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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He works abroad and said the girls there are really attractive

180 replies

JoSwiss1212 · 04/03/2020 08:21

AIBU - Probably am

Boyfriend of 1yr and a half (hes 25, i"m 23) works abroad.
He goes away for 2 weeks, comes home for 2.
He came back and told me the girls are really attractive where he is and on night outs they always want to talk to him but he tells them he has a girlfriend.
Aibu to feel a bit insecure about this?

OP posts:
Yummymummy2020 · 04/03/2020 08:43

He sounds like a bit of an ass and probably wouldn’t like it if your topic of conversation was how attractive all the men you saw out where while he was away. Very immature behaviour!

Sadiesnakes · 04/03/2020 08:43

Read the current Aibu red flag thread op. I'm guessing he'll check a lot of the lists on that.

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt · 04/03/2020 08:44

What a catch 🙄 bin him and find someone who doesn’t make you feel insecure. It’s cruel to do this to you intentionally.

LolaSmiles · 04/03/2020 08:44

It's one thing to acknowledge that there's been some attractive women, and another to act like he's god's gift to women and he has to bat them off.

You're both in your early 20s. Ask yourself if you really want to spend the next few years of your life dealing with his attitude.

Shoxfordian · 04/03/2020 08:48

He has a lovely attitude about women there
Why are you with him?

damnthatanxiety · 04/03/2020 08:51

what is unattractive about petite? What is unattractive about brunette? OP, you should reassess your views on beauty. I am sure you are very attractive.

Original poster
JoSwiss1212 · 04/03/2020 08:51

This is the first time he's ever made me feel insecure,
He worked abroad in another UK country and didnt comment on looks which is why this has all made me so insecure since i thought why comment?

Im in work at the moment and i'm seeing him later but I just think if i bring it up again, i"ll sound incredibly insecure

And yes your guesses were right about the country

OP posts:
Original poster
JoSwiss1212 · 04/03/2020 08:52

I dont think petite and brunnette are unattractive but when he specifically comments that these tall and blonde girls were attractive then it made me feel a bit "well im quite the opposite"

OP posts:
Original poster
JoSwiss1212 · 04/03/2020 08:53

*not another UK country, i meant another European country

OP posts:
thepeopleversuswork · 04/03/2020 08:53

He’s a dick. And a sexist pig. LTB.

x2boys · 04/03/2020 08:54

And also beauty is in the eye of the beholder ,some people are more attracted to tall slim blonde,s ,some are more attracted to small brunettes ,etc etc it's ridiculous to say a particular country has more attractive citizens

GruciusMalfoy · 04/03/2020 08:54

Let's be honest, I bet he's that creepy weirdo in the club who just stares at attractive women, while they give him a wide berth. He is saying all this to make you feel insecure.

Original poster
JoSwiss1212 · 04/03/2020 08:54

I said the same to him, i told him he's focusing on stereotypes, i've seen so many beautiful women from the UK, so he's being small-minded!

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 04/03/2020 08:58

Point out that it's a good thing you're not equally obsessed by looks...

Then ltb

Ughmaybenot · 04/03/2020 09:01

Oh get rid of him. What a pathetic person he sounds.

goose1964 · 04/03/2020 09:01

Ditch him now before he does any more damage. I was with a man like this when I was 18 to 21 and he left me with awful self esteem issues. I'm in my mid 50s and I have only just recovered from the mental damage.

TeddTess · 04/03/2020 09:02

You're 23
honestly you're in the prime of your life.
don't waste any time on someone who doesn't a) make you feel amazing and b) enhances your life.

Just being away 50% of the time is not great for a fun twenty something relationship is it? He should be massively making it up to you, not being an arse.

delilahbucket · 04/03/2020 09:02

He's looking for a ego boost and boasting about it to his girlfriend is not only immature but very hurtful. He needs to grow up before he is capable of being in an adult relationship.

TheMustressMhor · 04/03/2020 09:07

OP, he sounds very immature and also that he is trying to upset you deliberately.

All the joking about not whacking them with his penis is very likely covering up the fact that he is either planning to do so, or already has.

I would rethink this bloke.

ChuckleBuckles · 04/03/2020 09:07

He sounds awful OP, he is testing you to see what he can get away with. I say move on, do you really want to be with someone who says hurtful things to you deliberately?

The next time he starts on about all these women wanting to get to know him tell him they will soon back off when he starts chatting, let him know what it feels like.

TheMustressMhor · 04/03/2020 09:08

I think he is having an affair.

Potatobug · 04/03/2020 09:09

Go to Israel or Italy and comment to that prick how gorgeous the men are there.

Thripp · 04/03/2020 09:09

OP, you are only 23!

There are so many million fun things you could be doing now that don't involve a boyfriend at all - so if you're willing to let one into your life, make sure he is bloody special.

This one isn't.

sallievp · 04/03/2020 09:10

You are only 23! Don't waste any more of your time with this 'man'. If he really loved you he would never ever make you feel bad.

ChickLitLover · 04/03/2020 09:11

I don’t think you should stay with someone who wants you to feel insecure. He’s a dick. You deserve better, you should expect more.

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