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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask them not to bring their dog?

368 replies

Transformer123 · 09/03/2020 10:27

We have friends due to stay with us in a fortnight. It was planned a long time ago, and they've just dropped a text to us which includes the sentence "and we will be bringing our dog". I'd forgotten that they recently got a puppy.

The idea of the dog coming is really stressing me out. We've just had new carpets fitted and laminate through the house, and I am also quite nervous of animals. We are not really a pet-loving family (I like animals, just not close around me). My daughter also screams and gets very anxious when dogs come near her.

When my brother brings his dog for a day, they bring his cage and he spends time in there and also out in the garden. My daughter won't be in the room (or garden) if he's out of the cage. However, as they are staying for a long weekend, I think it's unreasonable to expect a puppy to stay in a cage and probably not practical.

My brother says he never just brings his dogs round to people's homes, without checking with them first. They live near relatives, so perhaps a relative could look after it? I'm unsure how to approach this?

OP posts:
Member984815 · 09/03/2020 10:28

I'd call and say you can't accommodate the dog

UYScuti · 09/03/2020 10:30

Tell them you are unable to accommodate the puppy but you appreciate that they probably can't travel without it in which case perhaps they could get a hotel or an airbnb that takes animals?

Member984815 · 09/03/2020 10:30

By the way I think they are super cheeky to just tell you that they are bringing it , I have a puppy I wouldn't dream of bringing it to someone's house for the weekend without asking , even then I wouldn't

Original poster
Transformer123 · 09/03/2020 10:30

Just want to add that we have a small house, so there is no utility, or spare room that the dog could go in, where we would not be walking through.

OP posts:
Reginabambina · 09/03/2020 10:30

I can’t believe they’d just presume to bring it. Just reply back that you don’t keep animals inside, sorry.

Singlebutmarried · 09/03/2020 10:30

Sorry friend but we can’t have the dog to stay.

We’re not set up for it and DD has a fear of dogs which we are working on.

adaline · 09/03/2020 10:30

Just say no.

I have a dog and I would never expect to just be able to bring him to people's homes! In fact, he's not allowed in my parents' house and has to wait on the porch or in the garden Grin

lilyheather1 · 09/03/2020 10:31

I'd never bring my dogs without asking, and even then I'd only then ask the people who already had dogs. It wouldn't cross my mind to ask any of my friends who don't have dogs to accommodate mine, it's really unfair.

UYScuti · 09/03/2020 10:31

You don't have to explain or apologise, people with pets should know that there are certain restrictions that come with having pets and that's just part of the deal.

Lunafortheloveogod · 09/03/2020 10:31

Let them know they can’t bring the dog because your child’s scared of them?

There’s a massive difference in her coping for a day with a dog in a crate/different room than a fortnight.

jessyjo2 · 09/03/2020 10:32

Think u could tactfully say ur child is very nervous of animals and just got carpets fitted. As if they planning to bring a crate with them (hint hint!!!).
I have a pup and I wouldn't automatically assume I could land it to someone's house for the weekend.

Butterflyflower1234 · 09/03/2020 10:32

It's you home so you have every right to say you don't want the dog to come but be prepared for them to cancel.

They shouldn't have assumed it's ok to bring the dog but if it's a puppy they might not want to leave it alone/with someone so soon.

Please don't feel the need to justify your decision. Simply send a message saying you're excited to see them however you can't accommodate the puppy. If you go into too much detail then it feels like you're having to justify your request when really there's no need for you to do so.

PleaseStopCrying · 09/03/2020 10:32

Well id you say they cannot bring the dog then in all honesty they probably wont come as they wont have anyone to look after it. It is however your house so entirely up to you if you want it to come or not.

I would look at getting your daughter some support for her phobia too as it cannot be nice to always be so afraid.

LolaDarkdestroyer · 09/03/2020 10:32

That's cheeky as fuck...tell them no it won't work If it was for a few hours day visit maybe but a weekend! I honestly don't know how they can think that's ok especially a puppy it will be running riot and pissing and shitting all over your carpet, not to mention chewing and jumping up at your child! They didn't ask which makes it worse!

TyrionsNextWife · 09/03/2020 10:32

That’s so cheeky of them! I’d fire back a quick text asking what they’re plans for the puppy are as it won’t be able to stay at yours. I’m a dog lover, but there’s no way I’d have a puppy staying in my house, especially brand new carpets.

Ihaveamind · 09/03/2020 10:34

I have a dog and only bring her with me when visiting close family who won't be put out by her presence.
I can't bring her to my parents as they have a territorial dog of their own for example.
I don't bring her to stay with friends as the visit would be dictated by her walking/company needs.
We usually have someone stay in the house to take care of her when we go away. It can be inconvenient but that is part of dog ownership.

Mittens030869 · 09/03/2020 10:34

My DH is allergic to dogs, so that would be a problem for us too. Add to that the fact that we have 3 cats! I would find your friends' attitude hugely cheeky.

This is yet another reason why I wouldn't ever want to own a dog (despite actually liking them.)

Yugi · 09/03/2020 10:35

I wouldn't ask them not to bring it, I would just tell them not to bring it. You can do it politely but there is a big difference between keeping that option open a little bit and making it clear that it's not an option.
I would never just assume I could bring a dog to someone else's home even for an hour, never mind two weeks.

captainpantbeard · 09/03/2020 10:35

Agree with others, you don’t have to justify not wanting a puppy to stay. I can’t believe they told you rather than asked you. That’s very rude.

SerenDippitty · 09/03/2020 10:35

We’be stayed in a travelodge before now with our (elderly) dog while visiting friends. Is there one near you?

LukeSkywalkingOnTheseHaters · 09/03/2020 10:35

YANBU, just message and say you don't think the dog coming would work given space and your DD's aversions. Ask if they have a relative or friend who could have the dog overnight.

See what they say. No point overthinking it until then.

Gadgnkk · 09/03/2020 10:35

Ludicrous cheek to say: we will be bringing our dog. Would have been fine to ask if they could and accept whatever response you gave.

I’d cancel the weekend. Not only about the dog issue which could be resolved in some way but because they are clearly the kind of people who stamp on the wishes of others to suit themselves

AryaStarkWolf · 09/03/2020 10:36

How cheeky of them tom just "tell" you that they're bringing the dog. Tell them no, you don't have to give them an excuses either, how presumptuous of them

SerenDippitty · 09/03/2020 10:36

And yes they were really rude to just say they were bringing the dog.

KaptenKrusty · 09/03/2020 10:44

your house, your rules

However the thing with your daughter being terrified of dogs, screaming when one comes into the room is strange - why is she so afraid?

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