To not even know how to start losing weight

[Catminder901]

To start with, I will admit that I am overweight - like, very overweight. Like BMI of 47 overweight.

I've always been quite fat, but piled on weight during both my pregnancies and never really managed to lose it. I'm Type 2 diabetic (surprise, surprise) and also have high blood pressure.

A pro pro of high blood pressure, my GP said I really need to lose weight and has referred me to see a dietitian. I'm just genuinely struggling to get my head round how I will actually start losing weight.

I have a lot of weight round my tummy and hips and thighs, so I waddle when I walk, plus I get out of breath and sweat and wheeze. It does not make exercise easy or appealing.

I don't actually massively overeat. I've tried diets and I can stick to them, but the second I lapse, all the weight goes on again and I feel like, why bother with this one?

I am sure a lot of people are going to think: just have some self control. But I honestly feel like, it would be so much easier to lose weight if I wasn't starting from quite such a bad point!

And I do want to change. I know that I'm at risk of health problems. I don't feel attractive. I can't do things which I'd like to do. And worst of all, I feel like once my kids are a bit older, I am going to be an embarrassment to them. I am THAT person who is so fat that people stare.

If anyone has any helpful hints (even along the lines of, you will be fat forever, just try to accept it) I would be so grateful.

I don't actually massively overeat.

I'm afraid you can't get that size without massively overeating. You have just lost sight of what normal portion sizes are but you are massively over eating.

I'd download myfitnesspal. When I lost weight it was surprising how the calories add up and how little you actually should be eating.

Sorry I've not read the whole thread so I may be repeating what others have said...
Try not to fully cut anything out or see it as a diet as such. Balance out carbs to a portion for breakfast, lunch and dinner (e.g 2 slices of bread, a pitta, rice/pasta etc for dinner) and one or two snacks. Lots of veg and plenty protein. Get a measuring tape and measure and log your waist, chest, hips and legs every week to see some change rather than just weight to motivate. Walking is a great start, good luck!

@Catminder901 you definitely qualify, and would possibly be through the system faster as you have other medical condition that I’m guessing weight affects. Don’t wait for them to offer - ask for it if you are interested. It’s a fairly long process so worth enquiring now. Tone scales are dependant on what area you live in. There are several fb pages for advice and to see other people’s stories.

I know I’m an ideal world we would just stick to a diet. But not everyone can. Some people are actually addicted to food, like other are to cigarettes or their nightly glass of wine. We all have our downfalls and mine was food. I was getting bigger every year, and more and more miserable. Not to mention unhealthy. My only regret is not doing it years ago.

I do want to do this. I'm just scared that if I go water all day I will go berserk in the evening and eat everything in sight.

What do you normally drink?

As pp said, eat normally and log it. Maybe just take a photo of everything you eat, even if it is just one biscuit.

I cannot recommend slimming world enough!! You should be able to get membership free if you ask your doctor. If not it is definitely worth the £5 a week. You will definitely see results and it doesn't restrict you. You can still have big portions and even a chocolate bar a day if you want. You get weighed and then stay for a group chat after which gives you extra tips and support.

Time scales I meant

:) you've made good progress already!

I have found myfitnesspal and daily weighing really suits me. I'm 14kg down on my highest weight, though that's over a long period.

For me, I would rather have a huge plate of veg and a hard boiled egg, with proper salad dressing, thana low fat approach. But I do eat carbs - it's just that for main meals i do a bed of pasta or rice for ds and the same thing on a bed of spinach leaves for me. Likewise today we had roast chicken - I had the chicken, peas, red cabbage and grated carrot with some thin gravy, but no roasties.

Another thing that works for me as an evening grazer is to embrace it - have a tiny main meal, then coffee a bit later, then pudding (usually yogurt or fruit) a bit after that.

Exercise really helps me but I can't eat the calories. Myfitnesspal is really generous in what it gives you for exercise and I find it doesn't work if I eat them - maybe 10% of what they give you.

Consider going low carb or Keto. I had a diabetes diagnosis last May and have been on it ever since. It took me a while to get the hang of it so I have been on it fully since Aug last year and about to hit the 4 stone loss mark.

The NHS don’t really advocate for this way of eating (although there are some small changes happening) but it works. All of my numbers were pre-diabetic when I went and had my blood tests done before Christmas. My blood pressure is down and one of my mess have been stopped for that so I’m hoping I can reduce more dooms.

I swear by it-this is my way of eating now and I don’t plan to change it anytime soon.

@AnchorDownDeepBreath I have seen a doctor about the incontinence but there's basically not much I can do except lose some weight. It's a mix of stress/urge incontinence and I've been doing all the pelvic floor and lifestyle stuff without much effect. I also tried medication, but (tmi again sorry!) I got incredibly bad constipation, so stopped!

I used to love swimming- although at my current weight, I'm a bit worried that I might just sink! But I am trying to psych myself up to give it a go...

Now that is inspiring @FATEdestiny

@SuburbanFraggle Oh! I thought you meant just drink water and not eat anything at all! I get it now.

I do drink mostly water, but I am a sucker for a fruit smoothie. Empty calories, I know! Xx

I'm exactly the same, I'm a size 14 lower half and 10-12 top half, I can loose weigh easily but as soon as I have a day off I gain about 3 pounds back. The only thing that works for me is carb free of below 20g of carbs a day to keep of the weight and fluid that come with eating carbs. It is hard hut after a few days it becomes easier, it's just getting passed the 'celebration' way of eating as that normally sends me back into the old way of eating what I want and gaining a stone again

Calorie counting. I’ve lost 3 and half stone just using my fitness pal. Eat what I want within reason, just less of it.

