CF Food Taker

[Daisyhut]

I am probably being unreasonable but this is really starting to bug me. I have a lovely friend who is nice and kind. However, every time that we go out to lunch she helps herself to my food and to my children's food.

We lunch about twice a week and she always orders a small dish or side plate for herself. She says that she is not hungry. I will order food for me and my three Dc (all under 4).

When the food comes she always just digs into our food. On Thursday she ate most of my kids chips, carrot sticks and guacamole. She also ate several of my Haloumi fries. She did not do it absentmindedly. She heard me order for the kids and said "I cant wait to try the guacamole". I always order extra for the kids when we are with her so that they get enough to eat.

I am 100% sure that she has no financial issues and she is not dieting. Apart from this flaw she is lovely. I would never take her food so it is not something she has seen me do. If I mention it to her she may be offended.

YABU: Don't say anything it is just food.
YANBU: Mention it and risk upsetting her

Can you buy the amount of food for your children that they will eat and then help yourselves to her food too, treat it as shared food if that is what she is doing.

Just ask her to stop it!

Or stop meeting for food

I would be furious if she was helping herself to food for my children especially if she insists she isn’t hungry.

Plate it up yourself, and only give her what she ordered

QuixoticQuokka She only orders a small side or starter that she eats quickly. Think 2 slices of garlic bread or one bruschetta.

Say you can't wait to try some of what she's ordered then take half?

I’d be fuming and tell her to stop it

How on earth can 109% of us think yanbu? This calculator thing of MN's is bonkers...

YABU not to have pulled her up on this already. Taking good from your children’s plate?! If you font want to pull her up I’d just stop going for food dates with her. Sounds like she’s using it as a way to get a cheap lunch.

Just scream "Joey doesn't share food!!" at her next time!

I’d try to meet her in a non-food context personally. Or have coffees and dispense one rice cake/raisin box to each child.

Who cares if she's offended? She's rude, and doesn't give a fuck about offending you!

'Oi, this is our food! If you're still hungry order some more!'

How often has this happened? Could it be a money issue? I've opted for sides when I've been struggling with money... although I just probably sat staring at everyone else's food- wouldn't have taken from someone else's plate though. CF

‘So are you hungry or not coz my kids will be in an hours time the rate you are piling into their dinner’ - if she thinks it’ll to be rude and take food be just as rude back

Im dumbfounded that you wouldn't have already pulled this up - I too might feel awkward if it was just mine but no fucking way is anyone pinching food from my kids!

I’d mention it but no idea how, it’s so rude. Maybe something along the lines of “let’s order food we can all share and split the bill”.

Who has lunch out for four people? twice a week, every week?! 💰💰💰

That’s such weird behaviour; next time I’d just say do you mind waiting until they’re finished.

OMG, get her told the cheeky skinflint fucker! People helping themselves to my (or my DS) food send them right to the top of my shit list!

Tell her to buy her own, call her out or she’ll be doing it forever!

She clearly thinks (as do we all) that food off other people's plates has no calories.

Just tell her to stop, or buy 2 portions of what the kids eat and give one to her. The hint may be enough to stop her, if you can't bear to say something

@B0bbin It 100% is not a money issue.

Stab her hand with your fork.

One thing to nick my food but my children's! Wow, I would go pretty mental if that happened more than once. Mind you DD would be rather vocal, as she likes her food. That said, I used to have a mate who would order virtually no food, often just a drink, always claiming to be on some new weird healthy eating schtick but she would try to eat off my plate. I don't mind mutually sharing with my DH or really close friends when they have something of equal value to offer but am not prepared to tolerate blatant food thievery. I stewed over this a few times and then be furious after but eventually when it became more obvious she was eating a fair amount of my portion, I lifted my fork and 'jokingly' told her I would stab her hand if she tried to steal any of my food, as I was really hungry and it was my first proper meal. So when she did try to take something off my plate, I actually used my fork, not with full force but enough to make a point. It was all very polite and 'jokey' but my whole body language was 'just try me, bitch'. We eventually did drift apart for many other reasons, as I became less tolerant of her many other annoying habits.

PS: When you cannot afford it, there is no reason to eat out. I didn't when I was on a tight budget.

You need to tell her to stop.
If she gets cross because you don't want her to eat your food then so what?

I'd stop going out to eat with her tbh but if you are daft enough to carry on then when you are looking at the menu and she says she'll have whatever ask her are you sure? I think I'd prefer you order yourself a bigger meal than take half my and my kids food like you have been doing.

Or when the bill comes tell her that since she ate half your food she should pay half your bill.

She won't stop unless you put your foot down.

Next time you go out, when you're looking at menus say something like 'I think you need to order something more substantial than that Joan, remember last time you were still hungry and had half the dc's food?'

Stop going for food with her. When she asks why, tell her.
Not only is she a CF shes also teaching your young children bad table manners. I'd have no issue telling her.