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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He works abroad and said the girls there are really attractive

180 replies

JoSwiss1212 · 04/03/2020 08:21

AIBU - Probably am

Boyfriend of 1yr and a half (hes 25, i"m 23) works abroad.
He goes away for 2 weeks, comes home for 2.
He came back and told me the girls are really attractive where he is and on night outs they always want to talk to him but he tells them he has a girlfriend.
Aibu to feel a bit insecure about this?

OP posts:
LRCG · 04/03/2020 08:22

Why is he telling you that for ! Not going to make you feel very secure is it

Sadiesnakes · 04/03/2020 08:23

Did he need to tell you that?

Sounds like he wants you feeling insecure.

DDIJ · 04/03/2020 08:23

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Luckystar20 · 04/03/2020 08:23

Ltb

Ughmaybenot · 04/03/2020 08:24

Mission accomplished for him then. He’s trying to make you feel insecure, so you feel lucky to have him and try harder to make him happy.

You’d be a fool to carry on with this immature idiot.

lachy · 04/03/2020 08:24

I'd respond...

"off you jolly well fuck then!"

YouJustDoYou · 04/03/2020 08:28

He's deliberately trying to make you feel jealous/insecure - what a fucking dickhead.

Original poster
JoSwiss1212 · 04/03/2020 08:30

This was his first shift abroad in the country he's currently in and the girls there are stereotypically blonde and tall, whereas i'm short (5') and brunette so it's made me feel quite insecure;
Since then i've joked to him to go and get a "insert country name" girl then, and just jokes back "okay then" and jokes that any girl would want him

OP posts:
something2say · 04/03/2020 08:31

Which country is he in?

thedevilinablackdress · 04/03/2020 08:31

"And why are you telling me this?"
Wait for an answer.
He sounds a bit immature.

Original poster
JoSwiss1212 · 04/03/2020 08:31

He's also said he was just winding me up and he said it's not as if he was "wacking the girls away with his penis"

OP posts:
x2boys · 04/03/2020 08:32

Not sure why he's telling you this ?? But let's face it people do look more attractive on nights out when they have spent ages getting ready etc sounds like he's trying to make you jealous Hmm

DICarter1 · 04/03/2020 08:32

He sounds like an utter dick! Life is too short to be made to feel like crap by someone who is meant to care about you.

You can do better!

Original poster
JoSwiss1212 · 04/03/2020 08:34

He said it was in context that the average UK isnt that attractive whereas girls in this country are nearly always attractive,
So i asked if i was not attractive as a "UK girl" then? And he said i'm an exceptionHmm

OP posts:
Rosiejim · 04/03/2020 08:34

He sounds like a nob. My ex used to pull this shit all the time. It’s to keep you on edge. My DP now would NEVER purposely try to make me feel insecure- quite the opposite. Ask yourself what you think you deserve?

MulticolourMophead · 04/03/2020 08:34

I think he's going to take you at your word. He's only 25, and probably not yet ready to settle down. You're already feeling insecure, and no bloke is worth feeling like that.

Reginabambina · 04/03/2020 08:35

Either he’s insecure himself or he wants to make you insecure (or both). At his age he should know better really. Unless he has some major redeeming features I wouldn’t hand around to find out whether he grows up or not. This is very different to objectively noting that women in x country are very attractive. The way he put it is deliberately emotive which raises concerns about his intentions towards and his own emotional adequacy.

Mordred · 04/03/2020 08:36

" whereas i'm short (5') and brunette "

You sound yummy. 10x better than a tall blonde IMHO :-)

x2boys · 04/03/2020 08:38

He sounds very immature tbh and a but full of himself .

Damntheman · 04/03/2020 08:38

I'm going to assume it's Sweden, or at least Scandinavian. I live in Scandinavia, girls here are just as attractive as girls in the UK on the same kind of scales and the same kind of percentage chance of being attractive. Some UK girls are incredibly beautiful, some Scandinavian girls are not.

He's being a total arsehole, seems to me he's trying to make you feel insecure and it's a really nasty thing to do. What does he say if you calmly ask him to stop doing that because it's upsetting? His response should be telling. A) he stops and hopefully apologises - great! B) he says you're being silly and too sensitive and he's only joking - he's a dick and you can do so much better.

Bluntness100 · 04/03/2020 08:38

Lol what a dickhead. Any woman would want him. How did you not laugh!

How is this possibly making you insecure. It’s an opportunity for a massive pisstake. Followed by a swift off you fuck then.

YeahWhatevver · 04/03/2020 08:38

What a catch..... You're such a lucky woman OP!

EmeraldShamrock · 04/03/2020 08:38

He shouldn't have admitted it. Female friends have come back from EE countries saying similar as an observation.
Lots of tall, slim, blonde well kept women.

Yorkshirelass04 · 04/03/2020 08:39

He sounds a bit immature.

You need to feel fully confident that you are gorgeous too.

AdelaideK · 04/03/2020 08:41

Do you ever discuss his looks or do you just talk about yours and other women?