3 years ago my bmi was 51 and for the last year it has remained stable at 24.

Like you I was worried about being an embarrassment to my children and although i didn't have diabetes I was becoming increasingly immobile as my knees just couldn't take my weight.

The thing that stood out for me in your post was
it would be so much easier to lose weight if I wasn't starting from quite such a bad point!
I think that is just so, so true.

Morbid Obesity is an incredibly complex and difficult issue to overcome and a lot of the advice about moving more, snacking on healthy things etc really misses the enormity of the problem, what it feels like to be at the start of that journey and the physiological barriers that have to be overcome.

What changed my life was a bit of straight talking from an NHS surgeon who told me the truth about obesity. This information saved my life.

An academic study done using ten years of digital NHS records following over 100,000 UK patients found that the chance of a woman getting to a healthy body weight from morbid obesity was 1 in 677 patients. Its extremely rare. You can read the study here if you like.

The only method that is statistically effective in treating morbid obesity is bariatric surgery.

Its incredibly drastic, but it will give you a window to get a shed load of weight off and enable you to get to a point where you can start exercising/ address the psychological issues.

It is not a cure, you will still have the same emotional issues with food etc that you have now, but it will buy you time to address them.

I'm not sure if you realise it or not but bariatric surgery has the effect of curing or drastically improving type 2 diabetes during the actual operation i.e. before you have even lost any weight. This is because sleeves and bypasses remove Ghrelin producing cells that trigger the diabetes response. So you would lose a massive amount of weight and your diabetes through surgery.

Please watch this on You Tube. It is presented by the head of bariatric surgery at University College Hospital in London.It looks at the statistics and why the NHS continues down other routes regardless. It is 40 ish minutes long and those 40 odd minutes saved my life.

Today I've run in a 10k race with my running club, i've been for a bike ride with my dc's, i've tried on a load of spring dresses i bought from asos (size 10), i've eaten roast chicken....i've had a normal life.

Following with interest

@Catminder901

No! Extreme, faddy things like that are not helpful.

The reason I say swop out drinks for water, or even squash is that it's such an easy win. If you take your tea/coffee without sugar already, carry on as you have been. If you take sugar in hot drinks you need the to cut down. It will taste horrible if you start having it with less or without sugar. Have your morning coffee if you need it to get started. Have one round of teas and make one round to be sociable at work. Then water and squash.

At one point I was taking 3 sugars with my tea/coffee.

I would have one at home around 7 before leaving the house, one when I get into work. Maybe a smoothie in the car. One around 11. A coke at lunch. One around 3. Maybe another around 6. Cup of tea when I got home. I was having about a full mug of sugar a day

If I took a bag of sugar and started drinking it they'd lock me away, but because it was in drinks it was normal. I'm not saying you're as bad as I was. But just that one thing made a massive difference to me.

If you eat an extra 100 calories a day it can add up to 10 lbs weight gain a year. 100 calories isn’t even very much

www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/what-does-100-calories-look-like/

I'm wondering if 1500 is something good to aim for, or should I go higher / lower at first

Work out your TDEE here. Minus the figure by 20% to find the amount of calories to lose weight.
tdeecalculator.net

Please go check out Team RH on Facebook. It’s calorie counting but with a great team of cheerleaders on your side, kicking you gently up the bum when you need it. (And with a BMI similar to yours, I was put on 2900 calories and have lost 2 stone since Jan.)

There’s a free fb page to follow where you can see what it’s about and you can choose to sign up (or not).

www.facebook.com/teamrhfitness/

Also, approx 90% of the people in my swimming pool are significantly overweight. No one cares.

Also, approx 90% of the people in my swimming pool are significantly overweight. No one cares This.

I just think 'good for them' for about one second then think about my own life.

* I don't actually massively overeat.*

Stop saying this to yourself - nobody gets to bmi 47 unless they are massively overeating.

@CatMinder101

Have you thought about aqua aerobics. It's really good all round exercise, and tends to be a good mix of all ages and body shapes, plus it doesn't rely on strong swimming skills.

Stop saying this to yourself - nobody gets to bmi 47 unless they are massively overeating.
Of course they can. Sedentary life plus
convenient eating/restaurants/alcohol can easily put you in a calorie surplus. It doesn’t need to be sudden.

Oh and in terms of swimming costume I wear a tankini top from Yours clothing and men's swim shorts. I always feel really uncomfortable about the tops of my thighs and my 'apron' of fat so wearing shorts feels much more comfortable.

Like these but mine are from primark and have zip up pockets which are great for holding locker key

www2.next.co.uk/g712284s4/923101#923101

www.yoursclothing.co.uk/black-white-leaf-tankini-top-p

I'm a follower of James Smith, He talks plain, no nonsense, simple facts.

He has an academy you can join, of course, but there is a lot on his website and social media that you can get information.

Key information is:

1. All weight loss, no matter how achieved, is the result of a calorie deficit.
2. if you are gaining weight, you are overeating.
3. Log it, track it. Food is the most important part of losing weight. we kid ourselves that we aren't eating too much but (see two) you need to write it down to see it for real.
4. Neatup247 - move. Don't worry too much about the gym. Do activity that you enjoy. Get off a stop early on the bus, walk to the corner shop for milk, walk on the escalator etc.

Have a look at James Smith Academy on Facebook/socials etc.