To not even know how to start losing weight

[Catminder901]

To start with, I will admit that I am overweight - like, very overweight. Like BMI of 47 overweight.

I've always been quite fat, but piled on weight during both my pregnancies and never really managed to lose it. I'm Type 2 diabetic (surprise, surprise) and also have high blood pressure.

A pro pro of high blood pressure, my GP said I really need to lose weight and has referred me to see a dietitian. I'm just genuinely struggling to get my head round how I will actually start losing weight.

I have a lot of weight round my tummy and hips and thighs, so I waddle when I walk, plus I get out of breath and sweat and wheeze. It does not make exercise easy or appealing.

I don't actually massively overeat. I've tried diets and I can stick to them, but the second I lapse, all the weight goes on again and I feel like, why bother with this one?

I am sure a lot of people are going to think: just have some self control. But I honestly feel like, it would be so much easier to lose weight if I wasn't starting from quite such a bad point!

And I do want to change. I know that I'm at risk of health problems. I don't feel attractive. I can't do things which I'd like to do. And worst of all, I feel like once my kids are a bit older, I am going to be an embarrassment to them. I am THAT person who is so fat that people stare.

If anyone has any helpful hints (even along the lines of, you will be fat forever, just try to accept it) I would be so grateful.

I also disagree with @Double3xposure. LCHF is a diet which is unsustainable and very restrictive. Calorie counting and making healthier food choices (which tends to come in when you calorie count as you can eat more healthy food than unhealthy food) is the best long term solution.

@Catminder901 walking is an excellent form of exercise. 20mins or more a day and you’ll see a difference!

Filled with motivation, I might now try my first walk round the block. Since it is dark and there will be limited witnesses!

I am trying to lose weight. I have lost a stone and a half in 5 weeks by calorie counting. I still have what I like just less of it and within my allowance. I’ve still got an awful lot to lose but it’s a start. I disagree with pp who said the bigger you are the easier it is to lose though?! Surely losing a stone is easier than trying to lose 5?! And when I was dieting before no one noticed I lost weight until I lost about 3 stone. Where as my friend who is slim lost a stone and everyone noticed straight away! I’ve lost a stone and a half now and I don’t look any different and no one has noticed, got about 5 more to lose.

Have huge, huge portions of vegetables with your meals.

You have to get your head around the fact this isn't a diet for a few months then you can go back to eating as you are now. It's a major lifestyle change. Its 80% food and 20% exercise- basically you eat for your weight and workout for fitness. So if the idea of exercising puts you off just start with the food part.
Picture yourself in two years. Do you want to be the same as you are now? Or do you want to be pleased with what you see in the mirror, fitter and able to keep up with your kids. Not embarrassed to meet new people. Perhaps even reverse your diabetes?
It is a long hard slog. Successful weight loss really is a calorie deficit- all diets work if you eat a deficit but most are not sustainable. You want to be able t still eat with your family.
Do as suggested above and keep a diary this week of absolutely everything you eat and when. Everything. You taste your food while you are cooking? That too. You eat the leftovers off your kids plates? That counts.
This will also help see what you eat too much of and when. For me the danger time is in the evening when I start with dinner, and keep going!
I use my fitness pal app. You can set it to lose anything from half a pound to a kilo a week. I'd ignore the exercise calories as they are way overestimated.
There are forums on there that will help too.
It also helps to have mini goals and a big one. Say you want to lose five pounds this month. Or maybe it's just to stick to under X calories today. A bigger goal may be to fit into a size Y for a wedding or to wear a bathing suit this summer. You get the idea. The longest goal will be to be a fitter, slimmer, healthier person by this time next year.

Another Slimming World fan here! I lost 4 stone about 6 years ago and have kept it off. It helped me to totally overhaul my eating habits and lifestyle.

I am in the same place as you. Just diagnosed the type 2 diabetes with a fatty liver and in need to lose weight desperately.
Was nearly 20 stone at the beginning of the year and now just under 18. I really recommend you read the diabetes code by Fung and to have a look at diabetes.co.uk ( not org.uk) and just try reducing carbs and not snacking. I aim for less than 100g of carbs a day and eat the same as everyone else but no rice, pots etc just extra veg. I am no longer craving carbs. I use my fitness pal to count carbs and Cals (1750 )
Re exercise - I can’t face going out to do exercise so am using Leslie Sansone walk workouts (can pick 15 mins upwards) and doing one a day.
Moving forward I M going to buy a glucose monitor so I can see the impact of my carbs and will start intermittent fasting at some point.
You can do this. PM me if you want some supprt.

