to ask them not to bring their dog?

[Transformer123]

We have friends due to stay with us in a fortnight. It was planned a long time ago, and they've just dropped a text to us which includes the sentence "and we will be bringing our dog". I'd forgotten that they recently got a puppy.

The idea of the dog coming is really stressing me out. We've just had new carpets fitted and laminate through the house, and I am also quite nervous of animals. We are not really a pet-loving family (I like animals, just not close around me). My daughter also screams and gets very anxious when dogs come near her.

When my brother brings his dog for a day, they bring his cage and he spends time in there and also out in the garden. My daughter won't be in the room (or garden) if he's out of the cage. However, as they are staying for a long weekend, I think it's unreasonable to expect a puppy to stay in a cage and probably not practical.

My brother says he never just brings his dogs round to people's homes, without checking with them first. They live near relatives, so perhaps a relative could look after it? I'm unsure how to approach this?

Just say NO!

My son is in his new flat [second floor and no garden] and had mates around last weekend for an evening get together. One of his mates has a huge young Husky type dog, which he took with him. My son hadn't realised the dog would be there - but he loves dogs and thought all would be well. Sadly the dog decided to pee - in the only room that didn't have hard flooring - my son's carpeted bedroom!!! He had tried to keep the door to his bedroom closed but the door catch is a bit iffy. The mate wasn't at all concerned .
Just say NO!

When people get a new dog, they surely know that any plans they had made before getting the dog, or routine activities they had, are all subject to change.

Do not pay for their accommadation , they are completely taking the piss

I'd say it's not possible to bring the dog. I'd never foist my dog onto someone else. You're not being at all unreasonable.

That said you really should work on your child's screaming and anxiety around dogs. There's a lot of them about and most of them mean no harm at all but will be frightened by a screaming child in the vicinity.

They're CF!

Tell them your daughter is scared of dogs so they won't be able to bring it.

YABU... VVVVVU to yourself and your family!

Don't ask them you tell them no!

And you make no offers to pay for kennels etc, they chose to get a puppy, you did not. This is an expense and experience they HAVE to get a grip of, or they will find themselves well isolated.

And I say that as somene who got a puppy and has had to pay for kennels/sitters when visiting friends and family. My dog, my choice, my expense. No other possible interpretation of dog ownership!

No, they can't bring the dog and you don't offer to pay!!

' I'm sorry friend but we are a pet free zone. DC is nervous around animals. We will be happy to meet up if you can get a dog sitter'

As a dog-owner I would never just tell my hosts I'm bringing my dog... I always ask and completely understand if it's a no. We had this a few years ago with a menber of DH's family. They told us they don't like dogs and don't want them in the house... we understood. We booked a dog-friendly hotel nearby and paid for it ourselves. Would never have expected them to.
Alternatively your friends can come without their dog and arrange for someone to look after it. A fortnight is enough time to try and arrange that.

Perfect response ^^

That'd a be a no from me too. And no one would be surprised as I'm known for not being an animal lover (not a hater either - they have their space, I have mine).

Please keep reminding yourself this is Their Problem, not Your Problem.

They didn't have to get a puppy right before visiting friends. They didn't have to get a puppy at all.

They chose to, if there are consequences of doing so, that is Their Problem.

We have a dog and would never DREAM of inviting it to other people's house! He comes with me to my parents on occasions but if we are away for a night, or stopping with friends, I always send him to my parents to dog sit (they used to have dogs).

Our friends even said we could bring our dog around when we stop over but we just wouldn't! They don't have pets of their own so I certainly wouldn't take my dog to their new clean house when they don't have one themselves, invited or not.

2 weeks is a long time to put any one up let alone someone with a dog

@KaptenKrusty it's incredibly common at that age and your comment is totally unhelpful. Op wanted advice about what to say to her friends

I hate people who assume they can bring dogs everywhere with them.

I like dogs, I don’t like them in my house. If I did I’d buy one and put it in my house

DO NOT pay for accommodation. Also if they say they’ll cancel, let them. Don’t be pushed into it. It’s not fair for your daughter to be frightened in her own home.

"Hi Jane. Afraid the invitation was for humans only, we're a dog-free household. Really looking forward to catching up with you and Joe."

Don't back down, don't offer to pay anything.

Dogs and smoking are I think the only two legal things that I wouldn't allow in my home.

Vulpine

I think it’s 2 days!

Just tell them that's not convenient for you. They don't even ask...they inform you the pup is coming?! I have a dog and it's my baby, but I don't organise going anywhere without having things sorted for the dog. I wouldn't even think taking my dog with me when I visit close family, let alone friends

Wow that's incredibly cheeky to just tell you that they're bringing their dog! Now I like dogs. We used to breed Crufts winners in fact. I have cheap and nasty and fairly old laminate flooring these days. My house isn't that pretty. But you know what? I still wouldn't want a dog staying for two weeks. I just don't want a dog in here. I would not give your presumptuous guests a reason. Just tell them you were unaware that they would be bringing an animal when the invite was issued and you are unable to accommodate the animal. It's not for you to explain. And definitely not for you to pay for their alternative accommodations!

I love dogs but I wouldn't dream of taking my dog without asking. And I am fully prepared for people to tell me he's not welcome!

@MindyStClaire's message is perfect

'Hello Mabel, really sorry but we can't accommodate your dog. Dd is terrified of them and I'm not prepared to force it on her in her own home, we've tried before and it didn't go well'

Thank you for the responses x
Just to clarify - they are staying for a long weekend (not two weeks) in a fortnight.

What does CF mean?

I love dogs but they’re being totally unreasonable. Especially as the pup will not be used to your house so may regress in their house training

YANBU to refuse to have the dog in your newly carpeted house. I have a big dog and I have polished wooden floors and jute rugs to accomodate her muddy paws and constant shedding.
Your attitude towards your daughters anxiety is unhelpful though. You are reinforcing her fears. Teach her to be calm and support her to interact positively with dogs you know are not aggressive. It’s fine to not be a dog person but it’s will be inconvenient for her if it really becomes a phobia and impacts on where she feels safe to go.