To not even know how to start losing weight

[Catminder901]

To start with, I will admit that I am overweight - like, very overweight. Like BMI of 47 overweight.

I've always been quite fat, but piled on weight during both my pregnancies and never really managed to lose it. I'm Type 2 diabetic (surprise, surprise) and also have high blood pressure.

A pro pro of high blood pressure, my GP said I really need to lose weight and has referred me to see a dietitian. I'm just genuinely struggling to get my head round how I will actually start losing weight.

I have a lot of weight round my tummy and hips and thighs, so I waddle when I walk, plus I get out of breath and sweat and wheeze. It does not make exercise easy or appealing.

I don't actually massively overeat. I've tried diets and I can stick to them, but the second I lapse, all the weight goes on again and I feel like, why bother with this one?

I am sure a lot of people are going to think: just have some self control. But I honestly feel like, it would be so much easier to lose weight if I wasn't starting from quite such a bad point!

And I do want to change. I know that I'm at risk of health problems. I don't feel attractive. I can't do things which I'd like to do. And worst of all, I feel like once my kids are a bit older, I am going to be an embarrassment to them. I am THAT person who is so fat that people stare.

If anyone has any helpful hints (even along the lines of, you will be fat forever, just try to accept it) I would be so grateful.

Or :its a whole way !I did check the post but missed that typo!

I'd love to try swimming but I'm nervous for two reasons: first, looking ridiculous in a swimming costume, second, I'm afraid I'd wet myself in the pool

you don't necessarily have to wear a swimming costume. I have seen quite a few women wearing swim leggings like these with a long swim top like this. you can also get disposable incontinence swimpants that you can wear under the leggings, and you wouldn't see because of the length of the top?

@cricketmum84 thanks, I'm going to have a look!

@SuburbanFraggle really helpful, thank you so much. I know that overeating is a problem for me - more so than what I eat. And the evenings are particularly dangerous because I just end up sort of permanently grazing.

My advice is to join a group. You can find options in the nhs site, your local surgery and we have some in schools (just she space, but affiliated with school). There are tons of online resources for million different diets and apps. In this case since we are talking about a big change and it is all new, I feel like a group would give the extra support and they could give "you specific" instructions and help with excercise and nutrition (or refer to peopel) so it's done safely.

My best tip is to find what works for you individually.

It sounds really simple but there are so many ideas, theories, studies, opinions etc on different ways to lose weight and obviously some directly contradict one another. It may take you many attempts to find the eating pattern that works best for you, and IMO that is one of the most important factors for weight loss.

For example, lots of people swear by 5 small meals a day to "keep up metabolism" or to stave off hunger. I took that as gospel after reading it and was constantly hungry and never full. Also found it hard to commit to preparing 5 different small meals while sticking to a calorie budget. It turns out after many months (and many complete lapses during pregnancies) that I do way better with intermittent fasting. You may find similar, or the opposite.

Secondly, take baby steps. Whatever you are planning on doing as a first step, dial it back even further. Most of us take on too much at once when we want to lose weight and it's just not sustainable. For example beginning an exercise routine and drastically cutting calories when you have been sedentary and eating what you want for years is never going to be feasible really. The reddit sub Loseit has a great starting guide - it sounds patronisingly simple at first glance but really, you do want to incorporate gradual changes over a longer period of time and actually stick to those changes.

Start by cutting calories slowly while you work out which eating schedule works best for you. At your weight you don't need to bother with exercise if you don't want to, diet alone is effective especially when you are overweight.

Good luck, it's a bloody long process but so worth it.

@sleepismysuperpower1 Wow, I had no idea that anything like that existed! I may actually feel up to giving it a try now. I just want to find a time to go when the pool is not going to be really full. I feel self-conscious

I just got back from my walk round the block. The first time I actually walked for the sake of walking since I don't know when! I had to stop three times and by the time I got back I was wheezing like a steam train and soaked in sweat (also, tmi, but I'm definitely going to go for a wee before the walk next time...). But I actually did it and I am quite pleased with myself!

I found no sugar, low carbs was all that's needed. Was hard for the first month, then my appetite completely changed and I no longer felt hungry in the same way so it was easy from there. Just need to stick with it, sugar is an addiction that will pull you back in.

You could try eating less and moving more?

I also disagree with @Double3xposure. LCHF is a diet which is unsustainable and very restrictive-

Sorry, I just can’t let this go.

LCHF / keto / blood sugar diet / low carb - whatever you want to call it is absolutely sustainable. It literally just means cutting out processed crap.

Of course, most of the food we have access to IS processed crap so it’s occasionally difficult but the point is you don’t NEED to eat every few hours like you do on the standard British diet of lots of carbs. Your appetite regulating hormones are fixed and your body is able to fuel itself with fat rather than just carbohydrate, so you are able to do long stretches (in today’s terms!!) without food.

If you get hungry every couple of hours,you really shouldn’t and is a sign your body metabolism is firing only on carbs and you’ll never lose all the weight, at least not without massive problems (hunger, faintness, grumpiness etc)

So potatoes are processed crap?

@namechanger2019 OK, yes, point taken! I know it's my fault I have got like this, but it feels so overwhelming to try to reverse it when it has got to this point!

Depends how you eat them

Fried in vegetable oil / rapeseed oil will be terrible because of what those oils do to your body

But no, in general if in natural form and not eaten with terrible oils, occasionally will be good - especially if you are doing some high impact sports they will help your muscles fire more quickly! If you arejust sitting in an office all day you really don’t need such high carbohydrate

Have you ever tried slimming world OP? (There is a SW topic where there’s lots of advice)
You would maybe find going to the weekly groups helpful (the one I went to was very positive and supportive) and there were people of all sizes there. The consultant will explain everything to you and after a couple of weeks it’s very easy to follow. I lost 2 stone quite easily.

