To not even know how to start losing weight

[Catminder901]

To start with, I will admit that I am overweight - like, very overweight. Like BMI of 47 overweight.

I've always been quite fat, but piled on weight during both my pregnancies and never really managed to lose it. I'm Type 2 diabetic (surprise, surprise) and also have high blood pressure.

A pro pro of high blood pressure, my GP said I really need to lose weight and has referred me to see a dietitian. I'm just genuinely struggling to get my head round how I will actually start losing weight.

I have a lot of weight round my tummy and hips and thighs, so I waddle when I walk, plus I get out of breath and sweat and wheeze. It does not make exercise easy or appealing.

I don't actually massively overeat. I've tried diets and I can stick to them, but the second I lapse, all the weight goes on again and I feel like, why bother with this one?

I am sure a lot of people are going to think: just have some self control. But I honestly feel like, it would be so much easier to lose weight if I wasn't starting from quite such a bad point!

And I do want to change. I know that I'm at risk of health problems. I don't feel attractive. I can't do things which I'd like to do. And worst of all, I feel like once my kids are a bit older, I am going to be an embarrassment to them. I am THAT person who is so fat that people stare.

If anyone has any helpful hints (even along the lines of, you will be fat forever, just try to accept it) I would be so grateful.

Have a look for Team RH on Facebook. Richie posts free videos that I think would really help you. He advises against crash diets as he believes some people will just end up binging. His point is that to be very overweight people are going to be eating say 3-4000 calories so if he sets an initial target of 2700 calories you would actually loose weight.

You do need to track your calories on something like my fitness pal but there are tips for how to do that and all you need are some scales for your food.

He is also Keen To point out that those that are very overweight burn a lot more calories as they carry excess weight every where they go, but he does recommend getting a pedometer and increasing your steps. Whether it’s a long walk or in many 10 minute walks.

The videos do make a lot of sense and some of the examples he gives of high calorie healthy food vs unhealthy food really do make you think about a few swaps. Ie Diet Coke for fruit smoothie

I'm sure you'll get lots of tips but thought I'd throw my two cents in as an overweight non-expert! I just watched a video today and it was talking about 'metabolic confusion' to kick all the fat burning hormones into action. Basically you cycle between low carb/low calorie days and higher carb/calorie days which keeps your metabolism on its toes. Also do 15 min workouts at a high intensity (which will be easier for you as you'll hit your max oxygen intake quickly at the moment) - rather than long boring workouts at a lower intensity. Apparently these two things will get you burning fat effectively. I'm about to start putting it into action.

I personally calorie count. Weigh and meausre everything. I use myfitness pal to log it. It taught me a lot about portions!

Im now doing intermittent fasting (only eating between noon and 8pm) but ive only been at it a week so cant reccomend it as of yet!!

I think 'slow and steady' works best here. Start with something small —perhaps a walk around the block every morning/evening or something like that. It may be hard at first, yes. But I can almost guarantee you that there will come a day where you'll be able to walk without wheezing or feeling out of breath and that will be something you can work towards and use as a motivational tool to continue on.

Do you have a friend or someone that can accompany you? A friend of mine had weight issues too and a bulk of the weight loss I'd attribute to her trainer, but one thing that actually got her started was our scheduled 7am 500m walk to get a cup of black (no sugar) coffee. 5 days a week I was there knocking at her door and because I was already there, some days more so than others, I think she felt obliged to come with me.

This was all something we agreed on by the way. She later told me that one of the reasons she asked me was because I was a stubborn arse who, barring extenuating circumstances, wouldn't give in to 'maybe tomorrow'.

Eat lots more fruit and veg, cut carbs and fat.

If you do what you've always done, you will get what you've always had.
Yes, sure, follow a diet to shift a big chunk of the weight, but then you need to find a new balance of eating that will maintain the new you, and not send you back down the path you are currently wanting to get off. Its HARD.

I use My Fitness Pal. It’s a calorie tracker and you can set realistic, achievable goals so you don’t feel like you’re starving. It also doesn’t mean rapid weight loss like Keto diet and the likes which are know to be unsustainable long term.

Exercise and eating right is the key.

I'm a big fan of Joe Wicks (The Body Coach). The Facebook group is super supportive and there's lots of evidence that it works (me included). There are lots of people who just need to tone up, but plenty who are in your position too.

He has about 250 YouTube fitness videos which are free and you can pick up his books for a fiver or so for his recipes. Or you can sign up to his plan if you think it'll work for you. I've never regretted that! Don't be scared of the exercises, you do as much as you can until you suddenly find yourself going all the way through.

Jillian Michaels is pretty good too.

Good luck!

Have you made an appointment with a dietician? I feel like they should have a lot of experience with people in exactly your position.

Have you considered surgery? I know for some people it's been a life changer.

I find having a meal plan printed out and stuck on my fridge helps, and making a shopping list so I don't get tempted by supermarket deals. there is a meal plan for one here which you can follow, the recipes it mentions are here.