The day before you start say goodbye to all the foods you love. Allow yourself to eat the doughnuts, the pizza etc. Then day one. Drink lots and lots of water. Always eat breakfast and don't eat after 8pm.

Have a look at Low Carb boot camp. See if it floats your boat. I’m not sure how long the boot camps last for but you can sign up to them at the start. BIWI used to run them. There is a current boot camp going so you’d have to wait for the next one. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/low_carb_bootcamp/3574079-Low-Carb-Bootcamp-the-ten-rules

I find intermittent fasting good. I have used 16/8, where you restrict eating to 8 hours. It works better to combine with low carb for me. The other intermittent fasting is 5/2, where you eat very few calories 2 days out of 5.

I have recently, for the first time ever started counting calories. I am pleasantly surprised how easy it is and slightly shocked by my idea of portion sizes.

Use whatever diet, fad, plan you choose. As long as you burn more calories that you consume, you will lose weight.

Start by scrapping the idea of going on a diet, you need a lifestyle change.

Clean out your cupboards fridge and freezer and start again.

Write a shopping list, the first one will be expensive but you can shop smart in places like aldi Lidl.

Lots of flavour, herbs spices.

What can you change?
Cous cous instead of rice
Homemade chips (not fried)
Beans
Homemade food from scratch
Batch cooking
“Go to” snacks like wafer thin ham
Eggs are your friend

Think high protein - low carb You should be having a gram of protein for every kg of your normal weight so if your normal weight is 80kg you should be eating 80g of protein a day!

Air fryers, great for making low fat food in as no oil needed!

My journey from BMI 43 (morbidly obese) to BMI 25 (healthy).

Nothing fancy at all. Loads of vegetables - 7 to 10 portions a day. No sugar, only small amounts of natural sugar (fruit). No process carbs, small amounts of whole grain or veg carbs. Low fat options.

Exercise - start small.
Set targets - challenge yourself.

Definitely more mental for me (depression and anxiety)@ no willpower self control.currently 5ft 6,18 st 4.5 and bin of 41.1.
Starting tomorrow with my fitness pal and map my walk.

@PumpkinP that's an amazing amount in 5 weeks,well done x

Again with exercise, start small

A stop before your normal if you take the bus
Park in the furthest space in the car park if you drive
Walk to the local shops

Your heart rate needs to be up and aim for 30 minutes twice a day

If you want a treat have one, this is lifestyle changes not a diet!

Remember there will be weeks you lose 5lb and weeks you lose nothing but there is always an end goal!

Getting rid of t2 diabetes and high BP could probably add 20 years to your life!

Well done @FATEdestiny What an achievement!

@FATEdestiny that's amazing,well done x

OP, you know EXACTLY how to lose weight. Everybody does. Less/better food, more exercise. Not knowing how isn't the issue.

What stops you, psychologically? Is it feeling guilty for letting it go so far? Low self esteem? Does it feel insurmountable?

Because you can do this. It'll only take a short time before you see a difference on the scales (goal one), and another short time before people start commenting (goal two) Break it down into manageable chunks, enjoy your goals, and forget how you got here. Forward is all that matters.

1. Many people do not know what a reasonable portion size is. If your parents and family put large amounts on your plate growing up and your family and friends around you overeat you will never know what the proper size is.

• Buy some portion control scoops and plates. They measure out 'this is one portion of pasta' etc.

1. Don't be discouraged. You will be very hungry at first. Your stomach is stretched out from overeating. It takes you more to feel full. After a few weeks of correct portions your stomach will shrink and you will feel full on standard portions.

1. You confuse hunger with thirst. Not patronising, it's a common error. Have a glass of water and wait five minutes before going for a snack.

1. An easy win is drinks. The sugar in teas and fizzy drinks adds up. Swop them for sugar free squash.

Just those three things will make a difference with no other changes.

1. If you try to 'diet' it won't work. If some foods are 'naughty' it won't work. Food is fuel, food is pleasure. Have a sensible amount and you will be a sensible weight. If you start eating quinoa and rice cakes and kale chips, when you are a spag bol and Gregg's person it won't stick. All the snacks and things you 'sneak' add up.