The main thing you have to remember though OP is that this has to be a complete lifestyle change. A bmi of 47 is very overweight and you are putting your health at risk. For your dc’s sake you need to make a change to the way you eat for good. It’s not a diet but a completely different way of eating and thinking differently about food.
Any diet will work if you stick to it. The problem is that people lose the weight and then start eating “normally” and the weight piles back on.

You have to accept it’s a change for life if you want to be healthy.
Good luck.

It’s not your fault OP!!!

People have already recommended it but please search Jason Fung, The Obesity Code

It will change your life

But however you eat them theyre still carbs.

You said lchf is just cutting out processed crap. Its not.

You dont "need" a lot of things but cutting out whole food groups isnt the easiest way, imo.

I was 19 stone, BMI was 45. I am 42 years old. 18 months ago I was referred to a dietician, I asked for weight loss surgery and was then referred to my closest bariatric unit. In December 2019 I had a gastric bypass and can honestly say it has been the best thing I ever did. I am now 14 stone and still losing weight steadily. It isn’t an easy way out like some people will say, and you still have to have some control, but it is the only way I have managed to lose weight after 20 years of trying. And believe me i tried every single diet there is going - healthy diets, fad diets, liquid diets - all of them. It may not be a route you are wanting to go down but I would say to anyone considering it, to go for it. I feel so much healthier already, more confident, finally enjoy clothes shopping and my life doesn’t revolve around food anymore.

Hi OP,

I know that there are huge psychological hurdles to overcome to lose weight but one thing that I find helps is to make sure I eat enough 'weight' of food at each meal; so a good day would look like this;

• Porridge with fruit
• Soup with a bagel thin or sandwich thin with 25g cheese or chicken
• Salmon, potatoes, vegetables
• Cooked blackberries and apples with a tablespoon of custard

It sounds like a lot of food and it is but it's filling, low calorie, high vitamin-content food.

OK, yes, point taken! I know it's my fault I have got like this, but it feels so overwhelming to try to reverse it when it has got to this point!

How wonderful to be perfect and never have fucked up anything in life. I will never meet such a person and neither will you. Unfortunately your fuck up of overeating is more visible than someone else's of being stingy, or cruel, or untidy or whatever.

You know what to do now. Tomorrow just have lots of water. That's all. You don't need to make a special blackberry kiwi porridge. You will have a max of two hot drinks with sugar and no fizzy and only water. Nothing else needs to change. Baby steps. Maybe on Wednesday you will have another walk. Maybe on Saturday you won't buy junk when you do a big shop. Just commit to not bingeing.

In a few weeks: On a scale, sometimes nothing will change, but your waistband is less snug.

Some weeks you will lose only a few pounds, but your breath comes more easily.

Your cousin hasn't noticed a change after weeks - your heart has noticed.

You said lchf is just cutting out processed crap. Its not

For the first few months all LCHF diets will be strict in keeping you below 20-30g of carbohydrate a day because that is when you are pretty guaranteed to get nutritional ketosis and your body starts to learn how to use fat as fuel.

However once you are fat adapted you can flex much more. TBH very few people in nutritional ketosis feel the NEED to eat carbohydrate. You will have heard people say it who follow this way of eating - the cravings GO! You won’t believe me, but literally everyone says it once they’ve crossed the line into fat adaption. The thought of a portion of fries makes you feel ill

But saying that, I’ve been doing it for years and I occasionally eat some, but I can’t be arsed with big amounts, just a bite or two is enough. Also when I’m doing hilly cycles I may have a few carbs, but horror of horror I mostly do them fasted. I just don’t need it because I’ve always got a good supply of fat for energy!

@Yankeeaddict my GP didn't mention surgery, I'm not sure if there is NHS criteria and if I meet it?

My BMI is 47.5 to be exact, and I'm 33. Type 2 diabetes (injections currently) and high blood pressure.

You just have to eat less calories - there are a millions types of ways to do this depending on what sort of foods you like; whether you like big meals or just snacking all day etc.
But the only thing which really matters is that you take in less calories than you burn.
The good news is that at your current weight you will be taking in a lot of calories and so even by cutting a small amount you will see weight loss.

Personally I’d be tempted to just eat as normal for a day or two but log EVERYTHING, absolutely everything - coffees, the kids left overs etc.
Then you will have a real unavoidable truth of how much you are eating. Then you need to cut it down - even if you just start with cutting 500 calories a day you’ll see a loss. Then you’ll need to add in some more changes as you go but small
Changes will all add up.

I would try not to complicate it at this point, small steps to reduce calories at this point will get you results and as you become more motivated with your results you can think about different foods, exercise etc

hamster mmm, im sure you do get used to it. I personally dont fancy a life without carbs whether i actually need them or not. I like my varied diet, and im still losing weight so! Each to their own isnt it

*I just got back from my walk round the block. The first time I actually walked for the sake of walking since I don't know when! I had to stop three times and by the time I got back I was wheezing like a steam train and soaked in sweat (also, tmi, but I'm definitely going to go for a wee before the walk next time...). But I actually did it and I am quite pleased with myself!
*
well done! and I'm glad you are considering going swimming, it really does make a difference.

@SuburbanFraggle I will! I do want to do this. I'm just scared that if I go water all day I will go berserk in the evening and eat everything in sight!

I know that I am putting my health at risk by being this big. I'm only mid 30s and already have health probs because of it, and that's kind of scary. Plus, I don't want to be a mum who can't do anything with her kids as they get older because of being too huge / unfit / ill...