is worse than 1990.

I just do not accept that now is worse than 1990

Despite being repeatedly told they were by people who were actually born then. OK.

It’s the socks. Those little footie socks that make them look like they’re not wearing socks.
And the facial hair.
And the spray on jeans.

Bleurgh.

I’m 32. I’m recently single. I am just not getting that impression of some of the guys I’m talking to in their 20s at all - whilst on the other hand my ex in his 30s DID have a porn view of sex.

I think this is individual rather than age based.

Yuck, makes me think of those Georgie Shore type chaps.

Who, for proudly displaying their disgusting behaviour towards young women openly on tv, are rewarded with lucrative 'influencer' status.

Almost monetising misogyny.

I also think h3av3n has a point, and I agree with OP.

I know the old have always tutted at the young, but I do think what people think they're supposed to be doing has shifted.

I think it is much more difficult for girls now. Smart phones and mixed sex schooling with teenagers is a terrible combination. Children can end up committing sex offences with smart phones very easily, distributing sexual imagery, underage imagery, showing each other pornography. Voyuerism is also a problem.

Young men don’t have a clue about consent and pleasure. Their experience is driven by porn. They may be polite and well spoken to their mothers but really I think the acid test of what someone is really like is on their phone. There are limitless mothers with scummy sons who cannot see the flaws. They should look at their sons porn consumption and then re-evaluate the “respectful to women” view.

No more than you accept what some people in their 20s are saying, @Alsohuman 🤔

Young men don’t have a clue about consent and pleasure.

Wow. Okay.

Labeling and self fulfilling prophecies come into mind.
Maybe ask who is raising that man and women and think about what can be done from there instead of blaming literally everything else🤷