In terms of exercise, start small and build up. go for a walk once a day if you can manage it (10 min walk progressing to a 15 minute one, then 20 mins until you manage a 30 min block of walking). Don't worry about speed or pace in the beginning, just focus on not stopping for a break. it might be worth investing in a fitbit or similar to count your steps?
water exercises are good too. aqua jogging may be worth a try? go to the pool at a quieter time, with a buoyancy belt. put the belt on, then go to the deep end of the pool (your legs shouldn't touch the floor) and start to jog. again, start slow and built it up, but going to do this 2 times a week for as long as you feel able (it will increase over time) will make a difference.

all the best and good luck x

To get my pregnancy weight off, I reduced my portion sizes and then stopped eating between meals, allowing my body to actually feel hungry before a meal.

That works if you have a healthy diet with plenty of variety. If not, you will need to tackle that first.

I’d say the more you have to lose, the easier it is to start seeing a difference, even a small one. In my experience it’s harder to lose weight when you have little to lose.

Start by keeping a food diary so that when you get your appointment for the dietician, you are ready to start analysing your habits. Write down absolutely everything, including water and other drinks.

When you start your diet, accept that there will be days when you lapse, but only let them last for the rest of that day. Each day is a new one, and a lapse on one day doesn’t mean you have to give up altogether.

A small thing you can do is try and up your steps, even if you don’t change your eating habits yet. Try to become aware of the movement you avoid because it feels like a lot of effort, and at least once a day, make that extra trip up the stairs, or park your car a little further away than you would normally do.

I’m newly diagnosed type 2 it was the kick up the arse I needed to look at my diet and lose weight. I’m determined to stay off meds as long as possible.
I’ve cut my carbs, log everything on my fitness pal and I walk more. Start by making small changes.

I started my diet on Ash Wednesday last year (March 6th) and in exactly one year, I've lost 7 stone 9lb. I have done it by counting calories. I have around 1500 a day. To begin with, I couldn't walk for more than 10 minutes without needing a rest but I now walk to work and back (round trip of 6 miles) and walk about 10 miles over the weekend. I haven't cut carbs and have a small sweet treat evening.

Thank you for the tips. I have just downloaded My Fitness Pal! I think it will be really helpful to have this also for when I see the dietitian, since I'll be able to give a more accurate account of my diet, etc.

The exercise thing... I've got a bit of a mental block about it. I do as little as I can and of course that just makes things worse. Apart from my general out of breath-ness and unfit-ness, I have an embarrassing problem... basically, since second pregnancy I have had pathetic bladder control and I'm constantly leaking and having "accidents" when I walk, when I lift things, even sometimes just standing up. I know it's because I'm overweight, but it makes exercising harder and pads don't always contain it! I'd love to try swimming but I'm nervous for two reasons: first, looking ridiculous in a swimming costume, second, I'm afraid I'd wet myself in the pool. I used to love swimming, but the thought of going now makes me come over all hot and panicky

I finally decided to shift it now as I was 40 at Christmas and was a size 22. 3 weeks in and 10lb down, don’t feel like I’m dieting at all I love it.

Here’s my helpful hints

You don’t need a diet , you need a whole new way of eating. So choose something you can stick to for the rest of your life.

You can do this this. Many people as big as you have lost the weight and totally transformed their lives.

It’s mostly about your food and not exercise, so don’t think you can’t do it. Once you have lost a bit you will find exercise easier - it’s good for your mental and physical health.

If you become a healthy weight you will probably have normal blood pressure and put your diabetes into remission.

I’d think about LCHF and IF if I were you. Read the Fast 800.

But calorie counting also works, it’s just much harder to keep to. Slimming World, weight watchers etc, they all have their fans.

There’s lots of support threads on MN, join one.

Sorry meant to add I joined weight watchers 3 weeks ago.

@TheSquitz wow, I am so impressed! If I could lose that much I'd still be overweight, but I'd at least be "normal" overweight as oppose to where I'm at now.

The calorie counting I'm going to try with My Fitness Pal. I'm wondering if 1500 is something good to aim for, or should I go higher / lower at first. I find it easy to cut carbs and have done this before (although not with huge effect, I'm sad to say!).

Exercise... urgh. I have to try

See double i disagree. Lchf is a massive change in diet. Its v strict and cuts out whole food groups. personally i would find that very hard to stick to and id fall ofd the wagon v quickly.

Different things work for different people!

You know yourself best op. Do whatever you think would be easiest!

Intermittent fasting is the one for me. I recommend reading the obesity code and going from there. It'll make you feel better about yourself by explaining how this isn't really your fault and that's helpful I think.

SlimmingWorld works for me. Lost 5 stone in 8 months last year and kept off for 6 months so far. I stay to group each week. Gets a bad press on here but it’s healthy eating, don’t need to eat muller lights and loads of pasta. I eat lots of protein and veg, big portions never hungry.

@Babytigerrr Kind of my feeling! Also it probably inevitably ends up meaning that I'd prepare different food for me than for the kids and DH and I can foresee the day of not being bothered arriving fairly quickly!

@Oysterbabe Ah, thank you! The problem is, I feel like it kind of is my fault . I just think, WHY did I let it get this bad?

You know this is a really problematic area and getting overweight is not something that just happens because people have no control. I believe it is a phenomenon that is so complex and everyone gets into the victim blaming, just eat less and move more. I have successfully lost weight twice in 15 years. Once through weight watchers and once going it alone. Surprise surprise I have put it back on and some. Will power and control is not the answer. Living life the weight watchers way for ever? We have complex things going on in our minds and bodies. As for exercise, difficult when youu are big, the only secret is to find something, anything you actually enjoy. Nothing else is sustainable