Gave friend advice on her son...and she told me to mind my business,aibu?

[simplefays]

My friends little boy is 6 and yesterday was off school with a sickness bug.
He was vomiting all day till 4ish (so my friend said)
Then diarrhoea till 7 ish (might have happened after )
She rang me last night saying she couldn't wait for work today as he whinged all day.
I said "who's looking after him whilst your at work"
She said he is going to school tomorrow so without thinking I said I didn't think it was a good idea as he could pass it on.
She got angry and told me to mind my business so I snapped back she was being a bit selfish.
Aibu here?
I didn't mean to sound patronising to her.

Never give advice that hasn't been asked for at least twice.

Actually YANBU. Your friend is being selfish and not following the school rules on sicknesses.
She snapped at you because she knows she's in the wrong.

I was going to say 'don't give advice you weren't asked for' however she rang up for a whinge and a moan, you offered an opinion.

I don't think 'I am not sure its a good idea to send him in to pass on his lurgy' is really 'advice' as such, and it's probably something she already knows but is ignoring for her own convenience.

So YANBU.

I am sure she knows the rules anyways, she didn't ask you for advice and it's not easy for every working parent to take time off easily. Some are under huge pressure to go into work.

I think you should have kept your thoughts to yourself.

YANBU.
Poor little boy

Shes right it's none of your business

I don't agree with her decision as it is selfish, but you shouldn't have commented , what did you think she would say " oh you are right better not then "?

If you have the following thoughts " I was just being helpful " " know better do better" " I was just saying " or any version. Stop giving advice it's not helping .

YANBU but never give advice that isnt asked for twice is a pretty good guide if you want to stay friends.

I would normally advise against unsolicited advice (see what I did there?) but I'd have said the same.

I said it before I even thought tbh.
I knew as soon as I said it she would probably kick off.

Hang on. I have read so many threads on here about people moaning about selfish people sending their d&v kids back to school before the correct illness free time has passed and then op does what really all of us should do, and pulls someone up for it and she is told SHE should basically mind her own business. Probably be a different kettle of fish if your kid was affected by the actions of such a selfish, thoughtless individual. That's how these illness continue because we are all complicit in saying or doing nothing.

Can't see what you did wrong OP.

She's your friend and she was telling you about her situation and what she was going to do. I imagine most people's reation would be 'you can't send him to school with a bug like that'.

However, I can see why she was annoyed with you; people frequently get defensive when they know they're doing something they shouldn't.

I’m sure I’ve read somewhere that the 48 hour rule is actually a load of bollocks.

It just helps people feel better about it all.

But all the same, I agree with you op

Thought everyone knew about the 48 hour rule by now?
Hope your DCs are at a different school, OP!
YANBU.

Yanbu, she’s being very selfish.

How is the 48 hour rule “a load of bollocks”?? Some people really scrape the barrel to justify their selfishness.

Yanbu

I would text later (not apologise!) and just say hope X is feeling better or something like that

YANBU. She's just fed up of her dc whinging so wants shot of them regardless of the consequences.

YANBU I would have done the same

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong OP.
People like her piss me off. I’ll just send my kid to school. Sod everyone else!

YANBU - your "friend" is being massively unreasonable though. He son is almost certainly still contagious and probably won't be in any way "recovered" and certainly in no fit state to be in school.

I'd not really want to be friends with someone this unreasonable.

Yabnu and normally I hate unsolicited advice. I personally would be ringing the school to notify them.

You absolutely said the right thing. Fancy spreading around so your kid gets ill too. There are children at our school with comprised immunity, so a virus would take them straight into hospital, every single time.

YANBU. She's pissed off because you've called her out on her selfish behaviour.

You did the right thing!!!!! I’m immunocompromised. I’ve had 2 sick bugs in my life. Both have left me fighting for my life in ICU. They can kill me. I’ve been very lucky that neither did. But it required many drs. Nurses. Trying to keep me alive

Your friend is f**king selfish and horrible to be sending her child in when it can make people like me spend months fighting for their lives or kill me.

I don't think you were being unreasonable, the child is likely to have a crap time at school feeling rubbish, it's more for the teacher to deal with if he's unsettled, and he will probably pass it on to other children, great. Yes people are worried about taking time off work, but it's one of those things; millions of us have to deal with it.