To not even know how to start losing weight

[Catminder901]

To start with, I will admit that I am overweight - like, very overweight. Like BMI of 47 overweight.

I've always been quite fat, but piled on weight during both my pregnancies and never really managed to lose it. I'm Type 2 diabetic (surprise, surprise) and also have high blood pressure.

A pro pro of high blood pressure, my GP said I really need to lose weight and has referred me to see a dietitian. I'm just genuinely struggling to get my head round how I will actually start losing weight.

I have a lot of weight round my tummy and hips and thighs, so I waddle when I walk, plus I get out of breath and sweat and wheeze. It does not make exercise easy or appealing.

I don't actually massively overeat. I've tried diets and I can stick to them, but the second I lapse, all the weight goes on again and I feel like, why bother with this one?

I am sure a lot of people are going to think: just have some self control. But I honestly feel like, it would be so much easier to lose weight if I wasn't starting from quite such a bad point!

And I do want to change. I know that I'm at risk of health problems. I don't feel attractive. I can't do things which I'd like to do. And worst of all, I feel like once my kids are a bit older, I am going to be an embarrassment to them. I am THAT person who is so fat that people stare.

If anyone has any helpful hints (even along the lines of, you will be fat forever, just try to accept it) I would be so grateful.

It's not pathetic. Not at all.

You don't need to go to the gym. You can go for another walk round the block this evening, it's much easier to do that than to get to a gym and you don't need to see anyone at all.

You cannot fail at moving, but you can talk yourself out of it so easily.

The more you walk the easier it will be, promise.

Be kinder to yourself - the first step is to give less head space to what you think people might think of you. Because people really aren't thinking about you - they are too busy thinking about themselves and how they look and how other people might be thinking about them. But those people aren't because they are thinking about themselves.

It's exhausting worrying about what you think others are thinking. Give yourself a break from that and instead use that mental energy to go for a walk instead.

(I had counselling last year and as a result it helped me really give less thinking space to what I thought others might think. Because it is genuinely wasted and pointless effort.)

There is a saying that is abs are made in the kitchen and it’s true as is the saying you can’t put exercise a bad diet.

You need to watch your diet as a priority and increase your activity level without worrying about HIIT or running or going to the gym. You can do that later if you want to but you don’t have to.

I'm so tired of being a 'thick' at work. In a new job nearly 4 months now, but my colleague is getting a bit impatient with me. I'm trying my best but the new system I have to learn is so confusing, with jargon, and I don't understand it. She keeps saying 'don't you remember' and I kinda do, but I don't IUKWIM. Am thinking I need to start studying in the evenings or something I don't know what to do. I'm keeping a journal, writing everything down, studying the manual, but I think it's like until you've actually done the tasks a few times even if you read about them, or someone shows you, you don't 'get it' until you remember how to do it yourself. She's a lot younger than me and been here 8 years so is very very fast and knowledgable. I feel like such a dumbo.

sorry - posted in the wrong place - sorry OP

Seriously don’t worry about doing exercise yet just get your diabetes under control. What you eat will have a bigger impact than exercise. You are going to fail at times but it it is about just dusting yourself off and trying again. 2 steps forward, one back.
Rather than seeing it as weight loss why not think of it in terms of trying to reduce your insulin and blood glucose levels?

Gp can refer into slimming world for 12 weeks free and prescribe diet pills x

This is what I've started doing as well I'm on slimming world

I was sent a letter in December by the GP, offering me 12 weeks free Weight Watchers. I'd been years ago, and didn't like it, but decided 12 weeks wouldn't hurt me. It has changed so much! I would really recommend that you try it. Do not underestimate the help that they can give you. I'm not hungry, by the way, and I've lost 15lb since the beginning of January. I think that when my 12 free weeks is up, I will continue to go. (I expect Slimming World is equally as good).

I feel like such a freak when I can't walk round the block without pouring sweat or go up a flight of stairs without getting winded.

Just keep at it. I walk my kids to school and on the way back I use to struggle getting up the hill, it’s so hilly where we live and it’s about a mile there and a mile back. Getting there isn’t too bad as it’s down hill but once it came to walking home I was struggling to get up the hill, I would be out of breath, be conscious that people could hear my heavy breathing and having to stop a few times to catch my breath (pushing a pram up aswell so that makes it abit harder) but now I power walk up it and don’t struggle anymore, I feel lighter already since January and it will only get easier the more you lose!

I go to Slimming World and love it. It’s good to have the support you get there, it keeps you motivated, which is most of the trouble with weight loss. You don’t have to do loads of weighing etc. Walking through the door the first time is the hardest part. Would you consider a group?

@Catminder901just another post to say that public swimming pools are full of people who are obese, emaciated, healing from surgery (lots of these) ... everyone looks weird in some way and no-one will judge you or even look at you. Well done for doing something about your situation. You sound positive. I'm not quite as overweight as you but apart from the swimming I am not looking after my health by watching my eating and drinking enough. You've inspired me to get on track, so thank you.

Yes defo swimming. Obesity is common place now and no one will bat an eyelid.

The only way you can fail, op, is by not going out there and doing it.

Every activity you do is a win. Even if you are shit at it. Even if you didn't finish the full session. You are still lapping those on the couch.

Weight loss is almost entirely what you eat - you could not exercise and lose half your body weight. Stop obsessing over the fear of exercise because that's really not what you need to focus on - food is. I think you should enter what you consider 'not too bad' on myfitnesspal as I reckon you'll be shocked by the calories x

So many people fixate on exercise. Food is the most important thing

Not fixate. But it's part of the equation. And it's nice to find something you like. It releases happy hormones and is therefore part of the 'i feel good about myself' picture which it's really important to cultivate if you're to be successful and sustain your weight loss

Exercise is definitely part of the equation when diabetes is part of the problem.

No one is saying that exercise isn’t important. But the Op has various practical and emotional issues around exercising right now that are holding her back.

She needs to know that she can start on her weight loss journey NOW while only taking some light exercise like walking or housework.

She is very overweight so she will see good results fast on the right diet.

I lost 8 stone, in around 18 months and didn't exercise at all

. Following. Good luck OP.

@SuburbanFraggle you make a LOT of sense.

Exercise just needs to be something that makes you out of breath. The level of activity required to achieve that will change as you lose weight. If walking raises your heart rate/makes you puff a bit, that's plenty for now. You don't need to do swim/gym/run/classes etc until your body needs that to achieve 'puffed out'.

You need The Blood Sugar Diet. It's literally written for people in your situation. The main goal is reversing the diabetes, but that happens through weight loss that is specifically targeted at minimising the problems with insulin, by being low carb. But the book is SO motivating, with actual scientific research, psychological advice, and stories of people who have done it. And got their life back.

I have done it. My blood sugar dropped from 58 last summer to 34 in December. I have come off the metformin. Plenty of people with MUCH higher blood sugars than me have done the same. You can do this.

There are some lovely friendly Intermittent Fasting groups on Facebook and some of the ladies on there have had some great results. As already suggested I think you would see a difference quite quickly by making small steady changes, like no eating after 9pm or no chocolate or alcohol for a week or two. Whatever your weakness is try and cut it out for a fortnight and go from there. You don't need to exercise straight away focus on eating well and drinking lots of water. I also find that a really good quality multi vitamin has reduced my cravings. You definitely can do this. Believe in yourself. Just take it a day at a time. Good luck.

Regarding the continence issue, you need to see the gp who can refer you for physio. There will be a specialist physio lady who will work with you to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. If this doesn't help there are other treatments too. Please don't suffer with this in silence, it will improve your wellbeing no end when you get it sorted.