• When it's your colleague's birthday go ahead and have a slice of cake. One piece of cake is not making anyone fat. It's the packet of crisps you had in the car, then the coke, then the twix, then the pie on the way home then the whole packet of biscuits while watching your show, then eating dd's dinner because they didn't finish and then finishing off the ice-cream because it is too little to put back in the freezer and a waste to throw it away.

1. Shopping. If you are buying a family sized packet of crisps you will eat loads. If you have a partner and DC maybe your partner can buy sweets & treats etc. With yourself, only buy what you intend to eat. A family pack of kit kat = no. One kit kat = yes. You have deliberately decided to have that kit kat or Gregg's. It hasn't just found it's way into your mouth.

1. If none of this is working then therapy. There is a payoff to being overweight. Does your mum start to criticize you when you start looking 'better' than her. History of abuse = looking 'unattractive' means people will ignore you and you won't be a 'target'. Many many reasons. People aren't stupid. They do destructive things because there is an emotional 'payoff'.

I've been following ww for the past 14 months. Had a higher BMI than you to start with. I've lost 7st 2lbs in that time just from staying within my assigned points and eating low carb. I haven't even introduced exercise yet.

I also lead a lovely monthly thread on here where we all try to lose half a stone every month. It really helps me to stay on track and the daily support is just amazing. You would be very welcome to come and join us!

Not knowing how isn't the issue.

What stops you, psychologically?

This ^

It was really easy for me to lose 8 stone. So why didn't I do it years ago? I knew how to lose weight, it's not rocket science. But I didn't believe I actually could do it. I believed I would fail.

Then I decided to get healthy. My mindset changed to: "I will, just watch me".

Thread is here if you fancy a look!

Lose 7lbs/3kg a month - The March Thread http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weightlosss_chat/3835693-lose-7lbs-3kg-a-month-the-march-thread

Slimming world, stay to group each week.

Can you cook? My experience of sw was that many people struggle because they lack knowledge in cooking.... How to make healthy meals. But there are plenty ways around this.

Exercise....swimming is so good esp if mobility not great. Doesn't matter how you look... Go when pool quiet... Empty bladder first... Lots of dribbling in public pools that's why they have chlorine in them...

You can do this. It's a choice. Being a good healthy weigh feels good. Really good. Once you get going and start to see results you are going to be more motivated. Good luck.

The biggest step is that you now have taken the first step with the NHS on board! Well done!

I spoke to my GP and they referred me to a bariatric clinic. I didn't know what 'bariatric' meant. My BMI was 39 but I was a whisker off being diabetic. They referred me to a psychotherapist and I lost 10kg (1.5 stone) in 6 weeks. I lost a further 5kg after that then I had a gastric sleeve. The sleeve has been great but 7 months later I'm plateauing. I also have check ins with a dietician. (Now every 6 weeks, was 1 week). Most dieticians will make you do a food diary. A bad day for me is about 2000 calories now. I've taken up running - now my knees can cope - and just did my first half marathon.

If you have issues with food, I'd recommend seeing a psychotherapist. I've just started paying for one (£45 ph) but am only 1 session in so far. The surgery is a way to lose weight quickly but does not fix your relationship with food. I have binge-eating disorder though my father would just call me a greedy cow. (Probably another reason why I'm recommending counsellors!)

Look up Second Nature.It's a whole way of healthy eating and exercise,( it can be prescribed on the NHS in England).Or you can sign up privately and pay.It also offers a free trial program.It works through an ap.

You get an on line coach of a nutrition expert,and are part of a group of around 12 other members scattered round the country.You can set your own weight loss goal over the 12 weeks of the program,as well as a step goal if you wish.They offer a recipe book (great tasty food which you cook from scatch)It mostly limits carbs,encourages vegetables and a balanced plateful of food and encourages sensible portions.

You get helpful articles every day like how to read food labels,how to do snatches of exercise and the benefits.They supply the logic for every change they ask you to make,and support you throughout.I find it's like having my own interested personal trainer.

There's help on forming new habits of healthy eating for life,being aware of one's thinking, and how to pick oneself up when struggling .
As someone said:At last an eating plan for adults! Not a fad.

Most of all, the group encouragement is great and the whole thing is enjoyable and gets results.
Don't go by my summary,do look it up.You might find it was referred to as Our Path,its previous name.
Speak to your doctor.Speak to your dietician.
The very best of luck.